Expecting too much?

My brother lives in Sydney and has never met Sam, DPs brother lives in Christchurch and has never met Sam either. He is 16 months old now.   My brother usually asks how he is when he talks to my mum and so does DPs brother, but I guess because of the distance, and lack of funds, they've never been in the same place at one time. DPs sister has two little boys aged 2 and a half and 5, so we try to get the three of them together as much as possible, which has been maybe 6-7 times since Sam was born. My stepsister has a boy three months younger than Sam, and we very rarely see her. She helped me out a lot before her son was born, but he has a WHOLE lot of health problems so she's always in and out of hospital. I'd like to see them more often and help out but Sam is pretty full on, so it comes down to the odd occasional catch up.

I would like for them to make more effort as it seems like all of them only really see us if I make the arrangements or I call or I invite. Sad!

Oh yeah - and I rekon birthday's make us think about this more, and if you're like me, feel a little more dissapointed by it than normal. Personally, if my sis had a child and we live in the same town, I'd get to know that kid and get to know them well! I know it's my sister's loss, but actually it's Ella's loss too. So I can see where you're coming from feeling a bit tender about it, too.

I have a weird family too

My siblings are alright with my girls, one of my brothers is actually named as guardian in our Will. My DH has 3 siblings: 1st brother lives in the same town as us with two preschoolers. We get on ok but don't see each other much on account of being so busy. 2nd brother is married without kids, lives in Welly, but when they do come up (not often) they definitely put in an effort. 3rd sibling is a sister still in highschool, she seems not interested or too busy... or perhaps just doesn't know what to do? So I guess our siblings are probably roughly "normal".

On the other hand, my parents (who live 16km from us) barely know my kids. We haven't created any obstacles to that, I just don't think it has occurred to them to get to know anymore of our family than DH and me. But in saying that, they were like that for us as kids too.
DH's parents (same distance) are all over the show. If they are busy, we don't see them at all. If they aren't busy then MIL is alright - at least interested in the girls - and FIL is demanding - "come sit on my knee...or i'll be sad" etc when he hasn't even seen them for months.