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mummy_becks 
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 Topic: What would you do???
Posted: 04 March 2008 at 9:34pm |
This is my situation...
I'm 26, I have 2 children and I have servere endo and PCOS. I know I have been lucky enough to conceive 2 children naturally. I have a strong family history of endo and PCOS, my mum, her sisters, my sisters, my female cousins from my mum's sisters, if it could of been diagnosed when my nana and her sisters were younger they probably would have been diagnosed with it all too. However i'm at the point where I think I am ready to have all the girly bits removed as they are causing me so many problems and not have the 3rd baby I want.
I'm on the pill to stop bleeding but its not working. I'm sick of the pain that i'm getting as my uterus contracts to expel the blood. And i'm getting sick of taking pain killers to subside the horrible pain.
I know I have the blessing from my GP to have it all removed, he thinks it'l be better for me to have it all removed both physicially and mentally. And my gyne is also happy to do it as well, but he knows that I do want a 3rd child and thinks I should have it sooner rather than later; but I want to conceive this time next year.
So thats my situation, if it was you what would you do???
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 04 March 2008 at 9:36pm |
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Honestly? Do it now, and get it all over and done with. If you wait a year, you might get sick of the pain etc and give up on the #3 idea. Hugs to you.
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Rachael21
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Posted: 04 March 2008 at 9:36pm |
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I would hold off for a year and have that 3rd. Its not exactly something you can go back on. But then I'm not the one in pain so its easy for me to say.
Its the kinda thing you shouldn't do until your one million percent sure.
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MissAngel
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Posted: 04 March 2008 at 9:43pm |
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I dunno, I have a good mate in the same situation, and the pain she goes thru all the time just makes me think it's not worth it for her. I guess you're lucky cuz you have 2 kids already, but i'd seriously think about it - is the pain and bleeding worth it?
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yummymummy
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Posted: 04 March 2008 at 9:43pm |
If you def want 3rd then I'd go ahead now and get it over and done with 
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emz
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Posted: 04 March 2008 at 10:06pm |
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I feel for you Becks, I'm facing this dilemma too although I have great drugs to help the pain. Personally, I would wait and have #3 as you can't live with the 'what if' scenario. The other thing to consider is early menopause, although I know you probably don't care about that and just want the pain to go away as I do.
But yeah, I would have #3 and then make the decision. Once the girly bits are gone, they're gone.
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 04 March 2008 at 10:11pm |
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Hmmm having not been in this situation myself its hard for me to say what i think you should do...
But....if it was me, I would probably try for my 3rd now, then have your operation, because in a year anything could happen and you might regret not trying sooner?.
My friend has had problems for years with Endo etc and she has a nearly 2 year old now and she is in the same dilemma as you.
I guess you just have to do what feels right for you, deep down.
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Jennz
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 4:44am |
Maybe think of the scenarios- If you have the op - its successful and you are pain free, but no 3rd child - how do you think you would feel?
If you hold off, are in pain for the next year+ but conceive again naturally and have the third child- how do you think that would feel?
Orrrr if you hold off and then can't conceive or decide not to conceive so are in theory in pain for significantly longer than need be- how would that make you feel?
Basically are you more likely to regret not having a third child- or being in pain longer than you needed to be.
I'm not in pain so I can't say what I would do but from the view of someone who has no idea what you going through (and therefore my advice probably means nothing!  ) I think when you look back at your life you are far more likely to regret not trying for the third child than being in pain for longer.
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kebakat
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 9:54am |
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Whats Nigels thoughts on #3? (I'm sure you have told me but I can't remember hehe) I don't remember if he wants another or not.
If it were me I'd give up on the idea of #3, enjoy the boys and get it taken out. I know the drugs are kind of doing your head in and you would be better off physically and mentally if it was all sorted.
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 10:47am |
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if it were me and we were definately having a 3rd child, i most likely do it now. if you wait, there's the pain factor for another year, but also the fact it may be harder to conceive if you wait that extra time?? i'm not sure, have the dr's said it may take longer if you wait?
it also depends on your reasons why you want to wait....
best of luck with your decision becks
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 10:59am |
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Can you shift your plans for a 3rd child to sooner?
