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escadachic 
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Joined: 15 May 2009
Location: Wainuiomata
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 Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:39pm |
 lilfatty wrote:
Does he not get to watch TV either? There are beautiful bodies everywhere, and I find it highly unlikely that your partner doesnt notice one when it walks past. |
Yes he gets to watch t.v. And I just hope he doesn't pay much attention to any observation of the fact that a chick has a hot body. Anyway, I did say I was insecure. I can't stop him from observing people who pass. But thankfully I don't notice him, noticing any hot chicks. Whether he notices them or not I do not know. But he's not obviously doing it, so I can't get annoyed if I don't notice it. Anyway, maybe other chicks being percieved as hot by him isn't the issue. It's more I feel threathened by people who have been blessed with good looks and a hot body. Even when I am slim and people notice me, I never see myself as worthy of it. Yes I have self esteem issues obviously.
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Nikki
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Joined: 02 October 2003
Location: West Auckland
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Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:43pm |
Hey MissAngel, I hope things have settled down for you now, and all is well again. did he end up going to the nudie bar?
I don't think it matters so much what other people think is OK in their relationships, but if for you right now it is not OK, then he should respect that I think. and if him going / lying is upsetting you then thats not right (IMO).
Slapping / verbal abuse / the no sex comment etc are all not acceptable behaviour - but we all (whether we admit it or not) do things we're not proud of in the heat of the moment, and I don't think your post was asking for comment on that behaviour or your relationship, so I won't say anything else there.
As for me - I don't mind him going, but he only goes for stag dos etc and I wouldn't be happy with a lapdance, but he wouldn't get one as he doesn't think thats right when you're with someone (hes probably more anti than me). But if he wanted to go often / wanted lapdances, I wouldn't be very happy either. Especially when I was pregnant!!!
And as for the dancers - one of DHs best mates met his wife at showgirls when she was dancing, and he knows others who have met girlfriends that way - so not all dancers aren't looking at the men, I'm sorry to say!
Big hugs. try to remember that things seem alot worse when you're hormonal (I had some major outburts when pg!) ... take care 
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DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
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MindyW
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:24pm |
MissAngel I hope you and your DH have got everything sorted out and your both ok
I dont much like my DH looking at other women but that has more to do with my insecurities than not trusting him. DH has been to one strip club for his bachelors party but I think he was too drunk to see anything- clearly at least  I would put my feelings across and let him make the decision, its really not up to me to choose for him. And pole dancing (I have only seen it on TV) looks incredibly hard and you'd need to be awfully strong to be able to do it!
I can say though that I'm pretty disappointed that someone would ask for advice and then get dumped on, I dont agree with violence but unfortunately we are human and prone to making mistakes- I hope that it was at least a once-off and MissAngel and her DH have a chance to work it out because I'm sure she will be feeling bad enough as it is! 
Edited by MindyW
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My Beautiful Little Emily
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Raspberryjam
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:25pm |
Escadachic, whether you are beautifulor not, he is your partner, he has chosen to bare children with you, and should love cherish and respect you.
Every woman has issues about a bit of their bod, hot or not, but if you self esteem issues he should be even more attentive to your needs , especially right now, I know its hard work anfter having a babe.
I hope your ok hun
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MindyW
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:31pm |
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Also when I was at Uni there was a girl inmy class who was a stripper and she was the loviest girl. She managed to complete her degree without a student loan or debt and bringing up her beautiful little boy who was well looked after, happy and healthy little boy who was completely unaware of his mums job.
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My Beautiful Little Emily
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Raspberryjam
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 2:53pm |
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ps I would have slapped him too, and kicked is ar*e as well!!
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MissAngel
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 9:29pm |
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wow, the thread got real big real quick didnt it.
Okay, so he didnt go, once my sister came back from catching up with a friend and discovered me in tears, husband in a right sh*t and BIL trying to convince him to go out, she pretty much laid down the law to them both. As much as my sister annoys the crap out of me sometimes, she's brilliant at defusing bad situations. She made her BF (my BIL) sleep in the back of the car (lol) for egging hubby on and made hubby appologise to me for not being understanding. I appologised for slapping him, but he said he totally deserved it. We had a really good talk about exactly why I didnt want him to go and he's promised to try and think a bit more before he jumps to anything rash.
As far as the no sex goes - I have zero libido. In fact the thought of having sex makes me feel physically ill at the moment. Everything hurts, I dont want to be touched in that way and unfortunatly (i hate you hormones) thats going to be the way it is until these hormones settle down.
Thanks to the kind words from those who said them, I appreciate it.
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Alex, Thomas and Lily 
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 9:42pm |
Im glad you talked and your feeling a bit better , thats the most important thing 
(and yeah , hormones suck , damn you hormones !!! )
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kiwisj
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Posted: 11 January 2010 at 11:22pm |
Ohhhh yay for your sister and yay that the two of you talked things through and apologised to each other.
Stupid hormones!
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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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MindyW
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Posted: 12 January 2010 at 12:06am |
thats great MissAngel! Stoked that its all sorted, maybe your sister could come to our house and defuse some of our disaggreements
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My Beautiful Little Emily
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LittleBug
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Posted: 12 January 2010 at 12:31am |
So glad that your hubby respected your wishes and didn't go, and that you had the chance to talk things over and that he's understanding
I had zero libido with my pregnancies as well, could count on one hand the number of times that poor DH got any, in that time! Oh well, making up for it now (TMI). After seeing everything I had to go through to have our babies, he said it was least he could do  which I think was a fair statement!
Hang in there chicky, hope the hormonal changes go a bit easier on you! (Hormones do a lot of wonderful things, but also a lot of really crappy things)  
Hugs
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Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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X
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Posted: 12 January 2010 at 8:25am |
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Glad the situation got sorted out Missangel.
Don't feel bad-I have zero libido too. The LAST thing I feel like is sex. I try make the effort every few weeks though (just so DH doesn't feel too abandoned). It's hard though. Luckily DH has been very understanding. Hell, we're going through a lot & we shouldn't have to worry about DH's sexual needs. Big hugs to you.
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Nikki
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Posted: 12 January 2010 at 10:11am |
So glad to hear its all sorted now.
My libido was fine by halfway thru the pregnancies, but by that point dh was put off, so he held out on me! To be honest I was so huge with Morgan that I may not have been much fun anyway! Then since Morgan's been out I've had no drive, so its the other way around .... I think its pretty normal to go through a dry spell or two at this stage in a relationship.
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DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
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sunnyhoney
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Posted: 12 January 2010 at 11:53am |
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Yay that is awesome to hear Missangel. I'm very happy to hear you got things sorted out
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Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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Raspberryjam
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Posted: 12 January 2010 at 9:47pm |
Thats fantastic Hun, Im so glad this has a happy ending 
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