At the risk of starting an argument....

Now, I haven't read may other replies so it has probably already been said a million times - but that is just wrong. The one thing that sticks with me is the part about only being a part time mum. At no point, do you ever stop being a full time mum, when you are working hard to meet a deadline, you are thinking about all the time you are missing with your child, when you are sitting at work, any time of the day, it's hard to stop yourself from thinking "i wonder what they're doing right now" wishing you could have a little window or bubblevision into the daycare.

Being a SAHM is hard, I have been there and done that after having Paris and when i am not in class, I also found that 1st year of her life the most incrediably lonely and isolated time in my entire life, 1 - because i didn't have a license, but also 2 & 3 - I had PND, and i was already shy and withdrawn anyway, so I really didn't go anywhere do anything, meet anyone, even when friends would suggest coming out to meet them, i would make an excuse.. with no reason to.

When i am not in class the kids usually are at home with me most of the time... and when they are sick (which is often at the mo) and we have been stuck at home for 2 weeks on end not going anywhere, with 2 grumpy kids all day, you still manage to look around and wonder how on earth you haven't managed to get anything done!

But being a working mum is hard too - obviously there's the emotional thing, as well as trying to ensure that not only do you get al ittle time for you, but time to spend QUALITY time with your kids, fit in work commitments (cos kids cannot be the excuse for everything.. especially if your boss is a prat)still do the housework in half the usual time and have a social life and time for your partner.

I think all mums work incrediably hard no matter what the circumstances are... Which is why our time on here together is so important. Even at the end of a long day - i still find i need time on here to nut things out, relax and reassure myself i'm not alone.

Paris has been great with talking all along but for her Daycare increased her confidence, she used to scream at strangers, especially men, if they even entered the room she was in. I was so proud yesterday, with 20 kids and many more adults at her birthday party and she was happily stopping to chat and have conversations with the parents.. alot of which were the dad's that brought their kiddies (daycare daddies, as mummy was working). For us daycare has been great in that aspect.

A while ago i did say to mike that never would i recommend anyone putting their kiddie straight into daycare in the first year. But that was when i had been sleep dprived for a week or so, both kids were sick - i must say that Ayja has been the exception and i was just so very angry that for the first 3 months of her life she was a great sleeper, a settled baby, slept and fed a dream and was so easygoing - i do know that once she started daycare it was not all about her, and so her routine had to be fitted in with the other kiddies which meant she was often kept up too long, possibly not fed right on her feed times, got overstimulated and overtired, wouldn't settle, and here we are at 14 months with a kiddie that has times where she sleeps like a dream and others where she will wake more times during the night than a newborn baby! lol so yes, as a working mum i feel i do just as much work as a SAHM..I have all the re-programming to undo some of the negative aspects of daycare.

I always thought i would be a SAHM, i really did, but things didn't work out that way, and i still feel so bad, everyday that i leave my girls at daycare, but they need that time away from me - they are both independant fiery wee girls and it has done them good. I would love to have some set hours so i could at least have them at home with us alot more often, but the one thing i can bet on is, because my new job is 0.8, which means i work 8 days a fornight, I will at least have 6 days at home with them.. be it a weekend, a weekday, and it may not be all in a row - but right now that's 2 more days than i had with them while i was studying.

Eveyone's entitled to their opinions, but sometimes it's best to keep them in check and be a little sensitive - alot of use HAVE to work, CHoose to work, or even LIKe to work... and for those who don't the job is just as hard, the day is just as long, and we are all good mothers no matter which way you look at it.

Well said though

I agree...well said!

Well said Janine...I so agree.
I agree about how you think about your child during the day. I have a photo of Zaara on my desk and keep looking at it during the day. I call her 2-3 times a day and talk to her as well as go home to see her at lunch. I also talked to the day care place about coming over at lunch to feed her and they said it is fine!!

You never stop being a mum!!! For example, I was glad to come to work today because be had a rough weekend. Zaara is teething and its hard...She finally fell asleep at 1am last night.....I am sooo tired but now that I am at work, I miss her little face and her smile...and cant wait to go home!

Thanks everyone - it's really reassuring to hear what you all have to say. I dont have a lot of points of reference for this kind of stuff, 99% of my friends dont have kids and they all work, so really these kinds of decisions or topics dont often come up in conversation. Its good to know there are people out there with kids that think it is ok to work too - not that I would base my life on what other people say but like I said, it helps to have the opinions of others just so that I know I am not totally alone in this - your cooments are much appreciated, each and every post!

it can be the hardest time in the world when you are the first of your friends to have a baby. They dont understand that you cant just drop everything and go, lazy days drinking are no longer an option, and you get really ticked off when they cancel on you at the last minute - because you have a baby sitter all lined up and now there is no need!!!!
But those that are important to you, you will make time for, and you will definately make friends with people who are in the same stage of life as you - family, young kids etc.
if anything, i sometimes feel for dh, he hasnt had the oppertunity to meet guys in his position, like i have been able to meet other mums, and he has drifted away from alot of his mates. he doesnt complain, as he is such a family guy, but i sometimes think he must miss just going out for a beer now and then....
oops, OT :)

hope you are feeling better about the decision you have made frantic, most people are pretty understanding about going back to work, and those that arent dont get out enough!

Yeah I have been finding it a bit hard that I am pretty much the only one in my circle of friends to being even close to having a baby - I am not particularly young (28) so I'm not sure how thats happened, but anyway thats the way it is... I will meet other mums soon I am sure, till then I always have you lovely ladies to bounce ideas off which is great!

I saw it and was really disgusted.

"Chidren in daycare? Are you kids "missing OUt"...as if working mums don't feel guilty enough without some crap about how kids who go to daycare miss out on mum and dad attention.
the report itself wasn't too bad, but the questin is just so leadning and annoying.

I think we should all text NO to 2121....

I didnt see the report but was wondering what that text ad was talking about!! Hmmmm....

Thanks for sharing you expereince popsicle - it's very reassuring that for you it was the right choice!