Competitive mothering... (longish!)

I think I am quite lucky in the fact that me and DH are the only ones that have children and it'll be that way for a few more years I think (even thou DH is the youngest) so I don't have the family to tell me how to do things. I do have a FIL that thinks that HE knows how to raise Andrew even thou he did none of the raising of his 4 children. He trys to tell me how to do things and I hit the personal spot and say "yes and YOU did a wonderful job of parenting YOUR 4 children (NOT)". It shuts him up fast (I don't think he was all too pleased that his youngest child married a very strong willed and headed woman ). Even today he was trying to make Andrew eat his sandwich and I sat there in so much pain (horrible baby inside) telling him that children that are forced to eat develop eating disorders (I know I was probably talking out of my ar$e, but what does he know), and I would really like it if you didn't give Andrew one. Good think for me is the MIL will always back me up on the eating thing as she never made her children eat if they weren't hungry.

I know by now I would have given your SIL an ear full and told her where to go and to get over her little hang ups she has. I had a friend that would do the comparing thing all the time and it drove us apart as I never wanted to be around her. Andrew got sick it was my fault, but if her little girl got a chest infection (as she did quite often as a baby) it had nothing to do with the fact that both the parents smoked inside the house and no ventilation and she was made to be in the room with the smoke (as a baby she couldn't move) and therefore not her fault. She would compare development with Andrew (Andrew is 3 months older) and anything Andrew was doing milestone wise her girl had to be doing it as well at the same time as Andrew. The best was Andrew crawling at 5 months and her 2 month old was as well YEAH RIGHT.

I wish you all the luck when you do tell her what a pain she is.

he he, Katherine it sucks but i guess all mums do it.. they like to share what their kids can do.. and feel guilty if they aren't up to someone elses in one area to try to accentuate what they CAN do in others. .. ie competitiveness.. but mostly people realise kids are different, learn at their own speed etc.

However.. definately - if your she was that concerned about your baby being sick and her child getting it then she should have left.   but wow i mean, you should feel proud cos your child did something that apperently hers hasn't yet.. lol.

Who cares where they get them from - it could be some person sneezed on something she touched.. anywhere.. it doesn't take much for kids to get sick - but the best thing is the ones that get all these things tend to be the ones that don't get as sick later on cos they have IMMUNITY! lol.

My mum constantly compares all the grandkids - i don't think it helps that usually we tend to have them in pairs.. and they are the same sex too, ie two 12 yr old boys, two 9 yr old girls, two 4 yr old boys, then Ayja, who is only 4 months younger than Bailey. and yes while bailey has learning difficulties and more than a few medical probs.. she is constantly comparing him to Ayja.. poor kid can't do anything right. and Ayja.. I know she is small but is growing and isn't overly too tiny. Bailey on the other hand is on the freakishly large side of things being taller than paris is now (he has just turned 2, is same height as my 4 yr old nephews) it's always oh look at his hands they are so much bigger than hers, oh she's so light, it may be innocent but come on, he's older than her and is huge for his age.. it's not like i starve her! (he he, we all have our rants)

Anyway I would so go feral on her.

Edited by mum2paris