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emz 
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Joined: 25 November 2006
Location: Christchurch
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 Posted: 22 October 2009 at 10:27pm |
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We leave both our kids with my parents (well we have once) - with the lifestyle (if you can call the army that lol) we lead, I need to have a break from them.
Grr just found out DH is going away again! He was supposed to be home until end of Jan but nope home for a month then away for Nov/Dec for a few weeks.
So there goes making the most of every moment together again and nothing getting done, again!
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Shezamumof3
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Joined: 14 April 2007
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Posted: 22 October 2009 at 11:33pm |
 Bobbie wrote:
Honestly by the time Rowan's in bed I'm so tired I usually zone out in front of the TV while he does the dishes. Not exactly a communicative relationship.
On the rare occasion we do go out we look at other couples talking away and laugh because we honestly can't think of a thing to say.
Not that either of us are upset by this by any means but I think with young kids around the quality of the relationship time can reduce dramatically. |
This is me too, once the kids are asleep, I just sit wiht my laptop or I watch TV, and DH is usually on the other computer, or playing playstation.
On the weekends we try and get out for a walk, or take caden to the beach or something like that, especially now that the nice weather is coming.
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LittleBug
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Joined: 29 July 2007
Location: Dunedin
Points: 4277
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Posted: 23 October 2009 at 1:28am |
Honestly, most of the weekdays I feel like we barely see each other until we go to bed, and then it's a ten minute talk before we fall asleep, exhausted 
DH gets Friday and Saturday off, but atm I am going to uni on Friday, so not seeing him and then he usually has some friends over Friday night... but on Saturday we try and have a "family" day where we do something fun with the kidlets and then spend Saturday night together.
Unless we have other plans, like going to Chch this weekend to see family 
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Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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noisybaby
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Joined: 08 January 2009
Location: Dunedin
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Posted: 23 October 2009 at 1:12pm |
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My hubby and I are best friends, We do most things together and with the wee one. We talk alot together and love doing things together. Since he was diagnosed with a brain tumour 2 months ago I feel we are more in love now then ever before coz our priorities in life have changed. Time spent together as a family is much more important than anything else.
We have only had three days apart from each other since we got together 7+ years ago and they were hard.
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ElfsMum
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Joined: 04 June 2007
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 23 October 2009 at 1:43pm |
Bobbie wrote:
Honestly by the time Rowan's in bed I'm so tired I usually zone out in front of the TV while he does the dishes. Not exactly a communicative relationship.
On the rare occasion we do go out we look at other couples talking away and laugh because we honestly can't think of a thing to say.
Not that either of us are upset by this by any means but I think with young kids around the quality of the relationship time can reduce dramatically. |
same as us really.
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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Bobbie
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: North Shore Auckland
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 9:09am |
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OMG Noisybaby I'm so sorry you guys are going through that. I hope everything is going ok.
DH and I have only spent about 5 days apart total in the duration of our 15 year relationship. I feel homesick without him around.
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noisybaby
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Location: Dunedin
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 10:42am |
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Thanks Bobbie. Yeah it sucks but oh well, not much we can do about it. Theres always people worse off then us.
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GuestGuest
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Joined: 21 April 2008
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 3:11pm |
Bobbie wrote:
.
On the rare occasion we do go out we look at other couples talking away and laugh because we honestly can't think of a thing to say.
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Why don't you have anything to talk about? I would have thought that having children would mean that you have even more to talk about than other people.
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lilfatty
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Joined: 22 August 2007
Location: Waitakere
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 3:58pm |
LittleSal wrote:
Bobbie wrote:
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On the rare occasion we do go out we look at other couples talking away and laugh because we honestly can't think of a thing to say.
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Why don't you have anything to talk about? I would have thought that having children would mean that you have even more to talk about than other people. |
Because they probably dont want to discuss the kids while out on a date
Also if the Mum is a SAHM then thats basically all she has to talk about (they do take up a huge portion of your life), and Dad probably knows all this info already (being Dad and all).
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Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 5:06pm |
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that is exactly what i was going to say lilfatty:) i am so boring now cause i really dont have anything else to say.. and he doesnt do much other than work atm either:)
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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tishy
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Joined: 17 August 2007
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 8:03pm |
If we put a topic ban on kids and diving while out on a date we'd have nothing left to talk about 
We disappear to tv / computers in the evenings and generally do our chatting when we got to bed at night.
We normally try to do family things on both Saturday and Sunday mornings.
DH tends to go away a lot on either dive trips or work related trips. Ironically the longest we've been apart was when I was away for a 10 day work trip. 
