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Bubie 
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Joined: 23 August 2009
Location: Gore
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 Posted: 25 January 2010 at 2:13pm |
Thank you so much girls, yeah my last name is the only one left to carry on the generation, so if we dont use my last name then it will be finished aswell. I do like the suggestion on using both names, The only problem i have with it as i am not sure how it is written as i have never seen one before lol, we already have a middle name picked as my partner wanted it to be the name of his dad that passed away when he was younger, so i agreed that he could have that as a middle name 
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Freesia
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 25 January 2010 at 2:23pm |
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Our surnames would sound really stupid if hyphenated so we never went down that route, and I remember a girl in school who had 2 hypenated (long) names and she could never fit it in the spaces available on forms. Would your names work alright together?
It's a bit trickier because you're having a boy I think. I still wonder if I'll raise the issue again if we ever have a boy. I really feel bad about letting our name die out whereas DP's family have heaps of boys to keep theirs going.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 25 January 2010 at 2:25pm |
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Well, as much as I hope you don't break up , anything is possible , especially at 19 .
I think your best bet would be to have a hyphenated surname, my daughter has mine and her fathers,it was her bio father first, my maiden name last, now that im married, (not to her bio father) all we've done is dropped my last name , so she has her bio dad's last name first , and my DH's (her dads) name last .
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.Mel
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Posted: 25 January 2010 at 5:51pm |
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Could baby have your surname as a middle name and have your partners as the surname.
My daughter and I are hypenated, we weren't married when she was born, and hadn't been back together that long either so we decided that she'd be hyphenated, once married I was hyphenated.
My youngest son has DH's surname. My oldest (from another relationship) has my maiden name.. all a bit of a mish mash really, but I felt strongly about keeping my surname so my oldest still felt connected to me, as there was no way at that time that he wanted to take DH's name.
I guess eventually once DD is older she may decide to drop my maiden name, I'm fine with that too. Since we've now been together 10years and nearly married 6.
It comes down to personal choice really..
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crafty1
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Posted: 25 January 2010 at 6:37pm |
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My DS has my surname even though DH and i are married. I never wanted to change my name and was always clear that my children would have my name.
My mum was a solo mum and we had my dad's surname even though i've hardly ever met him. It was a bloody terrible name too and i changed it when i was old enough to.
When it came up when we were pregnant i said that that was how it was going to be. DH was a bit put out but i said he could change his name to ours if he felt strongly about it, he said he wouldn't feel like himself with a different name. I said well that's my whole point!
I thought his family would be a bit funny and they were a bit, but they think i'm a raving feminist anyway as we share the household chores,cooking etc 50/50 so i think they just got used to it.
If you do have the baby have your name be prepared that people will ask why - i'm always happy to tell them why, but it's none of their business really.
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RinTinTin
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Joined: 04 February 2009
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Posted: 25 January 2010 at 8:35pm |
I agree to go for the double barrelled last name. That way both you and your partner have "equal share" in the babies name rather than it feeling like it's one or the others and with double barrelled you can drop one of the names if you wish.
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Katep
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Posted: 25 January 2010 at 8:44pm |
Regardless of whether you are together or not, the baby's dad is still his/her dad. And I can only assume he is going to be a great dad (otherwise you wouldn't be together) therefore why wouldnt the baby have his name?
But yes, using both names is a nice compromise. As long as they are nice names...
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Bubie
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Joined: 23 August 2009
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 8:25am |
Yeah they are both nice names, guess we are lucky there It wouldnt matter that our baby would be called Riley Christopher "......" "......" Which would mean it would have a wee bit of a long name 
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Bizzy
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 9:18am |
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if there is any thought in your head that you may not end up marrying the father of your baby i would give him your last name. if you separate from him and you want to change the last name back to yours (if you gave him your partners last name) you would need his consent to change it by deed poll.
