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busymum View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
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Points: 12236 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2007 at 3:24pm
I reckon he should do it too. Otherwise if he's on her side and you're "the bad one" you're really setting yourself up for troubles later on. If he doesn't have the guts, do it together. But there's no point you doing it on your own if he's not in agreement with you - he'll just give his card and PIN to her again!
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BabyOnBoard View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 March 2007
Location: Putaruru, Waikato
Points: 731 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BabyOnBoard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2007 at 4:23pm
I told him I want him to get reciepts because he is the one who gave her his card. I also told him that he is a big boy now and cannot jump when his mother says to, but rather to jump when I say to hehehehe.
She said she would come over and help with the cleaning and picking up of animals etc. I told her that it would be appreciated if she did but we were not giving her any money and she would have to come over of her own free will. I also pointed out she took enough money the first time to cover it. She looked quite shocked at that! HAHAHAHAHA I'm not as naive and controllable as she thought!
She will go and complain that I'm the one that spends all the money, well sorry for paying for bills out of MY own account.
Maybe I will send her a letter with the meaning of HELP on it :D
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Chovynz View Drop Down
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Joined: 07 March 2007
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Points: 547 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chovynz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2007 at 6:21pm
Originally posted by BabyOnBoard BabyOnBoard wrote:


She will go and complain that I'm the one that spends all the money, well sorry for paying for bills out of MY own account.
Maybe I will send her a letter with the meaning of HELP on it :D


Who cares if she complains? Not I, and you certainly shouldn't. I think your man needs to get some backbone too.

I'm annoyed for you, but I don't really know what to say to help, Cuz 1) I'm not sure you actually need help - sounds like you got things happening, 2) I don't really like getting into "him vs her" or "you vs him" stuff, 3) I got my own IL/family issues - they hit too close to home.

All I can say is I think what MIL did is not on, in any circumstance, but you don't want to make enemies of her either. So I'll point out what I see my opinions and you can decide what to do...

1) She/they? offered to help (usually help is voluntary, unpaid)
2) She can't "make" your DF do anything without his consent
3) DF needs to stand up to his mommy, and side with you
4) you cant make your DF do anything either
5) effectivly she stole your guys money. It wasn't ONLY your DF's, it was in a joint account, which means you both own it. I think she needs to put it right (not even taking into consideration the baby and HP issues.)
6) I think it's not wrong to want to strangle, but if that action is carried out, well then...
7) I dunno. W/e. I hope you can take what I've said like I mean it as support for you.
Defending the male species since 1980
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BabyOnBoard View Drop Down
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Points: 731 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BabyOnBoard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2007 at 9:40pm
Just a wee update:
Moved into the new house today with the help of my parents. Worked all day and then went straight into move mode. On the second load (Which was the last because other family were helping to) DF decided to finally help with his mum - he had already wasted the afternoon chasing down a chouch we didn't need and that wasn't there (this on instruction by his mother). So after everything was moved in and my family was gone I just wanted to sit and enjoy with DF but he was walking round kicking aand picking up boxes whilst his mother was unwrapping items and putting them down. Not away!
I said to leave it because I hasd the weekend anyway things continued and I was getting more and more tired and pi**ed off so ended up yelling at DF then MIL started yelling at me so we were all yelling so I drove off in the car. Didn't get very far before I rung my parents to pick me up because I couldn't drive.

Well at least I hadn't started planning the wedding yet
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Leish View Drop Down
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Points: 3443 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Leish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2007 at 9:42pm
Sheesh - what a mission!! Hugs Hope that things settle down and that the MIL pi$$es off
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BaAsKa View Drop Down
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Points: 3844 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BaAsKa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 September 2007 at 1:29pm
BUMP!! for you buzimumto3boys
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Chovynz View Drop Down
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Points: 547 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chovynz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 September 2007 at 7:46pm
Sorry to hear its still not working out. Yay that your in your new home though?
Defending the male species since 1980
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BabyOnBoard View Drop Down
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Points: 731 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BabyOnBoard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 September 2007 at 11:29pm
Ohh so glad that is over!! DF and I sorted things out but his mother does not improve with age! She doesn't even know when bubs is/was due just wants everyone to know its her grandchild. . She is more concerned with the recognition she recieves rather then the actual little human life coming into this world.
End Rant LOL
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buzimumto3boys View Drop Down
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Joined: 16 September 2007
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Points: 1167 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote buzimumto3boys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2007 at 7:10am
Thats typical... you will then get the "Oh I dont want to look after (child) but I want some pictures to show my friends... or can you bring (child) around so that so and so can see him/her!"
My MIL loves to show my kids off when she gets the chance... but doesnt want to have an actie nana role like she has with her other grandchild.
Unfortunatly you never win!!
It is good that you sorted things out though with your DF... with us it is often a sticking point when she does something and I want to rant... but we dont let it affect our relationship.
Good luck with the bubs who looks to be due any minute!!
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