| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
BaAsKa 
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3844
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Posted: 21 April 2009 at 7:25pm |
 MrsMojo wrote:
SMoody you did remind me though that I heard several times recently about the baby she lost at 6 months preg. She said the cord kept falling out I'm not sure what the medical term for that is. It is very sad and I understand that not being able to talk about it at the time (back in the 70s) probably means it's still quite raw but tbh at 6 months pregnant it was the last thing I wanted to hear about and I had to refrain myself from googling it for fear of scaring myself too much. |
I thinks its called a prolapsed cord
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
MrsMojo
Senior Member
Joined: 18 March 2008
Location: Wellington
Points: 8202
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 7:52pm |
caitlynsmygirl wrote:
oh sorry , Jo , i didn't mean it to sound like I was saying noone should criticise their MILs or anything, just that I was starting to feel a bit guilty myself for thinking that grandparents were a pain , had to remind myself that they aren't all bad |
No worries, I'm just feeling guilty for venting so thought I better add that disclaimer
|
|
|
|
tori13
Newbie
Joined: 19 April 2009
Points: 17
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 8:16pm |
Hey why is everyone feeling guilty!! We all know that we all love our in laws 2 bits..(i do) but you cant choose them and like family you are gonna disagree about many things, thats life. It is good to talk about it tho, today i have been feeling so much more relaxed about my MIL and dont feel too much frustration with her after talking about it and hearing other peoples stories. Of course we (most of us) love our MIL without her our children wouldn't have such wonderful daddies!!!  
|
|
|
|
Lexidore
Senior Member
Joined: 06 December 2008
Location: Stokes Vegas
Points: 4634
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 8:20pm |
|
Tori i like your way of thinking... just thought i would add a nice MIL story too
We are moving house in a couple of days and although i should possibly be complaining about being treated like a china doll and MIL taking over, im not im quite happy, she has told me not to worry about doing anything except taking my time to unpack at the new place, her and DP will do all the moving, and will also clean the old place. She's a little worried i think because i miscarried the last baby so she's trying to make everything as easy as possible for me and is even taking a day off work. This is one of the many reasons i love my MIL she would do anything for me and i find that very sweet!!
|
|
|
|
MrsMojo
Senior Member
Joined: 18 March 2008
Location: Wellington
Points: 8202
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 8:45pm |
I'm pleased to hear you're feeling better about things Tori.
You're right it is really important to vent when there are issues and as I mentioned earlier just as important is that you don't vent to DH as it's not fair on him being drawn into issues between 2 women he loves. Bluntly put based on mortality rates you're bound to be around longer than MIL anyway so when she really gets on your nerves remember you're younger and healthier.
|
|
|
|
lilfatty
Senior Member
Joined: 22 August 2007
Location: Waitakere
Points: 9799
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 9:09pm |
MrsMojo wrote:
I'm pleased to hear you're feeling better about things Tori.
You're right it is really important to vent when there are issues and as I mentioned earlier just as important is that you don't vent to DH as it's not fair on him being drawn into issues between 2 women he loves. Bluntly put based on mortality rates you're bound to be around longer than MIL anyway so when she really gets on your nerves remember you're younger and healthier. |
Ahhh Jo .. you just made our night (SD & I) .. I was laughing so hard he had to come and help me "breathe"
|
Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
|
|
fallen
Senior Member
Joined: 24 August 2008
Location: Oz
Points: 796
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 9:37pm |
|
Mother in law: History of mental illness, has had several goes at me for 'stealing her baby boy', is always in debt, always on the hunt for money and spending it on rubbish, likes to attempt suicide on a semi regular basis.
Father in law & wife: Mid life crisis anyone? Wife is younger than I am. Are moving to Canada in next few weeks despite having teenage children in Aussie.
Sister in law: 17 years old, living with other girl in lesbian relationship, has a hate relationship with DF, recently girlfriend and girlfriend's mother(!!!!) upset and offended me greatly with offensive comments sent to DF via facebook.
