Step families

I have a SD who is now 14 and 3 SS's aged 26, 22 and 18. None of them live with us now, but my SD did when I first had Maya. It was really tough, but then we had a fairly strained relationship from very early on, she resented me etc. etc. I did try to involve her in the pregnancy by taking her to scans etc. and she gets on well with Maya which is a good thing. My SS's are mostly indifferent, they love the girls (altho none of them have met the gremlins) but they're not really interested either way coz they're older and have their own lives, and one has a baby on the way of his own.

I met my husband when Kiya was 6 months old, and we have been married for 3.5 years now. We have the advantage that Nat is the only "Daddy" Kiya has ever known, but she does understand that she is not his biological daughter.

See here for my story, and see here for Nat's perspective

I think it depends on your family dynamic.
I'm from a blended family and I love it. My stepmum is a lovely person who is so caring she will always have a special place in my heart.
Unfortunately my brother did not hold the same views as me, he was a teenager (where I was just encroaching on becoming a teenager) when Dad met my SM and so he never got it at all. Very loyal to my mum but he did try, I think they just never got each other.
SM sees things from a loving nurturing point of view and is very much a woman, very touchy feely mother earth type, very womanly the polar opposite of my Mum. And my brother is a lot like my Mum so didn't understand her at all.
He was pretty upset when my SM conceived my little sister at 41, he even pulled out phrases like "Grow up!" and "You're too old!". They had been trying for ages and had actually given up when they got pregnant so they were pretty upset by his lash out of anger which is really sad. My brother has never bonded with my youngest sister and I think that it is fair to say that he has never bonded with any of my step siblings. I am not his biggest fan either, don't get me wrong, I love him but I just guess I don't understand him like the rest of my step family.
So anyways, my reaction and my Step brother/sisters reactions were great. I was really excited for SM and I love my little sister so much, she really is a blessing and so lovely.
I think my advice would be to talk it through with them and let them get their heads around it a little first. Talk to them about any concerns that they have and maybe build on that.
We have a pretty strange family though!
GL!

im a step mum to a 15.5 y/o and a mum to his (half) bro and (half) sis. Ihave found that stepparenting has its own special and unique challenges, especially when it comes to teenagers...

Peace wrote: I think it depends on your family dynamic.

i would agree with that 1000%

Wow! That's wicked that so many of you have responded to my post- thank you, it really made me feel like there is some support out there should DP and I get pg!

I come from a blended family myself- I was 13 when it happened and it was very difficult. I now love my stepfather to pieces and he has been a better Dad to me than my biological one- although of course I love him too, they're just polar opposites. My Step mum is nice too although I don't feel we have the same bond that my SF and I do...but she is alos very different fomr my mother, who is lovely and caring in every way. I also inherited stepbrothers, whom I've had little to do with (their choice).

My current situation with my DP is that I don't have kids but he has 2, both under 8 and we all get on incrediably well (so far! touch wood!). There is also another child involved who is not his biological child but who he has helped raise so we will be looking after that little one full time  soon as well. It's dfinately a blended family! We're both looking forward to a couple more additions over the coming years, I was just approaching it a little more cauitiously as I do appreciate the dynamic would be different- that's why its so great to hear your stories! Would love any more so keep them coming!  My opinion at this stage is that every family is so different and the one thing I do really believe with all my heart is that you have to have a strong couple to make it work. I reckon the relationship with your partner has to be as solid as poss because I can imagine how difficult it can get with ex's and ex in-laws etc! I have had a taste of this already and it's certainly an effort to keep on top of it sometimes.   But generally speaking things are pretty acrimonious in that department- I have been in a elationship before where this was not the case and it was a large contributing factor to the end of our relationship. I was a lot younger then though and probably less able to cope. Any of you have advice for that paticuar challenge with the ex's?