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  | caraMel   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Points: 5342
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Topic: Bit of a laugh Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:29pm
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   WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
 2. No = Yes
 3. Maybe = No
 4. We need = I want
 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
 9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
 
 MEN'S ENGLISH
 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
 3. I am tired = I am tired
 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
 5. I love you = let's have sex now
 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
 
 And finally.....
 
 A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
 For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
 However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
 
 
 
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     Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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  | busymum   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 12236
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:34pm | 
 
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   HAHAHAHA I love the top part, can't read it often enough    But the 'finale' really made me laugh      Good one!
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  | Kels   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Lower Hutt
 Points: 11520
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:49pm | 
 
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       Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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  | kezplanet   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Southbridge, Canterbury
 Points: 1120
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 07 February 2007 at 1:39am | 
 
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   Thank you sooo much for the laugh, have to do it quietly as everyone asleep but great!!
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     Kerryn, Mum to   
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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  | Gracielou   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Auckland
 Points: 574
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 07 February 2007 at 7:28am | 
 
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   That is soooooooooo funny!
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  | nuttymama   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: christchurch
 Points: 1090
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 07 February 2007 at 11:06am | 
 
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   I love it.  Have already sent it to several like minded people.
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     Abigail  06/01/2005
Jayden   21/11/2001
 Micheal  03/04/1997
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  | ellabellame   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Hokitika
 Points: 1325
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 07 February 2007 at 11:10am | 
 
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   hahaha, wow that actually made me laugh out loud, i got a funny look from DP. soooo funny!
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  | james   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 7255
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 07 February 2007 at 4:33pm | 
 
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   lol i love that one   | 
 
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     <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  | Andie   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 3614
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 07 February 2007 at 5:59pm | 
 
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   Ahhh that's excellent.  thanks for sharing the laugh!
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     Andie 
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