Adoption

we're currently in the process of getting Mikey adopted by DP as his biological father lives in australia, is not a very nice person and has had minimal contact with him, even when he lived 20 minutes away from us. my reasons for doing this is so that if something happens to me then i know that Mikey will stay with the family he knows and his life won't be completely uprooted.
just to be clear though, i never want to take Mikey's father away from him, i still would like them to have a relationship because they both have that right, this is just about Mikey's security.
since we started the proceedings, his biological father has suddenly started paying all his child support payments on time and he sent mikey both a birthday and a xmas present which makes me think, am i doing the right thing here? he seems to think i'm ruining mikey's life by doing this and that mikey will hate me when he's older.
what does everyone here think?

oh DP's family absolutely loves Mikey, he'd rather be at my in-law's place than at home lol.
they've been really welcoming and never made a distinction between maia (related by blood) and mikey. I'm really lucky.

basically i've had to go to a lawyer and together we've written up an affidavit basically stating that DP and i are in a committed relationship and plan on staying that way and we want to provide mikey with a stable home environment to grow up in.
this will then get sent to the courts who i think will then send it on to mikey's biological father. there's a whole big process to go to and mikey will be interviewed at some point i think by someone to make sure that we are a stable family.
the father does have to sign the papers and that is basically signing over guardianship to DP. this means that he no longer has to pay child support but he is also giving up his parental rights. that's not to say he's not allowed to have a relationship with his son but if something happens to me, mikey would go to DP rather than him, and legally DP would be considered his father.

DP and i are not married, that's not a requirement and we're not sure if we're going to change mikey's name yet.

Edited by ellabellame

BuzzyBee wrote: Interesting to read the above, much of a similar situation to us. My partner has taken on my son as if he was his own and his parents/brother and entire family have welcomed DS and I with open arms. DS has nothing to do with his biological father who is also in Aussie and refusing to acknowledge the fact that he fathered a child. When we get married we will look at all our options, but i definitely would consider letting him adopt my boy as he is AMAZING with him, and i know he'd always put that boy first and foremost, in the event of anything happening to me...

wow we have almost identical situations! apart from the fact that in my case the biological father SAYS he wants to be a dad but his actions speak otherwise.
good luck with whatever you decide to do.

that is tricky, have you ever thought about getting guardianship for your husband? that's not quite as legally binding as adoption but in the event of your death, caitlyn would go to him unless her biological father fought it through the courts and then they would decide who gets custody.