Like Sheza I have no idea what you're going through but I'll add my thoughts anyway. Someone said on a different stream that "..you regret the children you didn't have". The quotes out of context but worth thinking about anyway, if you have the op now would you (in future years) regret not having a 3rd child?
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ShellandBella
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 11:29am |
Having endo myself, I would definitely do it now. I'm even feeling a bit anxious myself waiting until Bella is a year old to TTC #2, but that is our situation - I just really hope we don't have any problems. But my OBGYN always said the only fix for endo is being pregnant or not having those 'bits'  .
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 11:32am |
 ShellandBella wrote:
my OBGYN always said the only fix for endo is being pregnant or not having those 'bits' . |
I didn't realise that. I thought it got scraped out (not sure of the medical term for that but my sister had the op before getting preg with #2) does it grow back again?
Also, apparently a gluten free diet can help with the pain. Not sure how much it helps but have you tried it?
Edited by The_Stuarts
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ShellandBella
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 11:40am |
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It sure does grow back, which is why so many people have to have multiple laparoscopies to get rid of it - it is all related to your menstrual cycles, so if you have no uterus, and no menstrual cycles it gets rid of it.
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 11:45am |
Oh, which is why pregnancy helps too.
So, anyone tried a gluten free diet to help with the pain? This article suggests 80% of women with endometriosis find their pain subsides when on a gluten free diet. endo article
Edited by The_Stuarts
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Maya
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 11:59am |
The_Stuarts wrote:
Someone said on a different stream that "..you regret the children you didn't have". The quotes out of context but worth thinking about anyway, if you have the op now would you (in future years) regret not having a 3rd child?
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LOL that was me, I read it in Little Treasures (of all places!) and it really hit home for me.
I am inclined to say have a third baby now. My mum always wanted six kids and had to have a hysterectomy at 36 coz her endo had progressed and she had precancerous fibroids, but she had only had 4 kids at that stage. I know she is content with her lot, and she loves us kids, but I also know she still has a bit of regret, and that she spent the years we were growing up looking into fostering/adopting/permanent placement to try and help her feel more complete.
The thing is, if you have baby #3 soonish, you will have a break from the pain for 9 months. And you can have the op any time after 6 weeks postpartum so you could schedule the op while you are still pregnant so that you have a date to look towards.
I'll say it again, I really do think you don't regret the kids you have, you regret the ones you don't have. If Iggle Piggle has taught me anything, there never is a "right" time to have a baby, but you make do with what you're given.
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The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Bombshell
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 12:17pm |
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have third that you want and then have total works done....
if you dont conceive number three in 6-12 months then you need to consider your options again. The pain is not worth it. **This coming from someone whose mum was a lot better to have round after total hystectomy at 28 following two kids, few MCs and bout of ovarian cancer, endo and loads of other *female* probs!!!
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 2:58pm |
I'm going to tell DH that we need to think of having that 3rd baby now. Hopefully i'll conceive very soon and this will be (apart form PP bleeding) the last time I bleed forever.
So now I don't know if I should chuck the pill now or wait until i've seen my gyne at the end of this month.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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busymum
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 7:11pm |
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Well I'm going thru this kind of stuff atm too. Thankfully the Pill is working ok for me but I think it's slowly getting worse despite it. But it's certainly manageable for now.
But remembering back that pain and helplessness of the situation you're in, that was enough to turn me almost crazy! I felt like my emotions were completely out of control and I was going to lose my mind. I found it very scary and unsettling, to say the least.
So... I'd have #3 now. Get pg before the end of the year, probably in the next 6mos tops. I don't know how practical that is atm and whether you have one more lap chance. That would be my next option (but then TTC asap after the lap).
But I'm half-minded to (in your shoes) say stuff it, that's as much as my body can take and if we still want a #3 next year I'm going to adopt a baby. But that's a very personal decision.
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What would you do???
