Seeking: your views for OHbaby! article

This is a hard one, because my mum wasn't a typical mum, she worked while my dad stayed at home as he had an accident and hasn't worked fulltime in nearly 30 years. That meant that my upbringing has been a bit skewed on the 'normalities' of family life a generation ago.

I think we have it easier, but they had it simpler. For example, there is the choice of disposable nappies yet I still use cloth as I refuse to spend the crazy amount of $ sposies cost on something that stinks out my bin. I also see it as laziness when MCN's are so easy to use (sorry, opinion here!). Both hubby and I were formula babies (Dh because his mum didn't like it, me because mum couldn't feed properly), so it's the same as it was with my kids.
They had washing machines like us, we are lucky to have a dryer though, I still wash my woollens by hand so no change there (although I hear people wash them in the machine but I just can't do that when someone's spent time on a beautiful handcrafted outfit). The day to day stuff isn't much different from my mum's day, but going back another generation, of course it took longer.

The thing that gets me is how much is expected from society, of mothers now. I choose to work fulltime (I could stay at home but we couldn't even afford a $4 music session a week as the one activity Jack and I did) as we will be in a more comfortable position in a few years time. As for DH helping out, it rarely happens. He is away most of the year (army) and when he's home, he's too tired or too busy catching up on cutting the trees back etc to help out with a break for me. So in that regard, working fulltime, being a single mother most of the time while dealing with one child that gets sick a lot (immune disorder) and keeping up appearances that all is well is hard.

I do have family around me that help out, for eg my MIL comes over on a Friday to look after the kids as we can't afford 5 days of daycare. My parents take the kids once a month so I can catch up on some sleep, but other than that we don't have that 'village' around us.

Life is so full of stress that I am on migraine meds 3x daily, anti-depressants, 4 different types of vitamins (as I get sick and my hair is falling out from the stress of the last few months). Life was a lot slower back then and you could breathe, from what I have heard.

I wouldn't have wanted to live 50-60 years ago compared to now, but would definitley be happy to live 30 years ago as it was a better balance of life (minus the stockmarket crash!). Life today isn't balanced enough for the majority of us working class. Affordability of housing etc is crazy. But we roll with the punches around here, although I must say not being able to be there for my son who is now looking at going on anti anxiety meds and going to counselling at 3 years old is NOT what I ever had in mind for my life, and I know that if I was a SAHM I could help him through the earthquake stuff better, but I barely see him.

Sorry long post, but basically I hope you got from that, that I think life is easier from a day-to-day perspective, but overall it's more complicated and more stressful.

lilfatty wrote: I think we have more choice now. For example I returned to work and my partner stayed home .. that would not have been the done thing back in the day. Everything is quicker and easier these days .. I mean my parents walked to school in bare feet in the snow (or so I am led to believe) ;)

Uphill both ways, wasn't it?

millymollymandy I liked your post it was a good read & I think what you said about unrealistic expectations is so true.

I think that is one thing I have struggled with now & then.

I haven't read all the replies and I am just wanting to put this here as I am a parent of teenagers as well - which I think is harder these days because of things like Facebook etc... their peers as so much more 'open' on things and will quite happily say things through there which they would of never had the guts to say face to face.

But then if your a parent like me who has their childs facebook password you can monitor these things to a point but once said and read its hard to take back.