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lizzle 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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 Posted: 22 October 2006 at 11:13am |
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I do that removing thing with jake too. His six year old cousin is here at the moment and Jake sees him as a wrestlying partner. Poor Sam. He was getting really cross with him, so I bundled Jake up and we went into the bedroom. jake yelled, then we read a story and I told him he needed to be calm around Sam and then showed him some blocks that they could play with together. the time-out thing is really great for getting the kiddies to calm down!
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AnnC
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
Points: 6796
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Posted: 22 October 2006 at 12:46pm |
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depending how comfortable with the other person. I hv a few friends with older kids that wouldn't knwo any better and I am sure when/if baby gets in their way or they don't know what they are doing is hurting baby or wrecking the place I would say nicely 'oh thats not nice and distract them to something else and I am sure my friends wouldn't care cause I wouldn't. when my first born was little my friend had a child 9 months older and that wot we would do - but it went both ways. with you not saying anything your friend mite think you think its ok.
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Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Bombshell
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 6665
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Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:42pm |
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oh if she has lived with her parents she might be used to handing over the discipline - or even having been overruled by them....I have a friend whose lived with her parents and her son listens to the grandparents but not to her....it is quite sad really....
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busymum
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 22 October 2006 at 9:44pm |
My nearly 3 year old wouldn't say boo to a fly, as the saying goes, and came across a little roughie. We taught her to say "stop, I don't like that" or whatever and come straight to us (I realise Jack's not at that age yet). Advice I was given was to give the "victim" all the attention so it doesn't pay off for the bully.
I would suggest saying 'no' to the 2yo, grab her hand firmly and move her away. Then give all your cuddles etc to Jack. See if that helps. It's a tricky situation because it may be already that the 2yo feels threatened by him getting a lot of attention. 
I agree with meeting elsewhere, if you meet on mutual ground or at her place, you can leave if things get too out of hand. As for cleaning up toys, not everyone does it, it is a courtesy, so rather difficult to enforce at your own place. Relatives of mine have children a bit older than mine, when they leave they leave the mess as is (I think they don't even realise that we never spread things so much, and just think well we were playing WITH them...maybe?) but my biggest trouble is that they don't take care of our toys and we keep finding things broken afterwards. We don't know exactly who does it because we've never seen it happen (but my girls don't have the strength, so it's one of "them")... grrr
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busymum
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 22 October 2006 at 9:45pm |
Wow what a ramble, I must be getting tired  Goodnight!
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miss
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 12:00am |
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I just had a thought about the mess thing. Every time my nephew and/or niece come over, whenever their mum makes leaving noises I always say to them - ok guys, lets get that mess cleaned up before you go shall we - and go to the place with most of the mess and involve them. That way I am showing what I expect to happen, but not relying on my sister to get the kids to pick up. The kids know it is expected too, now, so they do tidy up more easily now.
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nuttymama
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Location: christchurch
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 8:54am |
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I have a friend that sounds just like that. Her daughter used to constantly hurt jayden and all her mother would say is "oh well she has to be lke that with her big brothers and sisters", and then she would laugh! Jayden put up with it for months and months until one day he finally broke and she hit his head into the wall and he decided he had had enough and walloped her back. While I don't condone kids fighting I noticed she never hit Jayden after that. And unfortunately I think that Jayden hitting back is the only way she learnt. I have also noticed sheis the onnly one he has ever lost his patience with. She would also contantly let her kids trash my house and go onto rooms they weren't allowed in. So enough was enough, I started telling them to clean up as she said "we had better go" and started telling them off (politly of course) if they went into rooms they knew they weren't allowed to. She doesn't seem to have taken offence to this as she still comes over.
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Abigail 06/01/2005
Jayden 21/11/2001
Micheal 03/04/1997
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linda
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 7:23pm |
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We were at a cafe once and Harry hit a girl slightly bigger than him. We were so embarrassed so got Harry to apologise. The parents of the girl said to us that it was ok, it was just a stage (one of many) and their daughter also went thru it. Harry doesn't do it now but
I thought it was nice of the parents to reasure us as we were so embarrassed and hadn't dealt with anything like that before. Now if children hit Harry we can say that its ok, Harry use to do that (and I would only say that if the parents spoke to the child about how hitting is wrong.
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Roksana
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Manurewa, Auckland
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Posted: 24 October 2006 at 10:28am |
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Like Liz Zaara has learned to "Pat"....but I always tell her NO Zaara...nicey nicey please...and then she rubs. I would tell a kid off if they tried to hurt her (wouldnt care if the parent(s) dont like it)....specially if they dont stop this themself.
I would hate it if my daughter was known as the bully....I will teach her not to do it. As for cleaning up ...hello....common courtecy....
And Nikki...Hannah was sooo sweet when I saw her!! what are you talking about?
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nikkitheknitter
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Location: Westie
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Posted: 24 October 2006 at 12:03pm |
haha She must have been having a good day 
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Am I being unreasonable?
