my unreasonable and reasonable melt down

BaAsKa wrote: Im being stupid right??

Yes but you are allowed to!

computers playing up - didnt need to post it twice! :) Bloody dial up speed!

Edited by Bizzy

thanks Kelly I probably wont sleep tonight because il either be fuming over R or mentally cooking all the food in order for As bday!! lol

Ditto Bizzy said

And whatever your sister chooses to do , that doesn't take away what you and your mum had , you and your mum know how special your relationship was , nothing can ever, ever take that away .

Big hugs hun, hope tomorrow is a better day

For somethings I think you have to take out the emotional factor & selling your mums house is one of them.

I would not have paid haft the valuation cost as you did not want it done. I think you need to put your foot down, tell her she lost a quick sale for you both.

Tell her you don't want the house to stay in the family....but if it ends up with her buying you out add an extra $50k to it.

As for the other stuff, they sound like rambling to me. Possibly she feels jealous of the relationship you had with your mum. I would concentrate on selling the house & don't get into the other stuff you know the truth.

We weather in AK is gorgeous, so hopefully you will have it for your party. Tell DH to get out & help you or he wont see his next one

Amber - I was in the same situation as you....my Dad passed away 3 years ago (Mum had died 9 years ealrlier), my sis (who lives in Palmy) and I had to clear out and sell their house - and my Dad was a hoarder with 30+ years worth of stuff in the house! Anyway, I digress....

It's been one of the most emotionally-charged, difficult things I've had to do - at times more upsetting than actually losing our parents I think the problem is that all your childhood gripes and fights come back, and now it's like you're fighting for who loved your parents the most

We had to sell the house at well under what we had hoped, but there was almost no interest in it, the house needed much work, and the market was crashing (this was early last year). My sister didn't really seem to understand that just because we *felt* the house was worth more, that didn't mean we were going to be able to sell it for that. Fortunately once she was up here and able to see the house, she realised we just had to do it.

I think it's totally reasonable to want to sell the house - it would be far too upsetting to have it still in the family IMO; even if your sister does look after it.

I have found that (for us) actually being in the same room and talking about things helps alot. Because most of our communication is via email/text etc, it's very easy to misconstrue what it really being said. My sis and I are really not that close, we're just very different people, and we see things quite differently. It is such a hard situation to be in, when everything is so emotive. Can you get another family member (someone you both respect) to help discuss all the issues? Sometimes if everything is out in the open, and someone else is there to calm things down, you both might feel better?

Your sister is probably feeling guilty about the relationship she had with your mother, and is trying to make up for it, but no doubt it's coming out as something more hostile and passive aggressive!

Sorry for the novel, I just know exactly how you feel! I do know that now that the house is sold, and almost all of the crap in the house has been divided and sorted, we are getting along much better.

Glad it went well.