New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Things you can do for a new mum...
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login


Forum LockedThings you can do for a new mum...

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Katherine View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 949
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Katherine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Things you can do for a new mum...
    Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:10pm

I'd love to compile a list of things that visitors can do for new mums when they inevitably turn up to visit the new baby. What kinds of nice things did people do for you when you first had your baby? What did you WISH they had done? Let's make a great big list!

I'll start:

* Bring me a casserole that will keep in the fridge or freezer for a couple of days -- it's not like I have time to cook!
* For pity's sake, RING before you come and ASK if it's okay to come round. Don't just turn up! Don't! I don't care how close we are!

Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Paws View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 5860
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:20pm
I'll agree with the casserole and the ringing first!!

Also:

*you are welcome to tea and coffee - you know where the kitchen is and I'll have my tea white with 2 sugars thanks!

What's also been great is people who offer to pick stuff up for you when they come around or who come with morning tea/lunch without even being asked!

Back to Top
Bombshell View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 6665
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bombshell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:34pm
Ok but here is a question i have - a friend had her bubs now four weeks ago - she said she would call us (her friends) and none of us have heard...we got the baby name from her best friend, and her boss got email photos to circulate(they are not techno savvy so expected that)....but now we have all stayed away and noone heard from her - what do WE do??? do we wait and see or ring and risk annoying a first time nervous mum - we had wanted to help her out....????
Back to Top
Paws View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 5860
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:40pm
Well personally after 4 weeks I wouldn't be shy about giving her a call, seeing how things are and sussing out a visit. So long as she knows she's not expected to "entertain" as such I wouldn'tahve thought there would be an problem.

I personally had no issues with visiting once home so long as people rang/texted.

Give her a call, the worst she can do is say she doesn't want visitors yet.

Back to Top
Katherine View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 949
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Katherine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:41pm
Can you send her a txt? I would txt her or ring her and say you'd love to bring her some baking and see the baby for 20 minutes, when it's a good time for her, and then let her tell you when that good time might be. She might just be expecting people to turn up at her place (as they ALWAYS do, right at the beginning) and may be wondering where you are! If she's a friend, I'd say that it HAS been 4 weeks, so you could tell her you wanted to give her some time to settle in and you're hoping she'll have a little bit of time for you to visit.
Back to Top
Guests View Drop Down
Guest
Guest
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 6:06pm
I would pop her an email coz u know that if she can find time to check her email she will have time to reply and your not disturbing her. Maybe shes finding it a little overwhelming at the moment?

When parents came to stay they did housework, washing, cooking, you name it they did it and it was sooo helpful!!!

I think just being supportive and offer to help in anyway possible?!
Back to Top
my2angels View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3943
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my2angels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:05pm
I would get in touch, by now its been long enough for her to get settled plus also if she hasnt contacted anyone maybe she is feeling a bit out of her depth but doesnt want to ask for help. Some adult company might be welcome.

Edited by my2angels
Back to Top
Andie View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 3614
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:07pm
The casserole idea is a great one, and I think the idea of asking if there's anything they need picked up from town is a winner too.  A friend bought a cake over today and we were ravenous for it - totally appreciated it.  We asked people to ring or tect first, and that's worked really well for me. 
Andie
Back to Top
my2angels View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3943
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my2angels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:08pm
Oh and on the things people can do for new mum, one thing a friend does for me all the time is fold my washing. She knows its something i hate doing and its hard finding time to do with a newborn. Also bring some food, just muffins or a coffee/hot chocolate etc even if the new mum has said no dont worry cos often you feel rude asking people to pick something up for you. Plus it means you dont have to feel pressured in making the visitor coffee or food.
Back to Top
ellabellame View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Hokitika
Points: 1325
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ellabellame Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:40pm
when my friend had her new baby, i used to go round there and do the dishes and then look after the baby so she could have a shower.

Back to Top
mum2paris View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Palmy
Points: 6611
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:43pm
lol my mum used to fold my washing and I'd actually get titchy cos that's one thing i like doing and she would fold everything differently so i would HAVE to refold it.

Bringing stuff is nice.
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

Back to Top
aimeejoy View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Dannevirke
Points: 6415
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aimeejoy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:10pm
Keep your visit short please... I remember people turning up just as I was about to go off for a nap and then stay ages! I felt too rude to ask them to go, but 20-30 minutes would prob be a good amount of time.

I was also going to suggest fold the washing if you see a huge pile on the couch...
Aimee

Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
Back to Top
meow View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 2417
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote meow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:11pm
Originally posted by mum2paris mum2paris wrote:

lol my mum used to fold my washing and I'd actually get titchy cos that's one thing i like doing and she would fold everything differently so i would HAVE to refold it.

Bringing stuff is nice.


I like doing things my way too, but really, if someone is offering to do it for you, why complain? It took me a while of DP doing things for me to realise that in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter

For the new parents, I make a meal/some baking.. we are the first in our group of friends to have a baby, so we haven't really had the chance to do things for others yet.

One thing my mum did (and still does when she visits) is to do the dishes.. it is such a big help! and sometimes she will clean the bathroom or do other chores if I let her.. I feel guilty sometimes that she is doing my housework!

A pamper pack like a magazine, some chocolate, bubble bat etc in a little paper carry bag make a nice gift for the new mum too

Back to Top
busymum View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 12236
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:40pm
meow my mum used to help out with dishes too yay! (we have a dishwasher now). One thing I had trouble with was getting washing in/out, my MIL would ask if there was any needing moved. Vacuuming? That was something I was not able to do immediately after c/s. When I was staying at the hospital I needed morning/afternoon tea to eat while I was b/fing.

Looks like everything else is covered - calling first, bringing food, not staying long (it's amazing how tired you get!)
Back to Top
my2angels View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3943
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my2angels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:54pm
Oh and if they are a really good friend I would suggest going round and making thier bed/bedroom all nice.
I know the main thing I kept telling hubby i wanted to come home to was a nice clean bedroom and new sheets and covers on it but he forgot each time. I would have been so nice after horrible hospital sheets and bed. Of course if they werent such a close friend it might be a bit strange to be changing thier sheets lol
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.05
Copyright ©2001-2022 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.938 seconds.