Sleeping through the night

Yeah, I agree with Kellz and Peanut - every baby is different. And even if you do get them sleeping through the night for a while, they may revert to night wakings later on(especially if they're sick, teething or moving on to a new developmental stage like starting to crawl etc). 

DS started sleeping from 7pm-7am at 6 months, when he started solids, boy were we stoked!   But it all went to pieces when we travelled a couple of times. He was fairly good the first trip away, but the next time we ended up putting him in a bedroom that was down the other end of the house. One night he woke up and started crying but we couldn't hear him. My grandmother did, but didn't want to interfere, so left him. After 10 mins he started screaming, which woke me up. He needed lots of cuddles to resettle that night, then for a couple of weeks afterwards kept waking randomly throughout the night and crying out as though he was terrified. Took ages to rebuild his trust, but we're getting there slowly.......although now it's getting lighter he's decided 6am is the new wake-up time .

I do believe consistency helps. There are millions of "right ways" of teaching your baby to sleep / resettle themselves and it can be really confusing figuring out which one / combination will work for your baby. Once we found a method we were comfortable with, we kept repeating it for several weeks, which helped DS learn what to expect and feel secure I guess. 

BTW, DS has added to his settling routine himself - he always pulls his blanket (an aircell one) up over his face, and shakes his head from side to side as he's drifting off to sleep - so cute, but keeps rubbing the hair off the back of his head!

Oh Felicity, poor you  - you must be dreading your MIL's visit . I personally think its important to do whatever you feel comfortable with (trust your instincts!), and be consistent with your method, so bubs learns what to expect when you're teaching them how to resettle to sleep. Can you politely but firmly refuse to try out her advice, and say you'd prefer to do it your way instead?

Before I discovered OHbaby! I read Tracy Hogg's books, which helped me to teach DS to learn to sleep and resettle himself. I just couldn't bring myself to let him cry it out, so the only time he's experienced that method was for the 10 mins I mentioned in my earlier post. Thankfully he must trust me again now, as he's back to sleeping through the night (phew). It did take about three weeks to rebuild the trust though, and got tricky in the end. He started crying out in his sleep - but didn't actually need me, ie would continue sleeping if I didn't go in to *rescue* him. But occassionally would be wide awake and scared, so did need me. When you've been sound asleep yourself it's hard to turn off autopilot and think "what kind of cry was that?" .

If you're interested in finding out more about the Baby Whisperer techniques, have a look at these:

Link to "Sleep - a Q&A interview with Tracy Hogg" .

Link to gradual process for weaning young babies off dummies.

And here is her response to a couple of queries that might be relevant to your situation? (note babies are a different age though):

Q: I have tried to stick it out with the [sleeping routine], but my 10 month old daughter just doesn't give in. I know it must be my fault for not seeing it through, but really I have tried this all night for quite a few nights. I am just wondering if peoples suggestions "to let her cry it out" would be beneficial? Or would it more hinder her than help her? We are talking screaming bloody murder, not just a whimper.

Tracy Hogg: I do not advocate crying it out, and it's important for you to realize the trust you have built over the 10 months of this child's life has been established by you always going in and tending to her. Yes, she will cry and be upset, but if you don't see it through to the end, you are prolonging the process.

Parents should think this through: Our children need to trust our word, and that means following through good or bad so as they grow, when mum or dad makes a promise or gives a refusal of something, those children trust your word. And that's the most fundamental building block in any relationship you have with another human being. It also teaches integrity, respect, and it starts in infancy. And that's why in the toddler book I talk about being a conscious parent. You have to think things through and see them through to the end. And to remember that we are all human, and we all get tired and frustrated -- even I get exhausted. But that's the commitment that we make as parents and it's a very serious commitment.

Q: How can you teach a baby to self-soothe?

Tracy Hogg: Some babies gravitate to an object, but in my experience it's usually instigated by a parent. So a transitional object is introduced by a parent, such as a blanket or a soft toy. And you have to introduce it when you are doing something that's relaxing, so when you are cuddling them or want to make the transition, give it to them when they are in the crib and introduce it consistently. What a lot of parents do is give them an item and when they don't immediately grasp onto it they give up. Keep repeatedly giving them the object.

Self-soothing comes in many guises. For instance, I have known infants who will throw their legs up in the air and throw them back down on the mattress or rub their head from side to side to soothe themselves. These are the little ones with the bald heads in the back, in the supermarket! Some play with digits -- fingers or thumbs. Some babies pull on their ear. Others make noises. So if you are really observant (all humans have this trait of self-soothing), you should be able to tell what your baby's preference to self-soothing is.