Under your roof...

Oh Maya so sorry I didn't realise but at least you're recovering and thats the main thing.

I had my first whiskey at 6 and when I was a teen I often had a whiskey with dad (I got paid to make them for him lol) but it definitely was all about moderation. I guess we were lucky in a way that mum hid a lot of dad's problems from us as he got so used to his pain meds that the only way he could sleep would be to take an overdose of pills or drink. But it was always after we went to bed.

Smoking: I would never supply cigarettes. I am a smoker (have hardly had any since having Jack and didn't smoke during the pregnancy) and have smoked since I was 10 but hid it from my parents until I was 18. So even if you don't condone it, kids find a way around it! Let's just hope that by the time our babies are teens that smoking is so taboo or even better illegal. Would do me the world of good too!

Ok, now I feel like I need to clarify my stance, cos I feel like maybe you think I'm a bit head in the sand? I most certainly don;t think that the children won't do someting just because I said, that is for sure!

Alcohol.
We drink socially, we allow SS to have a beer if we are having a BBQ drinks thing at home, but no more than, say, 3 over the night.
He isn't allowed to go to parties when he stays here, Nor will we buy him alcohol (enable him).
Reason? He has proven on a couple of seperate occasions when we have allowed him to go to parties that he cannot be trusted, that he is not mature enough to deal with the situation or the consequenses. One time, he had a curfew of midnight and didn't arrive home till 7 the next morning. Then there is the fights and the police and the vomiting through the house and leaving me to clean it up and lying about it all, and total dishonesty as to who he is with and where he is going. Also, he is REALLY REALLY unbearable the next day and a real horror to all of us, especially the children, and that just isn't acceptable.

Jake and Charlotte will also be given a chance to prove their trustworthyness. Not before they are 16, though.

Smoking.
I hate it with a passion and I really really hope none of our kids do it. However, if they do smoke, the rules for them will be the same as it is for every other person we know. Not ever in the house.

Sex
I will be open with my children, very open with them, and I hope they feel they can come to me anytime. However, I will not allow them to be in a situation in my home that means closed doors with members of the opposite sex (we already have that rule here anyway) and I am not comfortable with the idea of my children having sex in my house, so no, there will be no B/G friends staying at home. I don't believe that as parents it is our job to provide a place for them to have sex. If they are chooseing to have sex, I hope they can come to me, and we can make them safe, but I will not be providing the situation. (enableing them) Lol cn you imagine the situation mum, can you and dad go out tonight and stay out late as joey is coming over and we wnat to go at it like rabbits int he lounge. Oh, sure honey, so you need me to get you some more chocolate love paint? NO WAY!

Drugs
The rule here is no how no way. While you are at school and under our roof, it is a no no. We will talk to the kids about drugs and be very open, we already do so with SS and the why you shouln't etc...
Yes, I have lived a wild life and tried almost everything there is to try, I NEVER EVER did it at home, and I was well over 20, working and living away from home, and fully understood what would happen if I got caught.

Edited by fattartsrock

Yeah and after my SIL and her battle with alcoholisim that ended with her taking her own life it has made me reevaluate the importance of alcohol in society and how we can change that. In our house it is a privledge not a right, as with everything else. I don't see why 16 year olds need to go out EVERY weekend drinking. And no, I didn't do that. I think I am alot older than some of you on here, and things were differnt in our day, honestly, lol.