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newmum View Drop Down
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    Posted: 15 March 2008 at 8:03am
NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Target.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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hooper View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hooper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 March 2008 at 8:37am
LOL thats so true.
Desiree


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Paws View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 March 2008 at 9:39am
So very very true....

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emachan View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emachan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 March 2008 at 7:01pm
that is quality!


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aussiegirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aussiegirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 March 2008 at 7:03pm
cool, I liked that one!
Mum to Hayley **30.6.08
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Leelee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Leelee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 March 2008 at 11:22pm
Our MC told a few these at our wedding and there was a few laughs
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caitlynsmygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caitlynsmygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 March 2008 at 11:39am
haha thats classic

lol at " a man is vaguely aware of short people living in the house "
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jack_&_charli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 March 2008 at 10:57am
hehe

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