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Bubbaloo 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
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 Posted: 23 July 2008 at 1:38pm |
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Weel we don't live in different countries but we do different Islands Have lived away from Mum and Dad for about 7yrs now and still every now and then I wish I could move back to be around them more for my Kids sake than mine it maybe different though if I actually liked my inlaws I know its stupid but I hate the fact that they get to see James more than my family.
But in saying that moving away from my family was probably the best thing I ever did and I am not sure I would be the same person I am if I stayed just because Mumand Dad babied me (yep I am the spoilt one of the family) so I am not sure if I would have grown has much as I have and it's great just to experience new places and people as well. I say go for it and remeber you can always come back if you don't like it.
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 Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08
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my2angels
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Posted: 23 July 2008 at 1:39pm |
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oh everyone has such different stories (I should have guessed that really though)
Im so confused.
Vanessa you can always come too!!!!!
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 23 July 2008 at 1:42pm |
I would say go, so long as you get a webcam and the grandparents get one too (and you show them how it works before you go  ), you will be fine.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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Jennz
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897
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Posted: 23 July 2008 at 7:49pm |
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To be completely honest- I HATE it! Its just awful- my parents barely even know Kate- they have only met her twice and how can they have a connection when shes can't even remember who they are? I hate that we are taking that relationship away from her, and from them. I know for us its only 2 more years but I feel so completely and utterly shallow and selfish that we are basically over here for money and in the process destroying our childrens relationship with their extended family. Yes we are coming back- and yes they do get to see each other about once a year BUT it is not the same as having them down the road and being part of their day to day life. IMO no money can make up for those kind of bonds- in saying that, we've still made this choice so we're (or our children and parents) just going to have to have live with the consequences.
I wouldn't recommend it but can see your reasons for doing it! I was told all these things before we left but its only now that I am starting to see how important family is and am starting to really regret leaving for this long.
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Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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nuttymama
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Location: christchurch
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 7:06am |
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As you know we are off to aussie early September, and this what the main thing we struggled with. My family live in CHCH with us and although we have our moments we are quite a close bunch.
But DH family live up north and the kids have a wonderful relationship with them. We have photos up of DH parents and his mum rings every weekend and talks to the kids. The boys also send E-mails. And I send a weekly "newsletter" and photos via E-mail. They only see them around once a year but the kids talk about them as much as they do my family.
We are planning to get a webcam when we go to keep in touch and I will do the same for my family as I do for DH's family.
I know how much you have struggled with this, and all I can say having recently been there myself is deep down you will know what to do. My saving grace is if it doesn't work or we miss family too much we can just come home. Although we have given ourselves a minimum of a year there before we decide what we are doing.
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Abigail 06/01/2005
Jayden 21/11/2001
Micheal 03/04/1997
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jack_&_charli
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Location: christchurch
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 8:53am |
 nuttymama wrote:
My saving grace is if it doesn't work or we miss family too much we can just come home. Although we have given ourselves a minimum of a year there before we decide what we are doing. |
exactly....you're better to try it and not like it, than to spend the rest of your life wondering....... 
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my2angels
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 1:53pm |
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I think apart from the family the hardest thing is we both have jobs we really like at the moment (and we all know its hard to find a job you are happy in)
My mum cant even work her telephone let alone a webcam but Im sure my sisters will help her out.
I know we can come back if we dont like it but by then we have already given up really good jobs so would have to start careers again, well hubby would, my career is the kids but you know what i mean. Is it worth the risk.
Jennz, thats exactly what Im worried about, I will feel like you do.
But it does sound like a lot of you still have close relationships with family that arent close by so at least it can happen........
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 2:19pm |
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robyn.......do you think maybe you should give nz another 12mths and see how you feel about moving then?
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nuttymama
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 3:52pm |
jack_&_charli wrote:
robyn.......do you think maybe you should give nz another 12mths and see how you feel about moving then? |
SNAP!!!
It has taken us around 6 years to finally make our decision. There is absolutely no reason why you can't think about it for another few years. It sounds like you are putting a huge amount of pressure on yourself.
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Abigail 06/01/2005
Jayden 21/11/2001
Micheal 03/04/1997
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tishy
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Location: Wellington
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 6:00pm |
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Well we moved here from Ireland 3 years ago and while I do miss my family we have built up a life here that wouldn't have been possible in Ireland. I'm still in denial that we're staying here but TBH it's looking more and more likely that way.
If Ireland was just one plane flight away I would say that we would never be moving home. I would absolutely love to go home for a weekend and come back again. Unfortunately that's not possible and it's minimum 36hours to get there.
It took us a year to settle into NZ, in fact it wasn't until we moved to Wellington last year that we really felt settled.
We will work hard at keeping relationships going between the girls and their grandparents, aunties & uncles. I am currently making up a photo album for each girl so I can how them all the people who love them. Also Skype, sending photos & DVDs are important too.
I think you have to do what you think is best for you not what is best for your extended family. For us we believe that the life we are building here is more important than having extended family nearby.
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? for those who live away from family
