How to bring up the topic with DH

DH and I decided no trying for kids while I had a few problems with my cervix (a couple of adnormal smears) which I was totally fine with because I didn't want to find out something really needed to be done and couldn't be done if I was preggers. OK so now I've been given the all clear but still have to have more regular check ups than most people which is fair enough since I've had a problem in the past. We have also just moved into a new home. It's huge compared with our last one and the mortgage is only a little bigger than our last one as well. We are paying off way more than the minimum amount to try and get it down as much as possible.

I think DH has got used to the idea that it was just going to be us for now as we were both under the impression from my specialist that kids would be off limits for a lot longer but that's not the case now.

So I'm really clucky and have thought about this a lot recently and in a lot of detail and I would really love to start trying seriously but I'm not totally sure about how to approach the subject again...

DH also has these worries about when the time comes to be the "bread winner" of the family and being the only income earner for a while. I understand these worries but they will be amplified now that we have a slightly bigger mortgage.

Any ideas about how I can bring this topic up gently?



Edited by kebakat

I know that we will be eligable for working for families. Though it won't be a huge amount but every little bit helps. As for the work bonus, I'd never heard of that before!!

I've looked on websites like IRD and all them before but I end up clicking links and going round in circles!! Grrr very frustrating!

But thanks Janine!

We are paying off as much of our mortgage as the bank will let us as that means thats less interest we have to pay on our mortgage which works out better for us in the long run (that way we are paying more of our mortgage rather than mostly interest). We still have a surplus of money availble and I'm in the process of working out how much per week we could put away into our high interest savings. I've just been watching our account for a couple of weeks to see what effect our increased mortgage payements are going to really have on us (as we have only been at our new place for a couple of weeks).

The bank confirmed for us that when the time came to have kids that we could reduce our payements down to the bare minimum (about 2/3rds of what we are paying now) which will be more easily manageable for us on one income if we pay more off now.

Hey Stacey there is another option with your mortgage - you can get a mortgage holiday. Basically the bank suspends your payments for 3 months, I am pretty sure all banks do it... and it makes a huge difference knowing that the first 3 months of bubs life you dont have any mortgage to pay... all they do is add that 3 months on to the end of your term - so for eg instead of paying it off in 25 years you pay it offi n 25 years and 3 months... not too bad at all and such a relief!

If I were you I would just be straight with your dh... I was thinking similar to you that my dh wanted more time before we had kids, but when I finally asked him the question he said that he had been indicating that cos he thought I wanted to wait and he didnt want to put pressure on me...and that he was ready to start when I was (ofcourse the idea of practising always appelas to men doesnt it LOL....)... you may be surprised (I WAS!)... but at least you will know where he stands on the issue...

As for maybe getting a suprise reaction from DH like you did frantic. I don't think DH will really truely expect it. As after we found out about my problems down yonder we put together a "plan" for the next couple of years so he won't really expect me to pop out with "hunny how do you feel about having kiddies now?" hehe because he's expecting me to ask that in a couple of years.. I think.. but then again who knows, he may surprise the heck outta me.

After thinking a little more about it, I'll gather some facts for him first about where we can get money from the govt and where we can save money etc. And go into the conversation totally prepared to help settle his money worries so that hopefully won't play so much of a factor in his mind.

Hmm maybe a massage to relax him first?!? hehehe

lol I'm afraid that I'm usually more sleepy than him after "the deed"

and grandparents to get the good stuff, and trademe to get the others!