Asking for Help

sorry but i dont understand why he still cant help, its his leg thats hurt not his arms... surely he can fold washing, chop veges, play games with the kids..all things that dont need to done standing up.
he can even sit in the bathroom while the kids have their bath so you can be doing other stuff.
put him to work i say...

Hi Italiah

We are in a similar situation as I am recovering from hip surgery, on crutches and not able to drive for about six weeks. We have two children and don't qualify for home help as DH is a SAHD. On top of that I went back to work until 2pm 3 1/2 weeks after my surgery and DP drove me there then picked me up a few hours later.

We've simplified things a lot and are managing just fine. If a girlfriend drops around and DP wants to go grocery shopping I ask if she can stay and change nappies but thats about all the help I've asked for. My visitors are pretty good at bringing biscuts or something if they drop in but we haven't had any help with housework or meal preparation, mostly because they have their own families so are pretty busy, and also because I feel we are managing.

Here are a few things we are doing to make things easier.

Put the washing in the dryer
Cook a big roast or stew/casserole, enough to last two nights. Glad wrap ready plated meals and put them in the fridge for the second night. Heat and eat
Canned vege soup and baked beans toasted sandwhiches contain all food groups, especially if you eat fruit for pudding.
Buy easy to prepare food - frozen veges, ready washed potatoes and chicken pieces are all good
Stock up on everything when you grocery shop
Buy bread and milk when you are out, you'll probably be running out anyway.

These are the things I can't do

Carry washing out to the line
Strip the beds
Carry in shopping
Vacuming
Bath the baby
Get on the floor to play

These are the things I've been doing since about two weeks after my surgery.

Making sandwhiches at the kitchen bench
Chopping veges for dinner (first I sat at the table)
Folding washing once DP's thrown in on the table (again, started by sitting at the table)
Cooking a stir fry with a chair on hand for regular 'sits'
Making a pot of vege soup once the veges were all placed on the bench for me.
Washing the dishes
Feeding the baby once he's already in the highchair, wiping his hands and face etc.

You will probably find his surgeon, physiotherapist and OT have all told him to use his knee, get exercise but avoid certain movements.

We tried that busymum and it didn't work. DP works evenings so I was home with the kids from about 4.30pm until about 9.30pm from about 2.5 weeks after surgery. Their criteria was 'must have someone home DURING THE DAY to help'. Because DP could do the washing, shopping, housework and prepare us a meal before he went to work this was considered all ok.

Italiah - I was told to request a social worker to assess our situation if I felt I wasn't coping to see if we needed some extra help. You may want to try this avenue if you haven't already.

ok i read the other replies and it seems like ACC case managers vary in what they want to help with