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Forum LockedSad and mad all at the same time
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james View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 7255 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2008 at 4:15pm
happy brithday dear wee girl

kels im so sorry this is happingi,m relly not looking forward to the day james asks big big hugs
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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FionaS View Drop Down
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Joined: 17 April 2007
Location: Auckland
Points: 5117 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2008 at 4:28pm
Argh, posted a long reply but then internet disconnected!!

Happy Birthday!

I too grew up in a similar situation. My Mum and dad divorced when I was 4 and the last time I saw my Dad was when I was 7...he never showed up after that. I remember the odd moment of sadness as a child BUT I have no such feelings now. I have no sadness, resentment, anger...nothing. I do feel sorry for him as I feel any man who stops seeing his kids must be a very hurting person on the inside. I'm incapable of holding grudges and I know not everyone is the same but I feel I received everything I needed from my Mum as a child. Rest assured that it is possible that she won't carry this hurt forever and this whole situation may even strengthen her as a person in the long term.

Hugs for today.
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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Kels View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Lower Hutt
Points: 11520 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2008 at 8:48pm

Thankyou everyone for your well wishes. I too was only brought up by my mum as my dad left when I was 5mths old. I feel I never missed out and didnt really care that he wasnt around as when he was I was soooo scared of him.

Mercedes tho was a daddies girl right up until I had Alize and we broke up. SHe has cried many tears for him and went thru a really bad patch fretting for him. REcently she had settled down but I guess special times like birthdays and christmas stir up the feelings she has for him. Ihave never  bad mouthed him but I also refuse to lie and make excuses for him like I have in the past.

Other than that she has had a great day and I even made her a pretty pink love heart cake! (I dont/cant  bake so that was a challenge) she is now watching hairspray for the 4th time today lol.


Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Jennz View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jennz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2008 at 8:55pm
Happy Birthday!
That is just so sad I told my DH and he was furious! He told me to ask you if you want him to go around and have a 'talk' to him (considering we live on the other side of the world and hes a pasty scrawny accountant I totally understand you not taking him up on the offer!)

I grew up with a Dad who was terrible at keeping promises- still haven't got that trip to Disneyland lol! I honestly think as heartbreaking as it is, its a lesson that she will learn on her own. Mum said it was just awful watching me get my hopes up each time just to be let down. But no matter how much she warned me I still got hurt each and every time. It wasn't until I was 16 and got a 1982 Toyota Starlet instead of the brand new MR2 I had been promised that I finally realised he couldn't be trusted to come through (ridiculous thing was that I would have been rapt with the car if he hadn't promised the other one first). Was a tough lesson for both of us- especially as he really had to step up to the plate at that point if he wanted to be a part of my life. He did and we are ok now. Hopefully they can do the same at some point
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3

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AnnC View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
Points: 6796 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AnnC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2008 at 9:05pm
kels big hugs for Mercedes and you cause it is heart breaking to see your kids go through it and theres nothing but to be there for you kids to pick up the peices time and time again. Your girls and alize are a reflection of you as they are lovely kids (I can say this whole heartedly as I have met them IRL)

Mercedes unfortunately will have her bubble burst a few more time by her dad. Brooke has been thru what Mercedes is going thru now. Brooke has wised up to her dad BUT I am sure if he waltzed into her life again she would get the high hopes again only to be squashed as soon as he feels like it(granted he does always send birthday and christmas presents but she hasnt seen him in nearly 3 years)

So once again give Mercedes a huge hug for her birthday from me and an extra special one for the dissapointment in her dad...

Ann


Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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