What do I do?

This might be a bit of a story so sorry if its to long. Ok I moved out of home 10 years ago and a few years after that my sister bought a friend home who ended up living at there so she is family to those who were still home but not really to me (I was living in Nelson them in Paeroa) anyway its her 21st this weekend and I have only just been told about it and of course am expected to drop everything and go 'home'. I am so sick of doing this with my family as it happens all the time and am sort of wanting to make a stand this time. Do I? or do I just go? Just to add a but more as to why I am not keen I am tired of feeling like all I am doing re my pregnancy and just life in general wrong. I ended up having to tell family the sex of baby this week as I accidentally let it slip to my brother and so thought they might not be to happy if they found out through others and didn't exactly get the response I wanted and am now critisised by the for finding out in first place and now getting it in the ear from my them re why on earth am I not coming this weekend ra ra ra.

Any advice is much appreciated and again sorry for the rant.

DH tells me I shouldn't go and that I need to toughen up in general with them    I know I need to but just can't seem to summon the balls to do it.

Oh honey that sucks so badly, i know how you feel, DH tells me i need to "toughen up" with my family but its easier said than done huh?

Noone should be critisising you though for finding out the sex of your baby, its exactly that, yours.

If you dont want to go honey then dont, say that you are too tired and dont want to, tell them you havent got the money right now, and will go when you have the money or when baby comes, its up to you.

Maybe you could try telling them and somehow find the balls to do it, i ended up doing it wen i was about 20weeks preg and i didnt talk to my sisters for a couple of months, but then they got over it and realised tat there was going to be a baby soon and tey wanted to see it, so had to do what i wanted.

and maybe tell them and then go and spoil yourself so you dont feel so bad? i.e. chocolate, manicure, facial, movies shopping etc??

good luck thou hun

You shouldn't go.  They should have given you more notice, after all they've known that she was having a birthday. 

Sorry but they told you just this last weekend? No way o zay. They need to give a bit of a longer warning and I will not go if I dont feel up to it.

You shouldnt do things just because everyone else expects you to otherwise one day it all blows up. If you dont want to go then ou shouldnt and they should love you enough to be understanding

Good luck hun

I've got to agree with everyone else. Make a stand sooner rather than later. It may take time but eventually they get used to the new no bull s*#t you. Great that your DH sounds supportive for you in doing this, best of luck

As for finding out the sex of the baby that's no ones place to comment on whether you do or not. We found out with all of ours and its a surprise the day you do find out, it enables you to be a bit more prepared if that's what you need (I'm a very organised person so need to know what's happening)

Good on you for saying no! they will get over it!

Good on you Heather