Feeling pretty bad tonight!

Ok, so a while ago I posted and said that I'd met a wonderful guy and that everything was great. Everything was great! Until I started to think about Sam's dad. I tried not to, I tried to forget about him and just move on. It has gotten really bad over the last couple of weeks so I decided to end things with the new boyfriend. I realised that I was thinking about my ex not because I wanted to get back together with him but because I didn't end things properly, I have a whole heap of baggage that I need to sort out in my head and I am definately not ready for a relationship! I decided that I need to concentrate on feeling better about myself and spending time with my son. I wasn't having enough time to myself, after spending the whole day with Sam I was trying to work on this new relationship. So to be fair on Gavin I decided to end things. Maybe I could have tried harder, maybe we could have made it work because we got on really well together but to be honest, the sex was DISMAL! I don't want to be cruel and TMI but 10 seconds of sex with a tiny penis is not satisfying and I don't think it would get better over time.

So all things considered I have spent the last three days being completely honest with him, talking through things and letting him down gently. I figure it's like a bandaid, I should rip it now and get it over with. It would be far worse if I had let things spiral out of control and resent him and complicate things more.   We've only been together for TWO MONTHS!

So last night was (from what I thought) the end of things. (We have moved in together, which was a HUGE mistake) I made it perfectly clear (from what I thought) that it was over and we had problems that I didn't feel we were able to overcome, I still had feelings for my ex who happens to be the father of my child, and I didn't think I could overcome the issues in my head if we were still together. I thought I was being fair, honest and straight-up. Gavin seemed like a great, rational upstanding kinda guy.

Well...

He cannot accept it. After four hours of me breaking up with him he asked 'Do you think maybe I should spend more time with my friends to give you a break'. And when breaking up with him a bit more he got to 'Do you think I should stay with some friends for a little while until you sort some things out'. He has repeatedly said that any problems I feel we have, we can overcome and he doesn't mind working things out. He has exhausted every possible avenue and still will not accept that I have ended things. He has gone to stay with friends because he is becoming very clingy and irrational. He has texted me a good 25 times in the past three hours, drove back around to ask if there was anything he could do to make me change my mind and then cried and swore and went mental!

I know it hurts him, but I have Sam to consider and I believe I have done the right thing.

So yeah, sorry this is a huuuuuuuuge novel, but I needed to get it out!

Thanks for reading.. if you still are!

Wow that is a lot to take in, aren't clingy males annoying? Let alone one that doesn't get the message LOUD AND CLEAR that you want out of that relationship!

One thing I've learnt from reading your post, never let a man move in so early on in a relationship.

Hope it all works out for you, I have no advice to give as I'm ignorant when it comes to relationships as I haven't really ever been in one LOL!

Take care of yourself & Sam ...

I can say although my partner has a penis that I wouldn't want any larger, I still prefer the "hands on" approach... so maybe there is something you could work out there??? I dated a guy with a tiny... one once, but I was 15, and he was 21, so there wasn't any sex happening (don't ask me how I know it was tiny!) real pity as he had a seriously gorgeous body, and a yummy accent (russian) to boot

Turn off your phone, go to sleep and ignore him

Yeah and lock the doors LOL! ...I guess if he really doesn't get the msg, you can change the locks!

But in all seriousness, I understand where you're coming from regarding the sex/physical aspect of a relationship being slightly important. You have to connect, emotionally & physically for it to work.

Best of luck to you & as Mazzy pointed out above, very mature and wise move to shift the focus to you & your son!

Oh man, Renee that really sucks for you!
You really don't need that drama after all that you've been through chick
I wish I could give you some suggestions to help with it all, but I'll send you some ((hugs)) at the moment instead.

I have to say, you're awesome Renee! Lots of girls wouldn't have the courage to sort things out and put their families first like you are. I really, truly admire you for that.
I hope Gavin settles down and gets the message, don't let him emotionally blackmail you. XX

I can kind of relate to where you are coming from. . I'm no longer with Arabellas father and know I have a lot of baggage and issues to sort out within myself before I get in another relationship.

I think you have made the right decision and sucks that he isn't listening. .

Renee, he is obsessed. I have been witth a guy EXACTLY like that. Funny when i was reading your post i was hping you were not going to say his name was scott. I didnt move in with him but he was at my house everyday. He text me about 30times a day and called about 30 times too! If i didnt answer he would come around. In the end i told him it ws over and thats when it got out of control. The texting turned nasty and the calls were even worse. I dont want that to happen to you. Make him get it, loud and clear.

Hugs to you. But if you know thats what you want then good on you!