not coping

I can sympathise/empathise with the moving cities and struggling to meet people. Do you work? I don't (am a SAHM) and I think it is really hard to meet people when you don't. You just don't get those ready made social contacts handed to you like you do at work. I think time is a big factor - it will take at least 6 months, more realistically 1-2 years to settle somewhere.

I don't know what to say about your DF not understanding. If you are committed to staying with your DF (and the new city is absolutely where you have to stay as a family) you need to just keep getting out there. Even if you feel that you aren't meeting people/making friends you have to keep going to all the coffee groups and playgroups. I found this really hard as I am quite shy and really didn't want to keep going and feeling like the odd one out but did persevere. And it does pay off.

Not sure how old you child is but have you considered playcentres and contacting plunket for an idea about some support groups? If you have any hobbies is your DF able to look after your child while you get out to an evening class/gym etc?

If you really struggle to settle though I guess you need to lay the facts out for him and ask him to consider your point of view. Is it realistic/possible for you to move back to where you are from? In my case DH is the sole worker so his job has to take priority. I understand missing family etc as this is something I really struggle with and my family live in England so no easy way round it. This wasn't really an option for us as we have to move for DH's work ( and at this point he can't work in England) and that is the decision we made.

Don't know if this has helped but I didn't want to rad and run

2 months is not long at all- Ive never felt settle anywhere Ive moved after only 2months. Like Caro said- it takes at least 6months-a year to feel settled. Ive found the opposite from her tho- I have found it a million times easier to meet people since being a mum than before. I work part-time and have been at that job over 3 years but still dont see any of those people socially at all.
I moved to Gisborne a week after #1's first birthday- I actually posted on Ohbaby asking to meet people that live here- Im still realy good friends with the first person I met here- and that was through Ohbaby 4 1/2 years ago!

It would be really really hard suddenly being away from family tho- maybe lkook into some fun stuff that you.DP and baby can all do in the weekend together- starting off your own family outtings and traditions! Sounds like u would have to think of stuff , tell him its important to you and hopefully he'll be keen to do them too. It will be much easier hwn your baby is a bit older too and can really enjoy going to playground etc etc as a family.

Our plunket here have a "new to Gisborne Group", so maybe there is something like that u could go to.

There will honestly be heaps of other people around feeling just as isolated with a young baby as you are. You just gotta make the effort and find them! Could be as simile as chatting to another mum at the local park/shop/playground and asking what groups are about etc. Good luck! It WILL get easier!

What town have you moved too? Maybe put up a Hello Im new in town thread in here. or join the Dec due thread see if their is anyone in same town as you. Definately try to get to plunket/coffee groups. Get their numbers and initiate a time/place for catch ups. are you on facebook, set up private group with people you meet to chat too.

Some mothers are terrible at never arranging any coffee meetings. with my 1st baby one day when baby was about 5weeks I rung every mum on the anti natel list (that had landlines) and said Hi, have you had your baby, blah blah its me from anti natel group etc. Lets met up and it all started from there out of the 8 woman in the group I now have 4 very close friends

You are not alone, being SAHM can be very lonely sometimes. Reach out you will find some new mummy friends for sure!

Sorry to hear you are finding things rough - do you have a playcentre close to you? That would prob be a good way to meet other mums. Hope things improve, let us know where you are, someone who lives by you might be feeling the same way!

It is really hard settling into a new place. I have been away from family for 12 years and have had three country moves in that time and in my opinion its tough whether you are working or a SAHM.

The other ladies are right, perserverance will eventually pay off and you really do have to put yourself out there. Even if you only meet one or two people you click with thats all you need. Getting out and about with DF during the weekend is also a good idea.

I find skype a great way of staying in touch with family and often just seeing my mum on screen makes me feel better!

Hang in there and be patient it does take time to get used to a new place and get over homesickness.

Ally_cat there is nothing "stupid" about how you are feeling. For some people being away from family and friends is very very hard and for others its easier. I think the others are right in terms of getting out and meeting people but you should also look at getting out with your partner and meet some other couples as this will allow you to create a social group in Hamilton. Do you have any hobbies that you could look for local groups, e.g. walking?

There are buses in Hamilton so why don't you use those?

Two months is not a very long time to get settled in, I have been in Chch for a year and made no friends but then I am working so don't have the opportunities to go to things with DS where I would meet people. Plus i can't really be bothered after a day of working if I am honest - maybe your partner feels a bit that way too.

Like NewMum said, look for a group of people who share the same interests as you such as a similar hobby, most parent groups will have a real range of people and it is probably easier to start a friendship based on a common interest (other than kids).

You can't expect other people to make all the effort, try talking to the people at the groups you are going to, maybe take some baking along one week to get chatting over...sounds lame maybe but it is a starting point. Or if there is something you are interested in, take something along as a prop to get a conversation started. Obviously not a gun or hunting knife if you are into hunting lol...

i have been using the buses. i know it takes time but i am feeling like its really overwhealming at the moment.

@Bessiebear. that would be cool! id love to meet some other mums!

thanks.
yea i know thats what every1 is telling me that it take 6 to 12months to settle in.
im just finding it hard as we had such a great group of friends in chch and even though i did spend alot of time during the day alone like i am here my mum would pop in at lunch or after school on her way home or my brother or sister would come over after work and i had a friend who would come over after work as she worked early mornings so would come over and we would go for walks or have lunch together and i had my uni friends i could go n have coffee with at lunch time and stuff.

and i am finding it really hard not being able to see family whenever as we dont have the money to go back very often.
ive been goin to playgroups and coffee groups here but it takes time to form friendships which i am finding quite hard to do.

yup i have been keeping an eye on them. thanks for all the support. :)