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Bobbie
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Location: North Shore Auckland
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Posted: 24 October 2009 at 9:52pm |
Heehee yeah we 'ban' each other from discussing Rowan if we can. It's not really that bad but you know after a while you do kind of cover it all off during the course of the day so it does get a little quiet on our dates.
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Flutterby
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Posted: 25 October 2009 at 8:46pm |
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DP and I hardly ever spend time together these days. He is gone for 12hrs plus during week days then in the the weekends he is always off doing things. I would love to spend a lot more time together but he just doesn't get it. He also will also have at least 3 late nights a week. I think he thinks that I am happy being at home by myself and looking after DS all the time.
He wonders why I don't feel like doing 'it' all the time. He doesn't seem to understand how tired I am. What with always getting up to DS at night and never getting a sleep in as well as having to do the housework and cooking.
He has got DS up in the mornings a few time but since he doesn't know his tired signs e.t.c I am always kept awake by DS grizzling.
DP is about to get a rude awaking from Tuesday though as I am starting a part time job, so DP will have to look after DS in the weekends and on Tuesday. So hopefully he will get a better understanding of what it is like to be a SAHM and then maybe (fingers crossed) he will spend more time with us.
Also doesn't help that he stinks of beer and smokes when he gets home from hanging out with mates.
Sorry for the rant, I just wish things were like they used to be and that he would just realise that he has a family now and is no longer single.
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Lizze
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Joined: 02 February 2009
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:10am |
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DP and I used to work together, so it was literally 24/7, we'd go home for lunch together, spend evenings together and all weekend, but we got on so well it didn't matter.
Now we work at different places so I miss the lunches, but most evenings we cook tea together, we share all the housework, watch shortland street, go for mountain bike rides, and go to to bed at the same time.
Weekends we spend 90% of the time together, we try and make the supermarket shopping when we can both go, and DP even asked me to go to Mitre10 with him the other day as he enjoys it more when I'm there. (i love hardware shops anyway).
We don't go out drinking or socialising very often, but when we do it's not very often we go out without the other one unless its a work function where partners aren't invited. DP goes mountain biking with his friends sometimes so he can get a decent hill ride in (which i'm not very good at).
Not sure what it will be like when the baby comes, but I've already asked him to consider working 4 days/week instead of 5 so we can have a three day weekend as a family, and he will come home every day for lunch.
We also do alot of DIY around the house together at weekends, I'm the proactive one, and he's the rational one. Although recently we've paid a builder to come in an build a new bathroom for us as we decided it wasn't worth the stress and strain on our relationship doing it ourselves.
Edited by Lizze
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kiwisj
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Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:47pm |
I've just spent 3 weeks with DH almost 24/7 as we were back in NZ on holiday. But usually we spend about an hour together as a family (with C) in the mornings having breakfast and playing with C and then when he gets home from work C is usually asleep so we eat together and then watch telly or catch up with emails and family and on skype.
We've only had a couple of nights out without C since he was born because we don't have easy access to a babysitter. Things are definitely different since we've had a baby but once we got through the first few months of sleep deprivation (and sleeping separately so DH could function at work and I could get sleep when he was home) I think we're back on track.
OT -  to you and your DH noisybaby
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_SMS_
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Posted: 27 October 2009 at 6:09pm |
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DP and i never have time apart lol
Most nights we have dinner but dd to bed etc. Then he will go into the garage and do man things until 830,9pm and then we hang inside.
I find we never cuddle. Maybe once a fortnight we will watch a movie together.
But we are so independent and enjoy doing our own thing.
We doing family things every weekend so its not like we never spend anytime together
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 27 October 2009 at 6:24pm |
DH and I probably spend 2-3 hours quality time alone together each week. We don't get evenings because DH doesn't get home until 10:30pm and in the mornings we have 2 kids to keep us busy.
We had more time alone together back when I worked even though we worked different shifts (I often met him for 30 mins over lunchtime).
I am happy with our lot. I think the time we spend together as a family (the 4 of us) is quality time and I love watching DH with our kids, it gives me warm fuzzies just thinking about it. He and I have grown up together and will grow old together so there'll be plenty of alone time to come. On the other hand our kids aren't going to want to hang out with us forever so we're making the most of it while they still do.
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AzzaNZ
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Posted: 27 October 2009 at 8:51pm |
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DP works shifts and we see very little of each other. When we're home at the same time we're either on our computers or watching TV and we never have time alone together.
After 12 years we're a bit "meh". Things could be better, but they could be worse.
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How much time with your DH?
