lots about 2nd birth! title wont let.....

me fit it all in lol, it's going to be a bit of an all over the place post, and quite the novel by the time I have my thoughts in order. Okay...so...
DD is 18months ish (check the ticker)

I went to a small country birthing unit, in a place I know very very well, and it made me feel the most comfortable. I had decided on gas and touch as pain relief, we had MIL, Mum, DH an MW present. Labour was established and progressing well when we turned up.

I love this place because its A.) not a hospital, B.) quiet, C.) Roomy, & D.) the location. I love it even more when it's only now twenty minutes away as opposed to the hour it would take me to get into Chch central!

Things went wrong. My birthplan wasn't followed, MW tried giving me herbal pills when I asked for gas, and my what was eyeing up to be a 6 hour labour stopped after I was pushing too hard for too long. What when wrong depends on who you ask. It ranges from me not knowing how to push, to the mw asking me to push at 8cm dialated.

Anyways after well over an hour of pushing rightly or wrongly,( I want to say 3 but would have to check the notes). I was eventually transfered by ambulance to Chch Woman's. I was given a semi sucsessful epi for the pain, a drip to restart labour etc etc. Eventually DD was born using the ventouse (sp?), and I was forced to feed incredibly quickly by a student mw who didn't even have my permission to be in the room. I was pissed by this...I desperately wanted to feed but was so nervous about it and needed the skin to skin, and someone to teach me clearly, not haphazardly.

So....there are obviously a few descrepencies with how that birth went. Thing is, I wanna do it again my way anyways.

My mothers labours have all been simple and quick, the longest being 9 hours. Mine could have been, from what I can tell. No long term muscular damage has been done to my back as first suspected. Town is ages away from my place, and I want to stay close to hubby and daughter for recovery.

After talking it over with my MW, the plan this time is going to be to hang out at my place for as long as possible. Too close to womans and I'm GOING to have that epi, and other medication. DH won't be as involved as he could be. ChchW is the super safe option yes, but we'd only be going because I've freaked myself into it and therefore I'm on the back foot before I begin. I could just go straight to the unit out our way, but then I may slow labour down by getting anxious about a repeat performance.

The inlaws live crazily close, they aren't our neighbours but they may as well be! They'll be able to pick my daughter up at the drop of a hat. We can have the bath, our room etc to hang out in. I can use heat and touch, the two things I respond most too, we have the use of a tens machine. The MW will come out, and monitor from pretty early on in case she believes we need the trip to Chch, & to tell us when we have to go to the birthing unit if I can progress well at home. For DH, it means he can really be there for me without being concerned about others watching him, it'll just be us. (he's an incredibly intraverted fella).

Am I stupid for even considering not going in to Chch? I mean, what if I really was at fault and I don't know how to push? And I think, although the birthplan as it sounds would be dreamy for me, that I need to thrash this out with a professional counciller of some sort just so that I can be 100% confident in my decision to avoid Chch womans, but who? and where? And has anyone else repeated the same birthplan after it went wrong the first time?

Thanks for reading my rambles guys xox

Edited by Flake

Yep I think go with the home then birthing unit plan, as you know from your first experience you will go to the hospital if things start to go pear shape but I don't see the need to plan to go there, just know that it is always there as a back up. And you can always change your mind once in labour, nothing is set in stone.

I personally tried to go to a birthing unit for a VBAC but wasn't allowed so did birth at CWH with my 2nd child. My mw was awesome though, no univited students or anything like that and we just stayed at home as long as poss before making the 40min drive to womens. Then they had a 27 week lady in with triplets so I was the least of their concerns and got left alone which meant I was able to labour for longer than they normally let you and push for longer too (all under the careful eye of my mw of course).

That's odd about the not knowing how to push cos as soon as it got to the pushing stage I found I didn't need to know cos my body did and just took over, I was just along for the ride, I would think it's the same for everyone not like anyone goes for pushing lessons or has a practice run.

Can I ask which birthing unit it was? You do what YOU feel is right for YOU. Not anyone else! i mean, CHCHW is ages away, I have the same problem. None of this 'wait til contractions are 4-5 mins apart and then head in'. no, i'll have a baby in the car on the way if that's the case! lol

My boy was born at 30 weeks, and if anyone didn't know how to push it was me! I never got up to that part of the book lol.
So I think that bit makes no sense, if you have the right people with you, and you are as relaxed and in control as you can be, then you and your body will probably get it together.

The best place for you to birth is where you feel safe.

I agree, very odd! I had way too much epidural, so I had no idea when to push or if I even was half the time. We hadnt even discussed my birthplan properly, and things felt all over the place.

You will know what the best thing for you is, it is important to feel safe and comfortable.

i think so long as you have a different mw then doing it as closely to your plan as possible sounds good.

I think you can totally do it at the birthing unit, as long as you feel totally comfortable with your midwife, that will give you the confidence you need. I birthed at a birthing unit with my first and plan on doing it again, I totally trusted my MW to know if I needed to go to CWH (over an hour away). I was lucky to have a pretty straight forward delivery about 6 or so hours.

As long as you are comfortable with your decision that is the most important thing.

As for the pushing thing my MW as always said they have never met any woman that did not know how to push!

She might be the other end and be out at Lincoln

The Rangiora one is bloody marvelous just on a side note ;)

Hey flake, just as an aside - I mentioned to DH about your midwife telling you you didn't know how to push, and he just went WTF?! He is a dr and has delivered a few babies in his time, he was just stunned that a midwife would say that!

I also saw an article in a little treasures mag from june/july 2009 called 'Natural Birth - is it for me?" and there is some good info there about making the right choice for you. I could copy and send it to you if you like?