Good kids, bad kids

A lot of people, including me, attribute good kids to good parents. But then a "bad" kid comes along - especially teenagers - and the parents are assured to not worry because no matter what they did it's the kid's bad choice etc and the parents are still good parents.

So what are we to think? Good parents = good AND bad kids?

Sorry I think I'm just ranting tonight lol

I know a Mum who I personally think is a bad Mum and one of her children takes well to her 'dictatorship' style of parenting and the family considers her the 'good' child and the other doesn't and is considered a 'bad' child- basically one of them does what shes told and the other rebels. Out of the 2 kids I actually prefer the so-called naughty one as she has a backbone and underneath the naughtiness seems to be a real sweetheart, the other does everything shes told immediately but has a real nasty streak and is becoming really manipulative. Will be really interesting to see what happens when they become teens...

I think its totally a mix of nature and nurture. I think to a certain extent we are born with personality traits and how our parents raise us and our experiences influence those traits. Sometimes a strong willed child can be raised in a way that makes these traits more socially acceptable and other times they are raised in a way that exacerbates the negatives.

I also think that all kids have their days a go through phases of testing boundaries. I consider Charlotte a pretty darn good kid but at times, like Janine said, her behaviour is bad.

I have a cousin who was most certainly a bad kid- very long story, but I think his behaviour can be directly attributed to the way he was raised eg Jellyfish parents. Once kids get to teens I think it is really hard to pin down the causes of bad behaviour- there are so many outside influences at that point that you can't soley blame responsability on the parents. In saying that, I think that as parents its our job to prepare our kids as best as we can to deal with those influences- raise them to have good morals, lead by example and give them as much self esteem as we can so that they have the skills to make good decisions once they get to that stage. In an ideal world of course...


Wow! What a rant.

Hehe spot the Psychotherapists daughter! Basically means parenting with no boundaries.

Maya wrote: Just a thought I had... and is there even really a simple answer?

Nope.

Its so easy to say someone is a bad parent but do you really know what goes on 24/7.

Even when a kid or teen is bad most of the time they are really nice but its when nothing is done to stop their behaviour that the kid turns into a bad person.