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caliandjack 
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Joined: 10 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
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 Posted: 08 December 2008 at 5:58pm |
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I agree with Mel and Kelly, I've been there done this with one of my friends, and while we used to be really close we don't live in the same city any more and I do find I have to make the effort to keep in touch. Things changed dramatically when she had children as I haven't yet.
I do think friendships change and evolve, and sometimes distance has an impact. Try not to be too hard on her or disappointed sometimes things don't always turn out as you'd like.
I'm like you and try to make an effort for others, not everyone is like that.
How important is the friendship to you? Is it worth keeping to let this incident slide and not get too bothered by it?
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my4beauties
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: NZ
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Posted: 08 December 2008 at 6:30pm |
mrsg1, we've been friends since childhood, and we've always lived in different cities, she's been in akl, I live in the Mount. We've been in constant contact our whole lives, but i really do know she takes me for granted and has never really been the best friend, we are best friends, but I know I'm more of the better friend to her, than she is to me. I find that she has always put herself first and has never been generous to me at all! We didnt' even get a congrats card when Jett was born!! There's been many occasions I've been upset at how ungiving she is (if ungiving is even a word?).
Anyway, her response to why she was on the phone all morning on saturday was "she had an issue with their babysitter on friday night and she had to let her parents know". Take from that what you will. Still not a lot of information.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) 
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 08 December 2008 at 7:10pm |
 Italiah wrote:
mrsg1, we've been friends since childhood, and we've always lived in different cities, she's been in akl, I live in the Mount. We've been in constant contact our whole lives, but i really do know she takes me for granted and has never really been the best friend, we are best friends, but I know I'm more of the better friend to her, than she is to me. I find that she has always put herself first and has never been generous to me at all! We didnt' even get a congrats card when Jett was born!! There's been many occasions I've been upset at how ungiving she is (if ungiving is even a word?).
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wow, wer'e like the same person ,(except my brothers not so hot  ) I could have written that exact same thing about my friend
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my4beauties
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Posted: 08 December 2008 at 7:48pm |
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I feel for you then Kelly. Are you still friends with this person, or have you moved on? I am thinking of pulling away from the friendship a little. I think being friends is a two-way thing (like a marriage), you can't be the one giving all the time, and never get anything in return. I pretty much get nothing from her, and haven't for many years. I guess what happened on the weekend just made it dawn on me. It's very draining always giving.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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.Mel
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Posted: 08 December 2008 at 8:07pm |
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Hmm I think you should move on, as hard as it is (and it is) sometimes you need to focus on those around you, those who will be there for you, should anything happen where you need them there. Not via a text message.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 12:12am |
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ooh i feel bad now , I wont go into to much details , cos we all know my mother frequents here !
but to be fair to my friend, she can take me for granted, BUT , she definetly makes more of an effort than your friend (no offence ) she brings her daughter over quite a bit , she and C are best mates , she was there when C was born , and shes a bridesmaid , and the more I think about it, she isnt that bad ...just sometimes she can be slack , sorry for sounding like it was really bad ...
As far as your friend goes tho, I agree with Mel , i would move on , as sad as it is, the end of a friendship ,you deserve a better one
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my4beauties
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 9:25am |
Well I'm glad that your friend isn't as bad as mine, Kelly. Cause it sucks when you have friends that don't pull their weight.
We have so much history in our friendship, and so many memories, she's one person I can talk to about things that happened years ago that she knows about and understands. Some newer friends don't know what the hell I'm on about. But yeah, like I keep saying, it's really a one way friendship, I give, she takes.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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Lisha
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 11:27am |
Man I wish that my friend was reading this.
What makes my situation hard is that she is also my sister in law... we were once best friends, then she goes and marries my brother! She has lost all lack of communication... so much easier to text than ring, and she has also become sooo secretive, never know what is going on now, only through my mum, makes me soo sad and angry all at the same time... blubbering now  \
All that I can say is that I wish that she didn't marry my brother as her sister married my oldest brother, and it is soooo hard at xmas as they are sooo clicky together...not looking forward to xmas this year.
Sorry for the rant!
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my4beauties
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 12:48pm |
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Lisha, that must really suck!! You'd hope that with her marrying into the family you'd be closer, not drift apart. I know people change over the years, but why so that it makes your friendship worthless?
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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Lisha
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 3:24pm |
You would think that we would be a very close knit family 
I have given up! Which makes it really sad
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 4:20pm |
Italiah wrote:
Well I'm glad that your friend isn't as bad as mine, Kelly. Cause it sucks when you have friends that don't pull their weight.
We have so much history in our friendship, and so many memories, she's one person I can talk to about things that happened years ago that she knows about and understands. Some newer friends don't know what the hell I'm on about. But yeah, like I keep saying, it's really a one way friendship, I give, she takes. |
Yeah , this friend and I (and really i should say her name because if my mother has read this thread she will know exactly who im talking about anyway ) have been friends since we were 5 , and went through everything , including pregnancies together.
Shes actually more like a sister than a friend, we have an unusual relationship .
But it sucks when friendships become a 1 way thing ,the end of a friendship, no matter what the friendship was like by the end , is still sad
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 09 December 2008 at 4:22pm |
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that really sucks Lish! as Italiah said you'd think it would make you guys closer...is this the same SIL that wanted the 100 limit on secret santa
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Grrr... little annoyed at friend...
