Who DIDN’T have the 1st Bithday Party.

I'm just wondering, as it seems to be a big deal.

We had decided It's not a big deal and would on his birthday, a Tuesday. Have a nice Ryany meal, like chicken nuggets and finger food and I'd make a cake. We decide this weeks ago as having a party would just be to much, cuase I wouldn't know where to cut the guest list, no one knows we are pregnant, at that stage niether did we, and I just felt that he is only turning 1. I know eveyone says it's all about the parents, but I do I get presents and my own cake. I'm quite happy to sleep actually .

Anyway, MIL (this is going to turn into a rant) Rang on Friday night to ask if we'd decide if we were doing anything for his birthday, we said no we would just have us on Tuesday and we' have cake. She seemed to think we have to do something. She'd also asked a few weeks back cause her mum the GMIL was asking. ***big sigh*** So last night FIL rang up, and they have decided that they are going to have a party at their place, (brand new house been they since April) They are going to invite my family mum, dad, bro, sis, MIL's parents and Our best friends, who probably can't come cause they are farmers and it's getting busy for them. And its going to be low key.

I don't want to go. I just can't help it. I feel like it's not going to be about Ryan at all. Oh I know its about me and DH. So why don't they babysit him so I can sleep. or send us to a movie.

You've only got the partial prints of this story I'm peeved. Actually so made I felt like leaing him last night Caus eI hate his parents for always trying to butt in on everything.

I'm going to restrain myself now cause this could go on forever. And I have a codl and got my forst MS this morning, so I'm angry at that too.

For DS1 we had a bbq, mostly just family, but I did invite a couple of friends, who got drunk, smoked, did not bring a present (I know that should not be a big thing), but felt they were there for the wrong reason.

After that, we have only invited the in-laws, & SIL & BIN with there kids, rest iof the family live to far away.

We usually go out for the day & then have party food at home, & at 1yr old they only want the wrapping & to stick there fingers in the cake lol.

I think your IL's are looking forward to it, is Ryan the first grandson??

I know it is hard to say no, so if you could say something like, we are having dinner on Tuesday, you can come, & on Saturday we will drop him off for the day & you can spend time with him while we had time for us. (oh & I know all about MIL)

Edited by jazzy

We didnt. the day before Tom's first birthday I invited a couple of my close friends around for afternoon tea. Thankfully only one could make it (the other almost went in to labour). I made cupcakes and lollicake and we made the two kiddies sit at the table and have their cake. I did balloons and he opened his presents. That was all...just enough to have a few photos to mark the occasion.

On his actual birthday, I worked in the morning, he went to daycare. Then we picked him up, went straight to the airport and up to grandparents. Again no party...but a little bit of cake and lots of presents.


This year I am planning a party for Tom...and I want one!

I'm in two minds on this...as someone who has ILs that are not bad people, but I don't gel with, I get why you'd not want to do anything with them...BUT on the other hand I see that it's a big deal for them and they want to do something special.

I *think* that if it were me, as long as the only thing I was expected to do was turn up, then I think you should go. (sorry!)

You're in a tricky spot - is it a battle worth fighting?? Can you manage to 'suck it up'?

(and some hugs - cos I feel for you! )

We had a BBQ where there was only 1 other baby and we had no decorations/ party things at all other than the cake.

However both our families live in Ireland so if we were there we would have had a party I think , especially as they are the first grandchildren.


Honestly I can see both sides of view. Celebrating a first birthday is probably important to the grandparents too.

But having said that I don't know anything about the type of relationship you have with them normally.

The guest list here will be bubs, hubby, me and my parents cause they will make the effort to come down for the 1st birthday (hubbys family - no one will bother), and maybe my friend and her 3 kids. Unfortunately we don't know many people where we are living!

We didn't have one for Jimmy - just made him a cake, which he didn't like as it was an ice-cream cake and he'd never tried ice-cream before . But hosted coffee group the next day, so that was a low key kinda celebration.  At age 1 they (bubs) don't really care; by age 2 I'm sure its a different story . Put your foot down I say - or tell your DH to take Ryan but leave you behind so you can have a break.

IMHO the first birthday is a celebration of your first year as a family. It's not only about your baby turning one but you being a parent for a year and making it!
I think whatever the 3 of you want to do is what you should do .
I did a big party for Arabella in the weekend which was ok but the spending time with her and filling the house up with balloons on her birthday was waaaay better :D

We just had a potluck dinner with mum and dad and my brothers and sister. I opened his pressies for him and Jake pee'd on his brandnew guitar LOL got a photo of it too Then he went to bed (he was really sick poor baby) and we all sat around playing boardgames. They're too little to know what a party is anyway I reckon. If its such a big deal then organise it for the weekend so maybe your family could make it earlier? Have an early tea and tell everyboy to bring something to contribute, take pictures, have cake (we didn't have cake though actually), open his presents, send the family all home and put him and yourself to bed.