Am I mad...

...to be thinking about going back to work?

OK, so DH and I are REALLY struggling living off the one income. What makes it worse was that I was the main breadwinner and earned nearly double what DH earns now and we are finding that we are losing money each week. If it wasn't for the fact that we have a bit of savings as a safety net, we'd really be up s*%t creek! It just seems to be one thing after another, and with Christmas looming, I'm starting to stress a little...

We get a bit of money from IRD (working for families) but even with that, our rent takes pretty much half of DH's wages every week, and then the rest is chewed up with bills and groceries. We are by no means living an extravagant lifestyle. We hardly use the car (we only have 1) as DH's work is a 10 minute walk and I can walk to get whatever I need.

So, anyway, I saw an ad for a job that could be a possibility, and am wondering whether I should apply or not. It is part-time (I have emailed them to find out specific hours, pay, etc.) but I don't really want to leave my wee girl in child care at this age and it would also mean I would pretty much have to give up breastfeeding... Any suggestions?? I'm really in two minds about the whole thing...

you might find it wont be worth if financially anyway. As you might loose what little in the way of help you are getting from the government and then paying for childcare. Maybe try looking into things you can do from home? ie Mystery shopping, avon, market research? Or find work that fits around your DH work hours.

I dont think your mad. If you are going backwards financially, i would be stressing out too!

I so hear you, we are in the same boat, I have just accepted a job at Lonestar rest here in Palmy and quite excited it is night work so dh will look after the kids, I applied for wait staff position something I have never done, but willing to try anything that will help out well I have been given a diff position, on the front counter charging up the orders and taking the money when people come to pay should be loads of fun, not sure if it will help out too much with the extra running of the car and then we will prob loose some accom supp and wff but it will be nice to get out of the house as well, catch 22 but won't have to pay daycare.

LMAO Andie, even Willie struggles with LoneStar meals!

Go Nic!

I'm doing canvases for family presents this year, brought on by Andie's painty party idea. I'm going to get some of the tiniest canvases and give each person a set of three, one painted by each girl.

And Shell I don't think you're mad, I work because I enjoy it but also because it affords me the lifestyle which I choose to keep. We could *afford* to live on Willie's income alone but I wouldn't be shopping at Patch or going out for coffee nearly as often as I do. I'm lucky in that I work from home tho so my costs are reduced, altho now that I have a nanny that eats up a bit.

Maybe DH could be a SAHD? and that way he could bring Isabella in so you wouldn't have to give up bfing

Thanks everyone for your great advice. The job is only part time (apparently 2-3 days working from 9am-6pm roughly) but to get there will take an hour from where I live, so I'd have to factor in petrol costs too (and time). And no, DH is NOT going to be a SAHD as he has only just started his career (he's an accountant) and needs to get at least 3 years experience before his pay will go up, so he really NEEDS to work. Whos to say I'd get the job anyway, but I might send my CV in anyway, and let that be the deciding factor (fate of the Gods and all that ).

Hi Shell, what a tough situation to be in. I went back to work when Hannah was 6 weeks old, but only on Saturday mornings and I expressed so that DH could look after her. He was full-time student during the week and picked up some work on Saturday afternoons as well. I quit when I was 30ish weeks pregnant with Briona, I was just too tired to look after a toddler and be so pregnant and work part time as well.

Just last week I started work again, 30 hours a week, but this time my DH is SAHD and we've decided to do this arrangement until the end of the year and then reconsider what to do (pretty much, who will work) next year. I don't want to put my kids into care. Kryssi is 9mos, Briona would probably be ok, and Hannah would thrive in something like a PORSE environment vs daycare (less people).

The first thing I'd do if I were you, is relook at your budget. Go see a budget advisor, they can not only give you pointers that you might have missed but they can also check that you are getting all the supplements etc that you should be. Pay off your DH's Student Loan (I'm presuming here) at the minimum rate, if you have a mortgage, go to a mortgage broker (for free) and check if there's anything you can do to reduce that. If you are renting, can you move into a cheaper place for a year?

If you go back to work you'll need to look at your accomodation supplement and WFF payments (OT, that short form always looks like WTF to me ) and how they will change, as well as petrol and work clothes cost and bottles/sterilisers/formula (if you do formula) etc.


I hope that didn't sound negative. I don't mean to be, it's just there are so many hidden things. Just with going back to work last week, I pretty much didn't fit any of my work clothes from previously so I've already spent $200 to update my wardrobe!

All the best for making the right decision for your family

I don't know what you do for a living but is it something that you could do from home? I'm not going back to work till Spencer is 7 months but we had saved money for me to take time off. We have absolutely gone through our finances with a fine tooth comb so that when I go back it can be doing the least amount of hours possible so I can spend max amount of time with Spencer. I have also spoken to my work and arranged to mostly work from home, that way I can work around DH's shifts and use the least amount of daycare as poss.
I didn't think I would mind putting him in daycare but now he is here I really can't face handing him over to someone I don't know. (Sorry probably not a helpful comment). I think when he is a bit older and can interact with other kids I won't mind.

I don't think you are mad for thinking about returning to work, but I would make sure that you have had a really good look at your finances first and see if there is anything you can cut out/cut down on.

There was a thread a little while ago on money saving ideas maybe have a look through that for inspiration - I got using chux cloths as wipes from in there.

Me and DH had huge discussions tonight about all this and we have (sort of) agreed that we may need to move back to Christchurch (we moved to Nelson in April this year cos DH got a job that he really needed to advance his career) to get us back on track. As I have 12 months maternity leave from my current job back in CHCH, I could easily pick up a shift or 2 (I'm an RN) whenever, and there are always extra shifts going if I wanted them.

If we stayed here, I'd have to go through the whole process of looking for another job, travelling miles to get to it, trying to get Bella into daycare, etc. etc. Once DH has a years worth of experience from his current job, he will be able to get another job easily and already has contacts in CHCH. But man, I am soooooooooo sick of moving (this would be our 8th shift in 5 years ) The budget advice is pretty good Teresa, but I'm pretty much a stickler when it comes to money, we have always been really good at saving money, not spending too much etc. and as I am breastfeeding, using cloth nappies, not using the car, paying low rent, I don't see where else we could save any more...?

As you can see, this whole situation has me a little stressed, and I'm up at 2am too stressed to get back to sleep . Oh, and trying to sell a bunch of things on TradeMe to make some money

ShellandBella,

I am currently planning my day care for when i return to work. Before getting pregnant i thought that it would be really easy to leave my child in daycare at 3 months but am now realising that it is going to be tough. I have to go back to work, as with you guys finances dictate.

My only comfort is that the daycare is a really good place, i drop in at odd times to get a feel for the place. The children there are really sociable and the staff are friendly and have a policy of giving you written updates of your childs activities etc everyday.

If you do decide to go back to work and take the option of daycare just check it out and don't worry about asking them stupid questions, spend some time at the day care to get a feel for it and to help your child settle. Good luck in your decision.

Laura