your village?

It would be here on OHBaby.
I guess our children will be part of the global village.
With friends and family in all parts of the country and across the world.
Exciting times for modern day mums and bubs.

to be honest i feel i have a very small village im not one to find it easy to ask for help, i have my family very close in the area no more than 7 mins to all my close family members (parents, sister etc..) yet i find myself feeling alone more often than not, have little support the times i do reach out for help or something.
most of my friends moved away at the end of school on to uni etc.. scattered around the country- i married at 19 and again the friends i had left around were still into the single scene and we kinda drifted apart.
i have found it really hard trying to get out and meet other mums as my life revolves around my kids and i feel i have nothing to offer anyone (im boring! have such low self esteem) there are a few other parents which i chat too at school, kindy etc... and online thats why i love ohbaby there is such a great support network and high chance that someone out there has been through or is going through what you are, is similair to you in personality etc..
it's just hard knowing that you cant just get in the car and go and see your friends whenever you want.

My village is my family (albeit a VERY small family), church and some friends. However, I really really struggle to admit weakness and ask for help. I'm slowly (very slowly) learning that I have to put my pride aside and reach out to those who are there to help. I am very very independent and like to be seen to be able to cope with absolutely anything all on my own (this is not a good thing!). I find that if you sit back and don't actively accept offers of help or reach out when you need help, you can end up very isolated but it is unnecessary as there is almost always someone who would LOVE to help. I think sometimes we worry that others will judge us or look down on us if we admit weakness but in reality many people don't.

The village IS there but it is not like it used to be and it takes strength and effort to be part of a village.

I don't really have a village. . All my friends are off at uni and a lot haven't kept contact, and the ones that do keep contact (bar one friend who is great when shes down from auks) just come and play with Arabella then leave.

I just said in a PM to Mazzy that I even get asked a trillion times how to spell Nikki... atleast with Niamh you'd have a good reason to have to spell it out! hehe

Right. Threadjack over from me too.

Awww, feeling the OB love again... And Debs right Rach, you are so not boring and have heaps to offer. But I also know how you feel. Maybe we all just need to be the ones to take the first step/make an effort.

And OhBaby commune anyone??

Lol Mazzy,....Im sorry but Im so not growing my underarm hair for ANYONE! As much as I love Ohbby! Lol!

*Thread jack* -After having to continually correct people who pronounce and/or spell Isla's name wrong, I am gonna choose a name like,..Kelly *IF* we have another baby! Lol! A ctually I lie,...we have chosen a name if its a girl, and we are gonna have the same prob again! He he! Go the unusal names!

I love this question and I've been having a think about it, which is why I'm coming in a little behind everyone else with my answer (that, and the fact that it's just insane behind the scenes at OHbaby! lately with the holiday rush and our upcoming magazine being planned). Anyway, my village is not the village I expected I'd have around me when I was growing up. My mom's family in the US were the village to raised me, even though they all lived rather far away. I have so many memories of spending summers at my grandmother's and great-grandmother's homes (they lived next door to each other). I always had a very strong sense of family, and the women in my family are particularly amazing role models -- all of them are strong survivors and creators.

When Emma Rose was born, I decided that I needed to capture that same feeling of security, love and strong roots that I grew up with, but for her sake. My family is very far away so it's DH's family who are the "village elders", I suppose -- the people I want her to be close to and to look up to. His aunties and uncles are all opinionated, fun-loving, loyal people, and I've tried to make sure that Emma has a connection to each of them and sees them as often as possible. She's named after DH's great-grandma, who is still alive and kicking at 85 and who is also an amazing woman. Being 8500 miles away from my own family has shown me the importance of forging relationships with your child's relatives, no matter how insane they drive me (especially certain in-laws!).

There are other amazing women in my daughter's village, too. I think because I've always had such a strong sense of how important female role models are to us as women, I've made a point to make friends with and seek out the companionship of other strong women. I don't have very many friends here in New Zealand, even after nearly six years of living here, but those I do have are treasures who make such a positive impression on my life that I am grateful for their presence in my daughter's life as well. I think that my daughter's village will be different from the one that raised me in a crucial way -- I've chosen villagers who not only love and care for my daughter, they support me as a mother and as a woman.

I also have long-distance villagers back in the US -- my best friend there is Em's godmother, and my other friends (again, there are only a few, but they are "quality") have been involved in her life right from the start. One of my most treasured friends in the US just sent Em the most incredible Christmas present -- it is a pin that belonged to her grandmother, and on it is a verse in Hebrew: "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all" (Proverbs 31:29). My friend doesn't have any children, but for her to feel that Emma is important enough to want her to have this special piece of HER history means more to me than anything. That, to me, is what a village raising a child is all about -- people who include your child in their lives and don't just observe them from afar.