Tips for dealing with tricky in laws...

I'm thankful that my Inlaws are in Auckland, neither drive & they wasted all their money so can't afford to come down & see us.

I am now getting to the point of being rude on the phone when SHE (MIL) rings up wanting to speak to DH and then vents at me. I don't play into any of her crap anymore & I tell her straight. I used to be nice & polite but that never helped. If she's on the phone to DH she never asks after me so why should I bother.

It's been a long build up to get to this point but after one vent to many I'm beyond it. I'll be nice in person & bite my tongue somewhat but that doesn't get tested very often.

So in summing up (had a crap day) avoidance is the best way of dealing with them

I don't say anything anymore. I answer their questions about the kids, and when they ask how I am I say fine - that's it. I smile politely and just don't get into any in depth conversations with them.

I can't really do much about the nasty things they say though. I go to visit them with DH, for DH.

Last week we went to visit.. I walked into their lounge and said gidday, walked past DH's Grandad and he yelled "Hey - who's are those funny legs?" I said "Exuse me?" He said "Stand up, show everyone those funny legs" I was almost in tears. DH did make a comment to him that he had big tree stump legs but it didn't make me feel any better. Losers! I already have a complex about my legs as it is!

Avoidance. When we are around them and things are getting awkward, I bail and take a few deep breaths somewhere, LOL.

When less-than-sensible advice is offered or they tell me how I should be raising my kids differently, I just smile and say, "yeah I've heard of someone else doing that too..." and brush it off. If they persist then I say something like "that's something to think about. DH and I decided to do it this way, because...". They can't keep pushing if you have promised to think about it

I'm pretty lucky that I get on with my IL's most of the time... and in general DH wants about as much to do with them as I do!

DH's BIL is tough to be around... I've just learnt to say no and politely refuse when he puts the pressure on for stuff and ignore his insults and jibes.

Not in-laws but my parents have been stopping with us, from the UK too, for the last 2 months. Nod and smile worked for a couple of weeks, but I was going to explode in the build up to Xmas, so something had to give. As with Fay, i gave them very clear guidelines of Fay's routine, my routine and boundaries, after a few teething problems things have been a lot more stress free in the last 6 weeks. I intend to do the same with the out-laws when we go to the UK in June now. Why i ever thought of it sooner i will never know.

so to sum up I set consistent ground rules for them and when it was understood that I was in charge with these things no more problems, so I guess treat the olds like toddlers and you will have no problems

Edited by Redbedrock

INlaws are amazing eh!

well have a MIL visit coming up in about a months time. From the the Uk for a month, bringing her new man :0 lucky enough DH told them we didn't have enough room for them to stay with us this time, we don't and we work from home so 24/7 in each other's pockets is not a good thing. Wonder what the first comments will be.

Last time it was how fat we both had gotten, on the first night too! lovely eh!!

alcohol usually helps but can't this time as BFeeding, i guess DD will keep her distracted!

disco