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myfullhouse 
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 Posted: 17 August 2010 at 7:24pm |
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That's great, glad you have some support!
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amme_eilyk
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Joined: 30 September 2009
Location: Feilding
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 8:19pm |
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that sounds great nicola, good to see you finally getting that support.
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 8:26pm |
not sure how long she will stay as even dh has to go home after 10pm on any night ...not if im in labour though haha
now i kinda feel guttered dad isnt coming up ahaha hes the only other one, but mum i actualy want in the birthing room with me and mat so shes the only one that "needs" to be there i guess
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 18 August 2010 at 7:08am |
iv had the worst sleep ALL pregnancy, got up three times (so unlike me) and now cant go back to bed coz i feel like i need to pee SUPER bad, oh the pressure im in tears from the lack of sleep as well as the pain, Dh is upset coz he hates seeing me like this...so im just sitting here trying to "hold on" to an empty bladder, freaking rediculous!!
we have thunder here, i dont like it, never have, the sound is just so angry to me or something.......hope everyone else is as snug as a bug! 
im up on the couch while dh is snug as a bug in bed, hes getting the lie in for a change lol though hes complained he missed the thunder!! I WISH!!!
Im a bit anxious about my mw appt today as shes made a long appt as she reckons theres alot to cover....i just know part of that is a yucky strep B swab test  , maybe an internal which im so embarrassed about but want to know, something must be happening by now surely,...i want this baby out!!! but the thing im worried most about is that shell have a copy of that letter from the sleep study im in informing her that i have a higher than normal edinborough score which can indicate depression....especially when she raised me falling back into my older (1st trimester) ways at my last appt two weeks ago...sigh...part of me wants to go back on the drugs to just make myself feel a little bit happier every day but part of me wants to try and fight this out, though i failed last time and probably should have sought help sooner...im not sure about alot these days, my marriage, my home, my animals, my life....one thing i do know is that im sure i want charlotte and i want her OUT!!
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Nutella
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 18 August 2010 at 10:11am |
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Nic, don't feel like you have to do it alone ay, your midwife is there to help you and if you really don't want to go on meds then she might have some other ideas. Why is it so bad to go on meds, is there a reason you don't want to, will it affect baby?
DH is on meds for his depression and probably will be for life, just is part of him ya know?
Back to other topics, good news about your mum coming, that will be good to have her support.
Re the driving....am I so old that I didn't even know there were different licences for manual vs auto?? I never even knew that lol...obviously wasn't around when I got mine about 20 years ago...how depressing....but then there were mostly manuals back in those days.
Don't feel embarrassed about the internal, it is so not a biggie. I had a Dr try to do a stretch and sweep when I was overdue and he couldn't reach my cervix so I had lots of poking and prodding...they have seen it all before!!
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Nutella
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Posted: 18 August 2010 at 10:13am |
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Oh and re the pressure have you tried raising the lower half of you with pillows to move Charlotte up off your bladder? Not sure but also all fours would prob take pressure off too?? If you have a beanbag could rest on that.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 18 August 2010 at 7:36pm |
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Tali I'm with you on the driving/license thing...!! And the internal - no big deal... by the end of your labour you won't care!!
Post natally I had cellulitis after my c-section and had high temperatures. I was so hot that I used to walk around in my underwear in the hospital room (private room). The midwives didn't mind too much... but the prudish physio that came in looked very uncomfortable hahaa and post baby belly I must've looked a pretty hideous sight but I did not care. Clothes made me sweat too much.
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amme_eilyk
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Posted: 18 August 2010 at 8:40pm |
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I wouldnt stress about the internals nic, i'm pretty sure they make them look worse on tv than they are. I had gynae surgery last year, so I have had a whole theatre full of people looking down there plus several different nurses and doctors and it is no stress.
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 20 August 2010 at 5:56pm |
well dont know if any of you have stalked my due in thred but we had a big wed!!
18/08/2010
woke up with intense pressure on bladderfelt nauseated and no matter how much i ate i felt staving
had hot shower and when i came out mat commented that my legs were blueand when he touched them they were ice cold!I looked down my ankles had also dissappeared into my claves withswelling.
