Never good enough?

I think I’m a very lucky girl with my DH. That’s not to say that we haven’t had these problems but we seem to be able to iron them out pretty easily.

I definitely think you need to go and get your hair done and do whatever is necessary to get some confidence back in yourself and I also agree with others that you need to sit down and have a chat with your DH. Be very firm with him that this is a discussion where you can both have your say and if he starts being petty or rude cut him off. If it keeps happening walk away and try again another time. Make it clear that you’re not there to argue or argue about past issues.
We sat down and wrote a list of all the things that needed to be done around the house and then divided it between us.
I also find that in order to get DH to respond well to any requests he has to be praised for what he has done. The more praise he gets the more he does of his own accord, men thrive on being made to feel the centre of the universe. Men are very simple things and it’s the way we talk to them that seem to make all the difference.
I would tell him you’re not happy. It’ll hit a nerve, no one likes to hear that but it needs to be said and it’s a wake up call that some things need to change. And make sure you say why you’re unhappy. You both need to have your say respectfully and then together you need to come up with the solution and then work on it. And hopefully over time it will get better. Otherwise the only other thing I can suggest is stop doing everything until he realises how much wouldn’t get done if you weren’t doing it. Of course take care of your son.

One more thing I would like to suggest is that the two of you have couple time. Not time to sit down and discuss issues but time for the two of you to ‘fall in love again’. At least once a month if you can possibly get a babysitter go out or even stay in and have couple time. Even if you’re doing something as silly as doing the lawns together and then sit and enjoy a beer together afterwards (if you drink?). DH loves it when I hang around while he’s doing the lawns, (I try to help but I’m hopeless). I think it’s easy to lose respect for someone if you’re not spending quality time together.

Good luck. Things will get better, everyone has their ups and downs.

And BTW – birthdays are non-negotiable, put a tiara on sit down and do nothing but eat cake!!