Most terrifying night of my life.

Things here have been interesting.. Ayja has her days and nights very mixed up.. she only wakes every 3 hours during the day, yet ever since the first night, i have only gotten about 10 minutes of dozing each hour during the night between 8 pm and 4 am... when she usually settles down for a couple of hours. I am very very very sleep deprived, so is mike, and mel as well. Her cry is very sharp - not like Paris's at all. and she has alot of trouble with wind , which i think is why she is so bad at night.. you put her down and within a few minutes she is screaming the house down and the only way to stop it is feed her.. a viscious circle.

Sleepness nights have really taken their toll though.

Last night was possibly the most terrifying night of my entire life. I had been feeling a lot less tired than the last few nights. but well, that obviously wasn't true.

I had fed her, about 1 am, and she had gone back to bed. I had just picked her back up out of bed cos she had that windy cry again. and was sitting on our bed, with my back up against the head board.. it must have been about 2 seconds later that i FELL ASLEEP. I woke as she fell from my arms, and hit the floor head first. she screamed, then stopped.

I tell you i have never moved so damn fast in my entire life, i cannot even say how she hit, or how she was lying, i was down there and picking her up so fast. I just sat, I couldn't move for a few mins..then Mike and mel woke to me sobbing uncontrollably..just saying "i fell asleep, i fell asleep"...and freaked out cos they couldn't get any other words out of me and Ayja was so quiet.

we went straight up to the hospital.. and stayed in overnight.. she has had a huge lump come up on her head, taking up the whole left side of her head, and is about 1 - 2 cms high.. full of fluid and blood. They said it's under the skin and tissue, but don't think it's under the skull or anything. It's horrible. and she has bruises on her eyes, from them haivng to pry her eyes open all through the night to check her pupils etc. my poor baby looks like she has been beaten up.
we go back tomorrow for re-assessment, and every day afterwards until it has gone down and they are satisfied with her condition. they did blood tests and her haemoglobin level is fine which means she isn't bleeding heavily at this time. we are just watching and waiting .. don't think i will ever forgive myself if she has any damage.

so yep, just a post to tell you all, may be a while before i am back on here.

please.. iuf you are sleepy you other new mummies... get up to feed.. do anything to avoid having this happen. i wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Janine, Oh my gosh. How awful for you. But Nikki is right...It could've happened to ANY of us. I'm sure Ayja will be fine. And as for you, DON"T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT THIS. THIS WAS A FREAK ACCIDENT. YOU ARE A GREAT MUM!!!!!!

Oh Janine, how awful. I'm sure she is going to be fine, and the others are right it could happen to anyone. THinking about you and bubs.

Janine.....I can't imagine how you feel right now, but I also think it was just an accident. Think positive!! I am sure Ayja will be fine.

AND..YOU ARE A GREAT MUM....never think otherwise.

OMG Janine, how scary for you! I dropped Maya out of the Jolly Jumper onto the wooden floor at home when she was 3mths and she had to go to hospital too, but she was fine, and I'm sure Ayja will be too.

Don;t beat yourself up about it, it could happen to anyone. I used to often fall asleep when I was breastfeeding Maya, and it is only but for the grace of God that she never fell or was hurt. Sleep deprivation is like torture, and bound to takes it's toll on us Mums.

You are an awesome Mum, and I am sure little Ayja will be fine. Keep your head up, it will get easier.

Hope all is well, I am sure it will be. I am sure we are all thinking of you, stay strong!

Hey Lizzle just came on the site to ask the same thing. I've been thinking about them none stop since she posted. What a scary thing for them all to have to go through. It's horrible how bad sleep deprivation can affect you. Hopefully she knows we are all thinking about her and Ajya, and isn't beating herself up. I'm guessing almost everyone has a story about a close call they have had when they were exhausted.

I only just read this post...

Hopefully mum and bubs are doing well...and I hope she knows that we are all thinking of her.

They'll be in my prayers.

Tell us if you hear anything becs. I've been thinking about her, how it could have soooooo easily been me. We were talking at work and it was surprising the amount of "drops" people's kids have had. My friends wife dropped their eight month old down the stairs. he had a fracture in his skull!!!! Now, you'd never know! thank goodness!!!!

Hey ladies thank you for all your messages. Things are settling back down again now. The bump on Ayja's head has almost dissapeared, and has just left a nasty purple bruise that will probably take a while to fade, others have said they can't notice it too much, but i know it's there so notice it more i spose.

We went back to be re-assessed and they are satisfied that there shouldn't be any internal damage - but also told us that the blood tests did show she had had some bleeding (haemoglobin levels) it annoyed me a bit cos the nurse that discharged us had said the bloods were fine - obviously they were ok enough for us to go home but i don't like that we were told everythin was fine when it wasn't completely ok.. Now we are just keeping watch, as all babies have a huge drop in haemoglobin levels at around 6 weeks.. since she has had bleeding she will more than likely drop very very low.. so i am back on iron tabs to hopefully pass a little bit of extra iron on to her so she won't fall too far below safe levels.

My sis went home yesterday, she has been great. Mike has also been really good, and i think it helps that Ayja has setlled a bit with her sleeping patterns. we had a really good night the other night, with her waking only at 12, 3 and 8am.. The good thing about her feeding so much i spose is that she never lost weight.. she was weighed and had gone from 6 pound 2 up to 6 pound 9 in the first week.. so she is doing pretty well.

paris has been very overprotective of Ayja.. she already was, but now no-one is allowed to pick her up but mike or me.. and daycare has said that the whole day she is away from her little sis she is upset and whingy.. like she was when she first started there - very fragile. so far there is no jealousy.. much the opposite.. no matter what we are doing with her, if ayja so much as makes a squeak she wants us to "get ayja" and give her cuddles. she is an awesome big sister.

my sis has promised that tomorrow she will upload all the pics she took while she was here on her digital cam.. and send them through to me.. so if i have time i will update Ayja's site (have not done it for 2 months) and stick some pics on there. We had thought maybe of taking a pic of her bump on her head.. but decided we didn't want to have that reminder there.

She has now decided that she does not like anything touching her head though.. hats are a no go pretty much.. you put one on her and she screams.. we are looking at going to see a cranial osteopath just to see if that does anything. has anyone used one for their baby?

Edited by mum2paris