Mw appointment - Blood pressure seemed normal and she couldnt explain the intense swelling or that they were blue and cold to the touch.I told her that he movement was very low especially today and i wasexperiencing alot of braxton hicks.
She did a pee test which was also negative.
She referred me to the hospital for monitoring.
Hospital appointment - was there for 5 hours all up.
Was put on a CTG machine for over an hour which showed that she had anawesome heart rythem and that she was indeed moving around fine...It also showed that i was having regular tightenings...they then drew bloods and did a urine sample which were also fine...By this time wed been there well over two hours...they then got the doc in and he did a scan which showed her head down, the cord was up by her neck but flowing at a really good rate.It also showed that the amnio fluid level was on the lower side of normal also will have to be watched and if i make it to my EDD i will be scanned then and not left till the normal 41 weeks. I am to have Blood pressure monitoring 3 times a week as my BP there was (first reading) 150/110 and (second reading) 139/90 which is highfor me!!! im usually about 110/60 lol!
DOC thinks this might be the start of pre-eclampsia :(
She is very posterior however so need to work on that, not that we didnt already know...By the time i had the scan i was contracting with period type cramps every15mins...so they did an internal which showed me at 1cm dialated.
The doctor said it doesnt sound like im in labour just yet but could go anytime.
On the car ride home they have so far got down to every 10mins...
***so got the internal haha*** wasnt so bad afterall ...swelling is slightly better now and BP check on thurs showed higher than normal for me but not over their "PE numbers" so they arent too concerned...so now im just back to riding out the false labour and waiting...sigh...
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amme_eilyk
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Posted: 20 August 2010 at 6:38pm |
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oh no nic, thats the last sort of excitement that you would have wanted. I am happy that you and bubs are doing ok and fingers crossed that the dreaded pe stays far far away. and also fingers crossed that you pop sooner, rather than later.
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myfullhouse
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Posted: 20 August 2010 at 7:44pm |
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Sorry to hear about the *dramas* but great that you and baby are OK. I hope that she decides to make an appearance soon!
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girly_girl
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Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Orewa, NZ
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 7:52pm |
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Oh Nic, I have just found your thread hun, and to be honest its like reliving my journey. Don't be afraid of the meds hun, its the very best thing I have ever done. I left it faaaaaarrrrr too long before doing anything about it as I was sooo scared, and really probably should have been on AD's during 3rd trimester. But as it was, I didn't even acknowledge there was an issue (other than my uncontrollable anger at other peope - namely my DH and his family, and my dad) so it wasn't until I said to DH that I was leaving that I considered it - and he realised the extent of the problem. Big ups to you for having that conversation huni its not an easy thing to do by any means!!
I started meds when DS was 4months old and ended up with an Edinburgh score of 27 eeeeekkkk!!!! I had a week away from home with my sister and the recovery process has been slow but really worthwhile. Do you have a family centre nearby? Mine had a group for mums and mums to be with PND and it was really worthwhile to know that I wasn't alone in my thoughts and situation. My best support network is those ladies now. If not get onto MMH and see what they can do for you, they maybe able to offer more practical advice for your situation.
ANY time you want to PM me or chat - just hollah hun. xoxoxoxoxo
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Nutella
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 8:11pm |
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Wow Nic, at least things are happening, even tho a bit scary. How is the swelling going? I should be stalking the due in thread but I am not very good at that!!
might go stalk now tho lol
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 8:23pm |
swelling is still there and getting very painful!!
girlygirl i just snappes today, we were printing pics in the warehouse so i was doing all the ones i wanna scrap for charlotte and i went through their papers and books etc as i havnt got an album yet...anyway i bought it round to dh who was sitting at the photo booth going through pics and once we were done (we had to wait an hour for processing) i showed him the few bits i wanted and how much it was...he basically said to me its a waste of time and money as ill NEVER even do coz i was going to with our wedding ones and still havnt lol...anyway im dead set to do them for charlotte!!...i just got upset and said "yes i will, i want this for her" and he basically shot me down again with "um how many other scrapbooks do we have that you havnt done?" and i looked at the stuff and realised he might be right...so i just said "k ill put it back and use what iv got first to prove it" and starting walking back tot eh craft isle...meanwhile hes hot on my heals saying "no no well buy it hun, if you want it...no dont go putting it back coz ill just pick it up again and buy it"....it made me furious and to make matter worse the isle had like 6 people down it so i placed the things down where i got them and then started to walk away...OMG HE PICKED THEM UP and tried to follow me so i whipped round and said "i dont f**king want them now put them the f**k down!!"
the looks i got were so....demeening that i just ran away 3 isles over to the shoes where i sat and cried!!! i was so embarrassed by my own reaction and him!
im still angry at him and embarressed as my lil brother whos staying witnessed it all and looked very awkward standing like meters back from us while we fought in the shoe isle!
