In praise of solo mothers

Okay, it's now time for Ask Dr. Liz (TM). this advice comes from experience and from regrets

First - talk to each other about what you want to happen BEFORE he leaves. It's funny,men seem to see home as "relaxing time", and no matter how much we say that being a sah mum is hard work, and they smile and nod, part of them still thinks their job is harder than that, andthat sahm spend most days lying on the couch watching Oprah. So that can be a problem. If your huby goes out to work and then comes home - that's "his time" to relax and you "nagging" him to help you encroahces on that. So i suggest talking about giving him his "own time", maybe to sit and read the newspaper, or watch TV for an hour or so, then he can give you the same thing, without bitching and moaning about it.
Another thing that may be difficult and I'm finding this now, Lewis feels like he's missing out on making decisions about the boys. So I email him and ask him what he thinks about things all the time - Should Jake drop a bottle, should Taine have a bath in the morning or night? little things like that that make him feel a part of the boys lives. Even when I've already decided what I'm going to do!
Webcams are brilliant for keeping in touch
If you can afford it, get a housekeeper. maybe only once a week or something, but you may need that extra pair of hands
Get some support - someone you can leave baby with, in an emergency, or just if you need a little time out.
get out of the house everyday. Even just taking a walk to the shops makes you feel good
Try to get dressedeveryday too.
Organise your hubby to take baby by himself at least once a week, for just a few hours if you are breastfeeding. Give yourself a litle time out. Also, when hubby is with baby, try not to tell him the "right way" of doing things. Guys hate this.

you cope Claire because you have to, but coming on Oh baby! if helpful for me, a little time out from the munchkins! I also suggest taking up a hobby - something you can do when bubs is asleep, something that is about YOU, rather than about you as a mum. Don't lose yourslef

Ooph, last tip - when your hubby is home, do a ton of cooking and freeze in individual portions, then you can have healthy meals while hubby is a way, cause guaranteed you won't be aresed cooking, and you REALLY need to eat well in order to breastfeed.