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my2angels 
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 Posted: 24 January 2007 at 9:11am |
I dont know how to do that little such and such wrote box thing but Kelpa when you said 'What would you do if Glenn (or add your DH/DP here) wasnt there'
for me thats not really the problem, dont get me wrong if he died or something i would be devastated but i know it can live on my own, in fact sometimes i think it would be easier and thats part of the problem, and possibly the same for other ladies on here. Its not that we cant do anything without them, more that when your told 'i'll be home at 6pm' and 7pm rolls around its really really frustrating and I know i start getting really annoyed. By the end of the day Im really looking forward to spending some adult time with my husband and doing the whole tea bath and bed routine every night by yourself when you've also had to do the breakfast and dressed for the day routine by yourself cos they've gone before the kids gets up gets a little tiring. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier being a single parent and then you only rely on yourself, know you have to do it all anyway and that way your not disappointed every day. Man thats a big ramble isnt it, hope it makes sense. Oh and i do love my husband..... honest. 
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Kelpa
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Posted: 24 January 2007 at 9:13pm |
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I guess what I was trying to say is that it is good to get to a stage where if something "were" to happen (as lets face it lots of things could happen in reality - not meaning to sound pessimistic or anything).
I was sure when I first married that he was the be all and end all and I would live forever after with him and have many babies and we were the so called "perfect-match"..and we slowly drifted apart after Paige was born!!!I would have been the first to say I hated him doing the whole rugby all day stint - then the studying stint, then the work til late stint!
I think you have got to have enough confidence, motivation and have enough "other stuff" in your life inc friends - family etc to be able to survive and get on with it all? Surely???
As personally I kind of look at it that IF your life revolves around someone and you watch the clock to see when they get home - and are not happy them having "their time" well thats not much of a "full" life????And at some stage that could get a bit annoying for the other partner or cause problems???
I have lots of times when Mark is late and doesnt get home til 8 or 9 at night or is gone at 4am in the morning or is staying away down the line for a few days. Used to really get annoyed but I look at it now as a good time to have "me" time after kids are asleep..ring friends..play on here...do some Art - HAVE FUN!
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my2angels
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Posted: 24 January 2007 at 9:36pm |
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Yep thats all very true and tell ya what, after 12 years together Im definately happy for some me time but for me that always involves being home with the kids because he is out late working or playing cricket. It would be totally different if i got some me time out of the house. Until recently hubby has always worked nights so i havent been able to go out and do anything. When Kobe came along that was the end of my indoor netball which i used to play about 3 times a week while hubby was at work. now Im basically tied to the house yet he gets to go and do his cricket, by the time he gets home from work its to late for me to go out and do a course or something and i cant be reliable anyway cos i never know what time he is going to be home. But I told him last night I am going to do a sign language course on a monday night and he has to be home in time for me to go no matter what, will be interesting to see what happens.
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miss
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Posted: 24 January 2007 at 10:27pm |
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Good luck with that My2angels.
I find these conversations really interesting and helpful, as it brings up things that I can discuss with DH before we get there. He will continue to play cricket once bubs is here (I don't want him to stop), but I feel that because of some of the points you guys have brought up, he is more aware of how things might be for me.
Well, I hope so anyway! So thanks for being so open and honest everyone!
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Kelpa
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Posted: 25 January 2007 at 12:44pm |
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Hmmm yes would be nice to be able to go out and have set nights to do bits and pieces and I know it will come eventually again but I guess thats what we have to "sacrifice" when being Mums!! BUT in saying that..as the kids get older...you get more time and it all comes back.
Also with saying that your hubby still gets to go to cricket..Well without sounding like a Mother HEN..he obviously works hard??? And provides for you & kids....so my thinking and in our case..If I didnt "allow" (well its no like that but you know what I mean) Mark to go have his time - Im sure he would get really resentful and hate coming home - I think its very important for men to have time out - somewhat more than women!!
Looking after kids is not TOOOOOOO bad or hard really is it! I know there are sleepless nights and all that but I would rather be at home than working!!!
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my2angels
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Posted: 25 January 2007 at 4:43pm |
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Im probably more of an equal opportunities thinker. He wanted kids as much as i did and i do still work, and he gets his washing done, to eat lunch in peace every day, tea on the table every night so surely i should be entitled to one night off a week. and i was more trying to say its so annoying that life is so effected by his work which to me should come second to family, well within reason of course, i know one of us has to work.
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Maya
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Posted: 25 January 2007 at 6:19pm |
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I get where you're coming from Robyn. Willie leaves for work at 4am 6 days a week, and 5 of those days he's not home till after 5pm so I'm pretty mcuh a single mum during the week. I do get my own back on a Sunday tho - it's fmaily day no matter what else comes up.
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my2angels
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Posted: 25 January 2007 at 7:53pm |
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lol Im the same Emma, Sunday is strictly family day for us too although half the time hubby is so tired from a busy week he doesnt really want to do anything.
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HELP! I need to talk