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MyLilSquishy
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 11:54am |
DP and i already know that we are getting engaged and married after baby (time to save $$ and no way i could handle planning a wedding at the moment lol) so we are giving bubs his last name, as when we get married ill be taking his name anyway.... just easier for us, less hassle for us especially since we know we going to get married.
would you take your OHs surname when you married? if so, then why don't you give bubs your surname until you get married, then change both at the same time? and if you gave bubs your surname, and took DPs name... might be a bit odd with your kid having a different surname (not saying its wrong, just that you may have to explain alot lol)
is your last name able to be made into a middle name? so you could have OHs dads name and your surname as 2 middle names with OHs surname?
Bubie - we are having Riley as well lol. middle name is going to be James (turns out its a family name on both sieds of our family lol so works out well  hehe)
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ooEvaoo
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 1:02pm |
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DP and I aren't engaged yet..but we've known that we'd get married for many years. I was 19 and DP 17 when we first got together, and fell pregnant at 21 and 19 respectively. DS has his father's last name, and any future kiddies that come along will also have DP last name. I guess in a sense I'm kinda traditional and think that is how it should be....But in saying that I'll probably hyphenate mine and DP's surname's when we get married...not sure though. I think in the end it really does have to come down to compromise...Baby's as much your DP's as he is yours.....
Edited by ooEvaoo
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minik8e
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 3:18pm |
Seriously Bubie...it's not too long!! My nephew is has his first name, 4 middle names and then a double-barrelled surname His sister has a first name, two middle names and then a double-barrelled surname.
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Bubie
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 4:08pm |
Yeah i know me and my partner will be together forever, he always said we would get married later on, still apart of me that is waiting for that to happen  I think the best thing for us is to have two last names for bubs, or just his, then that way he wont feel like it isnt his baby
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mizpix
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 4:12pm |
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Good discussion ladies
Am trying to sort this out myself. I was always going to use my partners name for baby's surname, but now we have split and not much likelyhood of getting back together so am not sure. His surname is much more practical than mine, to be honest I dont think he's going to have a big part in the child's up bringing so why should carry his name. Can use Dad surname as a middle name as it is a normal mans name anyway so thinking I might do that
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Booski
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 8:35pm |
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Bubie you can have two middle names if that helps in your decision?? I am married but I won't ever be taking my husbands name - don't see why I should! I thought perhaps I might feel different once we had kids but I don't really care! I am like some of the others a family of girls so none to pass our surname on. My daughter has my surname as her second middle name, and I purposefully chose a first name that went with both of our surnames so that she can chose to have either last name when she's older.
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HoneybunsMa
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Posted: 26 January 2010 at 11:02pm |
DD has two middle names, and DPs last name. We thought it would be mean for her to have three names and a double barrelled last name.
He told me after the fact that he wouldn't have cared so much if she had my name as she will eventually lose the name anyway. He also thought it would be good for her to have my last name as his is an island last name and he didn't want her to be treated differently because of this, or held back in anyway.
I consider DD to be more a E**** because we spend more time with my family then his. She is also first grandchild in my family.
Wish he had told me all of this before we did the birth certificate. Damn him! I figure if she really wants to adopt my last name then she can, just not have it on the birth-cert iygwim.
Also when we get married I will probably double barrel our names so we share the name and I get to keep my own identity.
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ooEvaoo
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Posted: 27 January 2010 at 8:56am |
Mizpix - I would probably do the same. If I wasn't with the father of my unborn baby, or if the father didn't have anything to do with my child afterwards, then I would have my last name as theirs as well.
Bubie - I'm still waiting too!!....always thought I'd be on of the ones who's with their partner for 2 years and then get popped the question.............6 years down the track I'm still waiting lolz.......been popped the quesiton numerous times...just not with the ring!!...though I think that'll happen this year FX lol
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Bubie
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Posted: 27 January 2010 at 8:57pm |
Eva - Yeah my partner poped the question on me a couple of times and i always thinks he means it but then he never says anything about it after i say yes and then it's all forgotten about on his side  It's one of those things that i just cant wait to happen, but the more i wish for it the longer it seems to get lol 
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