DF wants us all to move to Aussie so he can be close to his family.... um no.
|
|
|
|
caitlynsmygirl
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 8777
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 21 April 2009 at 10:20pm |
but they sound so ....er , appealing ! 
|
|
|
|
Babe
Senior Member
Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 April 2009 at 8:52am |
|
LOL yeah I'm with Kelly... hmmm....
|
|
|
|
Babe
Senior Member
Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 April 2009 at 9:01am |
Speaking of MILs my DPs mum isn't really my MIL or if she is she wishes she wasn't lol she told him he could only come down and visit her if I wasn't with him, refused to release part of his inheritance for a house deposit unless he broke up with me (obviously he didn't and we found another way to finance the house) and tells him I'm crazy and gonna ruin him 
Other than that we get along fine. DP doesn't care about what she says he treats her with great respect but tells her off if she gets too uptight lol its all good.
BUT what I was gonna say was DP recently told me that in the year between him and his sister being born his mum was pregnant and carried to fullterm but her baby was stillborn. This was 30 odd years ago! He doesn't understand why she never mentions it and him and his sister didn't find out til his sisters 21st birthday when one of the uncles mentioned that she was the third child lol abit of a surprise for her!! Anyway DP says he doesn't understand why its been brushed under the carpet and I had to explain that in those days the baby would have been taken away and it wouldn't have been mentioned again. I've realised (learning other things that have happened to her) that shes had a really difficult life and grew up in an era where nothing was talked about. I'm actually really sorry for her!!
|
|
|
|
tori13
Newbie
Joined: 19 April 2009
Points: 17
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 April 2009 at 9:43am |
|
fallen, what a great bunch, lol!!!
babe, what a woman!!! I cant actually believe people can be like that, good that DP is on to it tho. Yeah would have been hard in those days when stuff like that happened, you dont fully get to grieve:( Probably why she is so protective of him. But communication is the key to everything i reckon, if people learnt to communicate more there would be less problems in the world!!! (intense i know):)
Jo, i do agree, i would prefer not to put my DH in that position, he knows her silly comments anyway, he doesn't need to hear the rant from me:) He does put her in her place when she says dumb stuff, so thats all i can ask for i suppose.
bex, thats awesome that your MIL, is doin that, cool that you can relax. Actually my MIL was the same, we shifted when i was about 26 weeks preg, following a miscarriage also, so even tho i was that far along she wanted to do everything for me, i was very appreciative and let her help with some stuff but being the virgo i am, i cant just sit around watching i have to get in there, big belly and all!!! And when we came home with bubs she stocked up our pantry with the weekly shop and loads of goodies!! Gosh this chat isn't going to turn into a positive chat about MIL is it!!!:)
|
|
|
|
Phat_Cat
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 1442
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 April 2009 at 10:40am |
well my MIL relationship has (after 6 years) come to a tolorable place.
She never acknowledged mine & DH's engagement, didnt show any interest in Mr T until he was 6 months old, has only started offering to look after the boys since all the other grandchildren (apart from 2 boys) have now gone to oz. She too has told me that she will look after the boys for 3 days a week while I go back to work but we have said no - I do get a little annoyed as she does lie to us and says that she hasnt given the older one lollies (when there are lollies at the bottom of the carseat it is a dead give away) and the other day she tried taking Mr T off me when he had banged his head on the table but I said i am his mother he needs me but if you have an icepack that would be helpful. Luckily DH is supportive and on my side they (her children) know what a fruit loop she can be. Shes also said some nasty things about my mothering but I dont have a problem telling her to back off and one time stopped taking Mr T too see her cause of it and told her why - she seems to be getting better. My own mother on the other hand is quite the opposite - wont come up and visit - when i was having a hard time with R with his reflux and asked her to come and stay to help (she doesnt work) she told me no that paul was there to help me I dont need her !!??? told her that nana used to help her all the time with us kids to which she said thats cause she was a single mum. She didnt even come and see R when he was newborn and when she left R's baby shower I said to her I look forward to seeing her when R was born (it was in dec) she said no I will come up next year some time! makes me mad as she used to harp on at me to have kids as she wants grandchildren! Now my brother has had his first kid (and he lives in the same town as her as she moved to be near him as she felt he needed her) go figure!
