Smacking - whats the deal

I have smacked (on the hand or nappied bottom) and hate myself for it! I agree with Nikki...it seems insane to use violence to correct violence, even if you are not hitting hard enough for it to hurt it's still hitting.

We used the naughty spot up until last night when we aquired a naughty chair.

She gets 3 warnings and then 1 minute on the naughty chair.

And yes even at her age it works, far more than if I have lost my temper and smacked her.

I did used to think smacking was fine but now seeing the results first hand I have done a total 180 and don't see it necessary at all.

Edited by Paws

I haven't witnessed what you are going through Deb, but I just want to discuss about the naughty corner "not working" - I don't think we can expect a young toddler to sit in the corner and look remorseful for what they have done. I think the intention is (if anything) is to not reward them with attention (which is what yelling and carrying on/hitting would give them.)

If you mean that he just plain won't sit in the corner, then it just might take time (if that's the way you want it to work). I mean, at that age they hardly have the attention span to deal with things, which is why I think understanding (or atleast beginning to be shown) the consequences of their actions is more important.

The other thing that I have come across people talking about recently, though I think this is for older kids, is that their "punishment" is the loss of their freedom. The kids have their 'right to choose' taken from them and they are shadowed by a parent for a period of time. This is to create a bond/open the means of communication between the parent and child. I need to read up on it more to be able to talk about it properly, but I like the theory behind it.

(Ooo really off topic! Sorry Robyn!)

Edited to fix italics. argh.

Edited by nikkiwhyte

Oh and I should say we have been doing this probably since she was 18 months, maybe a bit before.

Yeah it does paws and I am a huge supper nanny fan.   Alan does know that he needs to say sorry I just don't think he really gets why if that makes scence. I know it sound's like an excuse, but I really think the fact that he is a boy he responds diffiernt to how a girl would.
And as for Mikey he is completly clueless we have tried to ignore the behavour does not alway work tho when is is totally screaming in your ear. we use to put him in his cot till he calmed down except he would keep going to sleep too quick and sleep too much in the day.

nikkiwhyte wrote: I think that's what I like about Hannah at the moment, is that a warning is enough to prevent the corner even being used. Preventative is so much better than punitive!

Yeah every so often a 3-2-1 countdown is enough to head off a temper tantrum...not always but occassionally!

loadsakids - can you use someone where else rather than the cot? Even just a spot in the hallway or something?