Kids at weddings - your thoughts

1. I am not running down my BIL or his wife to be about their decision behind their back to family members. Yes, my MIL has commented after I spoke to her because she asked if we were taking Charlotte along! Thats when the topic came up.

2. I agree, it is mainly limelight and I have already said that I will respect their decision so Char isn't coming. However, it doesn't stop me feeling the way I feel about her having to miss out. I didn't want her there for the whole thing, just half an hour to meet family after everything formal was over as we have to collect her from Newlands then drive past the venue on the way home again.

3. There is nothing happening the next day as they are all heading home (most are from out of town and are driving) so its not an option for us.

Sorry, I didn't mean for my post to sound as bitchy as it does! Just a subject that gets me all hot and bothered after my wedding! Also the guests asking why wasn't such and such invited and blah blah.
Your lil Char is so cute, i'm sure you could drag em all round for late brekky before they all leave, or even a brekky on the day maybe?

Sounds like you may be upset with some of our comments yet you asked for opinions on a subject that actually seems pretty cut and dry.

well then I dont know the set up etc but perhaps could you suggest going to a cafe or something while the party are having photos - or invite them back to your place OR bring bubba along for 30 mins while bridal party not there and ensure she is gone before they get back ??? I know our wedding our photos took 2.5 hours and some had drinkies etc at a cafe, others went out to venue, others got together at an apartment etc until the evening dinner so poss option there????

I can see why you would feel a bit bummed about not getting to take charlotte, but i guess as others have said you'll just have to respect her wishes since its her day.

Myself, when (ha, if!) i get married i want kids there, i love kids and i dont want to be the centre of attention anyway seriously, the thought freaks me out, all those people watching me walk down the aisle, if kids are there then they could distract them haha , and besides im not into the whole formal side of weddings, id rather get married on a beach and then have a bbq, like a big get together with all the people i love and since i only have a few friends with kids they can leave when they want, of course caitlyn will still be there, especially since the man i marry will in effect be marrying into her life too

while we are on the subject of weddings can i ask a quick question? why do the photos take so long? is it just photos or is there a lot more to it involved?
dont mind me, im just being nosey ....and sorry about the thread jacking

I definately agree there - and from even just looking and participating in the conversations on NZWP (Nz wedding planner) many many brides go through complete and utter agony over this very issue and feel sooooo bad about it, worried about what people will think, and always end up, not matter how politely and clearly the invites etc are worded about the "no kids please" thing - always have people wanting to add more to the guestlist, bring partners who you don't know and bring their kids "oh, just ours, surely it won't be that bad if it's just little so and so, why won't you make that exception, how mean are you, how rude is that that you don't want them included, they're part of the family.. blah blah blah" it's never ending. - but in the end, it does come down to firstly money, secondly, if you make 1 exception you get all the others getting pissed at you who didn't bring theirs - better to have 1 person annoyed cos you reminded them.. AGAIN at what your invite clearly said, than have goodness knows how many. Most of all though it comes down to making sure that their day is, well.... their day. And why not - mostly people only plan to get married once, it's the day lots of little girls dream of and to have it finally as a reality - why the heck shouldn't they have what they want.

I wouldn't take her, i wouldn't try and sneak her in while they're getting pics - doesn't matter if the bride's not there she'll find out and be just as pissed at you. It's one day/evening.. better to save your wee girl the distress of having to stay good and quiet through the whole thing, or of being picked up from the sitters introduced to heaps of people she doesn't know (scary for a 1 yr old) for half an hour then going through the separation anxiety of going back to sitters and you leaving again, or of being picked up at a time when she's tired and again.. being introduced to peoiple who at that point are not only strangers but probably very drunk strangers at that. Not great for her side of things either. Just something to think on

I stipulated for my wedding that no kids to the reception but the ceremony was just fine.
I would never go against anyones wishes on their day, now that I have a child of my own as well as being married. I can understand the anal and unrealistic tension on both sides and a lot of it is compromise.
As for your DD not being allowed to meet family, I would think it might be better for another day (30 mins will still piss her off and ruin their day because they are mad and it is their day). People are coming to see a wedding and see the bride and lavish attention on them, let her have a day of her own with them!
Maybe you should ring these people (or even talk to them at the reception) that you want to meet Charlotte and tell them that they are welcome to drop by on the way home to visit her or even put on a BBQ breakfast the next day and invite those extra special people. Put the ball in their court because if they really wanted to see her then they would make the effort.