best of luck trying to sort it out!
|
|
Tristen - 24/06/07
Rylan - 11/12/08
Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010
Curtis - 26/02/12
|
|
SpecialK
Senior Member
Joined: 29 August 2008
Location: New Zealand
Points: 1082
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 April 2009 at 9:00pm |
OMG I can't believe I have only just found this thread!
My mum sounds a lot like some of your MILs, and has been driving me NUTS lately! I think my main issue is that she doesn't ask me about what I want, or what my thoughts are, she just announces what she wants. Lately she decided that epidurals are all bad, and has spent the last week telling me horror stories - the girl who ended up incontinent, the woman who now can't walk etc. Then she announced that she wanted to be inthe delivery suite when I give birth, when I told her very firmly that I only want DH there she got very upset. Quite apart from everything else, she has a deep mistrust of doctors and all things medical, and is also prone to panicking so def would not want her there!!!
Then there is the need to criticise - whay am I only buying Pumpkin Patch clothes, other stores do them just as well (nevermind that everything was bought on sale); why am I going with cloth nappies, the overnaps look like cheap nylon; the nursery is cold and damp; told me I have to iron all baby's clothes and linen (WTF?!) and when I said I don't have the time, she replied well I will if you are too lazy
Now, I love my mum to bits and both my parents have been great and very generous. BUT. It all just gets a bit much... she also says things like "I am going to teach the baby such and such" or "you should give the baby a European name" (Uh, no - I like English names. I'm not from NZ, but have done most of my growing up here). Not really a big deal, but GRRRRR. My baby, I choose how I bring it up and look after it.
Ooops, sorry for the mega rant! It was all getting a bit much the last few days 
|
|
|
|
mrsturtle
Senior Member
Joined: 02 July 2008
Points: 1472
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 April 2009 at 10:22am |
|
After reading all about your inlaws im pretty lucky, both sets of parents live 3 hours away so dont see them that much. Although the "advice" over the phone is just as annoying. Although i must admit the lack of imput is also just as annoying lol they cant win!
One coment that got me rather fired up was from my dad im sure he didnt mean it but flippen heck not what you say. My wee girl has quite bad reflux and pretty much cries and screams all day (shes in her swing sleeping at mo dont know how long it will last though) Anyway dad said to me the other night "oh your sounding tired, gee shes really screaming isnt she? Oh well you asked for it. Arggg i knew she was going to cry and be a baby but come on!
|
|
becky
Senior Member
Joined: 03 December 2007
Location: Christchurch
Points: 628
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 April 2009 at 1:26pm |
|
Hey thought id pop in again my Mum is not quite as bad as my MIL cos I can tell her to shut up and she doesnt have a cry about it like MIL. But mum does keep saying stupid things like there might be something wrong with bubs cos he isnt crawling yet um hes only 7 months!! Also every time she sees him she gets in his face and goes "its grandma you love your grandma dont you" and she says your going to say grandma soon. Now my brother and sister just make fun of her my bro thinks shes lost some brain cells since bubs has been born must be a grandparent thing.
Now im jsut going to continue to do what I want my parents and inlaws know that they would never get away with telling me what to do. And next time I wont be announcing pregnancy till im further on MIL went out next day and told everyone even her bank teller so annoying esp since we said to keep it quiet!!
Glad your feeling better tori im also glad im not the only one that can have issues with inlaws!
Edited by becky
|
|
sweetpea
Senior Member
Joined: 14 July 2008
Location: Invercargill
Points: 1155
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 April 2009 at 2:21pm |
|
wish i could offer some advise but i don't have any in laws apart from a sister and technically a brother who didn't even come to the wedding along with his son. Don't even get me started on that one.
|
|
Mother in laws
