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  | sunnyhoney   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 06 February 2007
 Location: Mt Roskill
 Points: 1824
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Topic: Update - MIL Gone Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:30am
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   Had another counselling session with the MIL last night. She basically turned up and verbally attacked me and then left. She told so many lies and what had happened between us. She is a very twisted lady. She won't be seeing me or Joy ever again. Dh will see her occasionally but not for a while. I feel sad for Joy that she misses out on her grandma but DH & I both believe if she has access to Joy she will try and turn Joy against us. Everything has probably worked out for the better but I'm feeling quite unhappy about it all.
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     Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
 Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
 
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  | mummy_becks   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Points: 14931
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:33am | 
 
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   Good on you for taking a stand, and good on your DH for sticking to you on this one. | 
 
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     I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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  | nikkitheknitter   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Westie
 Points: 7556
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:34am | 
 
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   This sounds a bit horrible but I'm really glad it all went down in front of a counsellor. It is important that you have an impartial 3rd party present should anything further happen... but I hope like heck it doesn't!
 She seriously sounds like she has issues... you'll be better off without her.
 
 xo
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  | Maya   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 16 September 2003
 Location: Sydney
 Points: 23297
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:39am | 
 
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   Big hugs, but I agree with Nikki - at least the counsellor got to see her true colors.
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       Maya Grace (28/02/03)
   (02/01/06)
    The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
   Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
   Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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  | sunnyhoney   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 06 February 2007
 Location: Mt Roskill
 Points: 1824
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:41am | 
 
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   Yup, pretty horrible. I'm glad about the counsellor too as she was a witness to it all. I hope nothing further happens either.
Dumb thing is she left saying that her door is always open to me, but that she won't invite me so I don't have to make excuses not to come. Thing is, why on earth would I willingly go to a house where I know someone hates me that much!?
 I'm going to see the counsellor again today. She wanted me to go in and hang out for awhile to check that I was ok. What a cool counsellor!
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     Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
 Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
 
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  | .Mel   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 14 January 2007
 Location: Orewa
 Points: 9078
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 12:28pm | 
 
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   That's awesome that you've got such great support from your counsellor!
 
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     Mr Mellow (16)
 Miss Attitude (8)
 Destructa Kid (3)
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  | sunnyhoney   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 06 February 2007
 Location: Mt Roskill
 Points: 1824
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 1:34pm | 
 
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   Yep, I feel quite lucky.
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     Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
 Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
 
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  | susieq   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Howick/Auckland
 Points: 3771
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 4:31pm | 
 
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   Big hugs
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  | surfergirl   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 27 July 2007
 Location: Christchurch
 Points: 631
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 4:39pm | 
 
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   That's awful. As someone who also has toxic in-laws, I can safely say, some people are better out of your life. 
Well done you and DH! Time to move on ... with out the MIL...
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  | busymum   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 12236
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 7:26pm | 
 
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   Ugh. What a horrible thing to go through. At least it's over, but I can understand how it could leave that bitter taste in your mouth. Sounds like your counsellor is a gem with it all though.
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  | EmDee   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Waikato
 Points: 4407
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 7:47pm | 
 
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   Oh wow, how awful for you    It is sad that Joy will miss out an a grandma, though from the sounds of it she won't be missing much. At least it is over with now, and you can move on with your life. What an awesome counsellor you have too!
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     DS 8DD 6
 DS 4
 DD 2
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  | AnnC   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Taranaki
 Points: 6796
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 8:55pm | 
 
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   I don;t know the history but just wanted to send you a hug    | 
 
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     Ann
     Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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  | Bubbaloo   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: Christchurch
 Points: 3041
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 9:08pm | 
 
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   Wow she definitely sounds like she has issues and seems you guys are way better of without he in your lives.   | 
 
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       Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08
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  | MonicaMouse   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 22 February 2007
 Points: 1643
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:26pm | 
 
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   Sounds like you had quite a session and quite a breakthrough.   Sad that Joy won't see her Grandmother, but also good in the fact that she won't be exposed to her behaviours IYKWIM
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       Blair 15/10/2007
 Daniel 30/07/2009
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  | sunnyhoney   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 06 February 2007
 Location: Mt Roskill
 Points: 1824
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:46pm | 
 
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   yeah, you're right MM. That was what I was most concerned about - joy being exposed to that or worse learning it and behaving that way herself.
 I love this forum. It blows me away that complete strangers can support someone so sincerely. Thanks everyone    | 
 
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     Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
 Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
 
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  | kabe   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 11 February 2007
 Location: Northshore
 Points: 3069
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 13 June 2008 at 9:50am | 
 
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   Good on you for initiating the family counselling sessions. You and your DH should feel pleased with yourselves that you've done everything you can to improve the relationship, but at the end of the day, your MIL has sabotaged everything. 
 You're right to move on, and when Joy is old enough, perhaps she can choose to have her grandma in her life if she want to.
 
 BTW, you're so sweet and lovely, I can't believe she has a problem with you!!
 
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  | SMoody   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 09 January 2007
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 1999
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 13 June 2008 at 10:13am | 
 
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   Really glad the counsellor could see what she is up too. And now you need to get one with your life. Some people are just not worth having in your life at all. 
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