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girly_girl
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 9:17pm |
Oh hun, yes that is exactly how it goes. I always found my anger felt like red hot pokers, and it was nearly always followed by tears. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but you are definitely not alone. Talk to your mw hun, she has your best interests at heart - and if you can't talk to her then write a letter hun. I often find the written word is easier - you can proof it and get your real meaning across.
I saw your poor feet on FB too - time to keep those tootsies up (higher than your heart if possible). Its not long now, look after yourself - you are the most important (it took me a very long time to come to realise this) - its hard to fathom, but you are. Without you everything else falls apart.
Kia kaha  xx
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girly_girl
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 9:51pm |
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Ok, now its my turn to be scared. I'm in the middle of changing from citalopram to fluox and I'm in such a bad way - you name it I have it. I thought the Waikato river looked like a good option yesterday.
I'm off to MMH tomorrow to their critical care team and I'm packing myself... this just blimmin well sucks the big one (PND that is!)
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 10:01pm |
OMG!! hugs hun!! nothing is worth taking your life over!! EVER! i tried cutting years ago, was too hurt myself never kill myself but one slip and i could have!!!
Im glad your seeking help, that show some true courage that im yet to do...my mum is on fluox and is really good so dont be scared hun!!
my cell is 0273353061 if you need a chat urgently k, anytime!
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girly_girl
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Posted: 25 August 2010 at 5:36pm |
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Back from my visit with the crisis team at mental health and the news is that I have had a severe reaction to the prozac that they put me on. So I have to stop it IMMEDIATELY, and start taking lorazipam for my anxiety as a temporary measure until the prozac is cleared out of my system and I can start my new antidepressant. Meanwhile the crisis team is going to call me daily to check up on me. Whew - I'm not losing my mind after all and there is a valid reason for what is going on THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Nic, I've added you to my phone xoox
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 25 August 2010 at 5:49pm |
PHEW im glad your ok, iv had you in my thoughts the whole time hoping ya havnt done anything silly!!
im glad they could sort it all out for hun and that youll be back to reality soon lol...nothing like a meds F**K up to send you down nutters row aye...
i was suppsoed to be referred for assessment etc but i havnt heard anything....sigh....
im having some accupunction done tomorrow for pre labour type stuff, mw suggested i give it a go...not sure how effective it will be as not sure i really believe in that stuff since the seabands acupressure bands didnt help me at all...we shall see.
im having lots of meltdown moments, weve lost my dogs tags and loked everywhere and they have dissappeared..ended up slamming everything in anger yet crying in frustration...and when we went to mw today dh had pissed me off a little bit with his lack of help around the house so was a bit grumpy and to be honest almost about to cry in the waiting room and feel really miserable...then when my mw asked how things were going like she always does at the start i had to bite my lip to stop myself crying and just said fine...just over it...
i so hate it....its like all the preggy hormone sh*t has hit at once, and suffering false labour over and over is just making everything worse!! i had 5 hours of 8min apart contractions on mon that just stopped at 10pm...
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 25 August 2010 at 5:52pm |
also, i know every tells me that i wont care in the end as all ill be focused on will be getting her out but....im really upset and anxious about the fact that thurs through sun (my EDD) next week my mw will be totally un accessible at a conference!!!
i want HER there not some random, although the accupuncturist tomorrow is her back up (well one of them) so i will meet her but i need that bond if you know what i mean,....i dont just trust anybody! especially down there!
im also anxious about the accupuncture as iv never done it before and i have to drive to otaki to do it and its not till 11am....i like things to be first thing to help my anxiety as i can get up and go so waiting around isnt going to help!!
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SCARED!!!
Oct 11
