When is your mum coming?

We're away so we planned on importing my Mum for a couple of weeks after my due date - I wanted to have a chance to have a week or so at home with C and DH and for us to get used to being a family. As it turned out C was 2 months early so we did it on our own for almost 12 weeks before Mum came over from Aussie (she couldn't change her flights).

It was blimmin hard work. DH had to take time off work before C was born as I was on bedrest so he didn't have a lot of time left to take when we got home from hospital and I had about 4-5 weeks on my own before Mum actually arrived.

It really depends on your relationship with your Mum and what happens after the birth. I understand where you're coming from as I wasn't sure I wanted my Mum there straight away (and I'm still not 100% sure in my mind if it would have been any easier had she actually been there from the beginning).

oh i must come read this all later:) my Mum lives here but we did mostly by ourselves.. she doesn't drive and we had no spare space to sleep anyway.. for the first 6 weeks she came every wednesday which was great.. and this time is planning on taking a bit more time off.. DH doesnt get paid for time off so will prob get a few days at most..

in short no i dont think you are weird!:) its totally up to you adn what suits your family most!

Ugh - I got sick of this question as well! It made me feel as if maybe people thought that we weren't capable of looking after a baby on our own.

No I didn't have my Mum come down. Or anyone else for that matter. And it was AWESOME. Love my parents - they are perfect, they wouldn't have been overbearing and if I had actually needed them then they wouldn't have hesitated to come (even though they live at the other end of the country and were in the middle of calving). But I didn't need them at all. It was great just me, DP and son coming home from the hospital and adjusting to being a family all on our own.

But then I am the sort of person who likes to be very independent and do stuff on my own. I also have a very very super supportive DP. I didn't envisage that there would be any problems - and there weren't. For me, being a first time mum and having a newborn was not as hard as people warn it will be (Whenever I say that I feel guilty as if it might come back to bite me on the butt one day....)

I am sure you guys will manage just fine.

My Mum lives overseas in Ireland (as do all of the family on my side) and I keep getting the question 'when is your Mum coming over' which I hate being asked!

First of all, I miss my Mum terribly and would love her to be here, but it's not a simple drive down the road for her unfortunately! I would love her to be here and she may well come over for a visit but I have every intention of it just being DH and I and I'm ok with that.

Of course it would be lovely to have her close by if I needed help, but not having her support makes me feel more confident because I don't have a choice!

SarahJane I also get your comment about 'you don't know what kind of baby you will get' and I am hoping we don't have any major problems that we will need a lot of support with, I think about that a lot.. for now all we can do is wait and see

We are having time by ourselves before my parents come (separately). My mum is coming at Christmas and then for about 3-4 weeks. I think by that stage we might have sorted everything and be more comfortable with our routines (or lack thereof!). I just didn't want anyone telling us right from the beginning what we were doing wrong and how we should be doing things - I really want DH and I to figure it out for ourselves.

Mum has also been given the hard word - when she comes she is to HELP and not just sit around holding the baby. That is not helping. Putting out washing is helping. Doing the dishes is helping!

My Dad has also been told that he will be learning to change nappies. Not an option to be staying with us and not doing all the tasks that need completing!!

We'll see how it goes tho. One thing I am sure of - the in laws are absolutely not welcome since they already think everything I do is wrong. I could not cope if I was tired, sore and had to deal with them! Both sets of parents live in other parts of the country, so it's not like they can just drop in for an afternoon. That would be easier!

re the nappies my Dh and I change them and my parents havent yet but i think they should at least once or twice too:) esp my Mum its way better than the cloth nappies(old style) she used to have to change:)

now E is older they only just learnt to do up the car seat and have never changed a nappy so it's good yours are learning early:)

Edited by Four_eyes

So funny with parents and in laws and disposble nappies! Of course they never had them in their day so who would guess the picture goes on the front!
Ds1 had some nappies put on backward but they still work!

I'd love my mum to be here to help, but damn stupid immigration wont let her, lol!

SO we basically do everything alone with all my family in the UK and my MIL passed away years ago.
My mum has been over every year i've been in NZ (6years) and was here for 4 months after I had Spencer. She's great as she never pressed her views about parenting (or anything really) onto us and will listen to what we're doing and do the same with baby etc.

I just wish she was around

my husband is taking 5-6 weeks off work and my dad is coming up to look after Megan when I go into labour but that will only be for a couple of days.

with our first baby while our parents visited us they did not stay (as in over night) there would not have been a lot they could have done as my husband took about 4 weeks off work so he did pretty much every thing

StaceyL has said exactly what I was going to say

We are in Aus and both our parents are in NZ so if we were going to have them it would be all or nothing as well. We love our parents dearly and respect their opinions but pleased we didnt have them stay.
My Mum would have been very involved which may have annoyed me as I like things my way and I am very independant and set in my ways. On the flip side, having someone do the laundry, cook dinner or do the vacuuming on the odd occasion would have been a great help but DH and I have managed on our own and we dont know any other way IYKWIM.

You will know soon enough when bubs arrives and how your relationship is with your Mum or MIL. Just take each day as it comes. You can definitely manage