So when does it become Self Defence?

Following on from this new Anti Smacking Law, when does it become self defence when you retaliate?

My friend has a 12 year old son. The other day, he threw a total wobbly in the supermarket because she wouldn't let him push the trolley and hit her so hard, twice, on the chest that it left red handprint marks that didn't go away for about an hour. It also nearly knocked her from her feet.

Because she was in the supermarket, she didn't do anything to him there and then because she didn't want the cops called her on. However, in this instance, IMO, I feel she could have used force as self defence.

So hence my question, when can it be considered self defence?

She is so upset, this is not the first time its happened, and is considering calling the cops next time and asking them how to deal with it seeing she can't use any force against him for fear of it being considered 'smacking'.

What do you think?

Woah thats pretty tough. Looking from the other side of it, maybe there is something going on with the son for him to react like that, to me its a definite over-reaction.

He may need some help.

As for what she should do, hmm I think she needs to sit down with him and find out why he reacted so badly, and just check in with him that everything is ok. Maybe he's crying out for attention.

I would be wondering what else is going on with the 12 year old, and definitely talking to his school about what supports there are, cos there are a number of services out there for kids with behaviour issues (and for their families).

I wonder if she replied physcially, if it would be dealt with under different legislation cos he is fairly old. Under s59, you can defend that you are doing so for corrective action.

The advantage of talking to youth aide about it is that if she is put in a situation where she has to defend herself they're already aware of his case and she's not going to feel put on trial.

I think before youth aide is contacted that it needs to be kept in the family to start off with. Maybe she needs to contact her GP and make an appt with the GP and discuss other options for her son and her family. He maybe able to suggest a few other avenues that they could explore first, eg: Family counselling and/or counselling for the son. If she is in Wgtn, there is the Child, Health and Disability Service that maybe able to help them also.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what he did was right, I'm just saying that there must be more to it. Teenagers are funny chaps, and like someone said above, sudden changes, new schools allsorts of things could trigger him.

Good god. I would have kicked that little so and so in the rear! Thats the problem with kids today (and no offence to your poor friend) they arent afraid of anyone so they think they can do what they want O.o

Hmm, I agree with a lot of what is said here. The reason her 12 year old is hitting her should be of primary concern.

I suspect hitting him back will not help the situation. The kid needs to learn a new way of dealing with anger and that sort of behaviour should be rolemodelled.

Primary concern should be on helping this child, rather than worrying if the police will be on to her if she hits back. IMHO that is much more important if you are to help the boy becoming a violent member of society later on.

However, he still needs some serious consequences for his behaviour. Youth Aid might just be a good start.

That must've been very upsetting for your friend. I hope she has good support as well.

Hi

 

Thats really sad.... There must be some sort of issues going on there why he'd retaliate like that. Big hugs to Mum also... In saying that though you need to be really really careful who and or where she goes for help.... I know of someone who had a very similar situation with there then 9 year old daughter & when she went looking for help CYF'S somehow got involved & they've turned my friends life upside down, they tend to forget what the parents go thru....I know evryone thinks CYF's are angels sent from god to protect our children but believe me they are not all angels with glowing Halo's over their heads, dont get me wrong CYF's have done alot of good and you will always hear about those good stories but they've caused alot of unneccesary heartache also. They suggested to my friend to have a parental & child assesment done which my friend agreed on and OMG that was the biggest mistake she could've ever made....They turned everything she said into negative things and have now taken custody of the child even though it was the child beating the mother.... I have known my friend for nearly 20 years and she has never ever hurt her child.... I'd be the 1st person on the phone to CYF's if i thought her or her child were at risk....It's a very long story but it does sound like your friend and her son need some sort of help but do be carefull where she gets it....

Edited by xox6Girls1Boyxox