a bit of light relief

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   sorry if i offend anyone with this 

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I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1           I do physical labour

2           I work at great depths

3          I plunge head first into everything I do

4           I do not get weekends or holidays off

5          I work in a damp environment

6           I work in the dark with poor ventilation

7          I work in high temperatures

8           My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Yours sincerely

The Penis

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration has rejected your request for the following reasons:

1           You do not work for eight hours straight

2           You fall asleep after brief work periods

3           You do not always follow the orders of the management team

4           You do not stay in your designated area and can often be seen visiting other locations

5          You do not take initiative

6           You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

7          You leave the workplace messy at the end of each shift

8           You do not always observe the correct safety precautions such as wearing protective clothing

9           You will retire well before the age of 65

10           You are unable to work double shifts

11          You sometimes leave the workplace before the designated task has been completed to the managements satisfaction.

And if that wasn't enough you are often seen entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely

The Management