Do i write back?

Some of you may remember the post i wrote about my dad a couple of years back.
Last night his ex (Im assuming) added me on facebook. I hummed and haa'd over accepting her and have. She sent me a message and i dont know if i should even reply.

I closed the door on that along time ago, it took quite alot to come to terms with the fact my dad doesnt want to know me and now has a new life.

Im assuming shes the ex as her status is married and there is a gu thats not my father in the photo of her and my half sister.

Thats just it, i have another sister. Would you write back?
On one hand id love to, she would be around 9 from a guess and the first and last time i met her she was like a week old. I even remember her name. Kylah would have another aunty (I know its just a half).

The other hand is, do i want to open that door again? It hurt so bad the first time, what if im setting myself up for failure? Its been like 2 years since i first contacted him. What if i meet them and she says something and it all starts all over again?

This is probably the most jumbled post ever!

I agree, just sit on it and do what you feel is best. It's a pity you can't contact you sister directly instead of having to go through her mum, because blood is blood and I personally think relationships with siblings are important.

It is only Facebook, you can see what she's posting and decide if you want more from her.

Thanks guys.
Iv been thinking about it all day!

This is what she wrote

thanks for accepting my inquiry.
wasn't sure you would accept somehow.
You remember me?? we may have been on wrong foot at the time but I meant well, you know.
Your girl is so cute and scrummy. Lucky you to have a girl, boys are all arseholes!
reply for catch up

Hmmmmm
Is there anyway to hide the fact im online on facebook to her untill i can decide whether to reply or not?

I only want to hide from her though, not everyone?

Have you already accepted her friend request then? Just to clarify, so you are just wanting to hide your online status, not whether you are actually on facebook?

you have a couple of options...

you can remove her as a friend and thats the end of that...

or reply and say 'sorry i thought you were someone else" then delete her.

or reply to her and tell her the only reason you agreed to the friend request was because you wanted to see if you could have a relationship with your half sister, and is that something she would agree with.

IMHO she sounds like a nutcase (just from the message she sent you) and it might pay to be up front with her about your intentions... or if you only want to get to know your half sister then maybe wait till she is older and contact her direct.

I have accepted her friend request as i wanted to see if she had photos of my sister on there.

She sent me the message straight away.

I am thinking of just removing her. I always thought about my sister and what she was like, now iv seen her im thinking it might just be easier to wait a few more years untill shes old enough to make her own choice about whether or not she wants to know me. Does that seem mean?

I just dont want to meet up with her and have her talk about my father because i dont want to know anything.

I was hoping i could just change my status for her to offline.

Maybe i will sleep on it again tonight and decide what to do tomorrow

On Facebook you can make a friend "group" and set all the privacy settings so she can't see your status or wall posts or photos etc but you can still keep her as a friend in case you ever want to reply. Then when you go down to fb chat, you can "go offline" as far as a group is concerned so you can stop her seeing you that way.

other alternative is just keep the message in your inbox & remove her as a friend. That way you can always reply later on if you'd like and won't have to do a search.

Not that I know your situation, but I have a half sister who is a decade older than me, we had nothing to do with each other & their was heaps of parental induced resentment towards each other as kids. As adults we are friends, and we are very similar & it's nice having her around. She's not family like my other family, but a friend with blood ties that I can call up occasionally.

I just worry that she will hate me because i didnt want to know her, or didnt find her and make contact. I wonder if she even knows about me..

Thanks kmasonnz thats what i wanted to do!!