Waiting for natural m/c

Hi all,

I found out at a 7-week scan two weeks ago that there was no longer a heartbeat and baby hadn't grown (had also had scan at 5.5 weeks that showed faint heartbeat). This is my second miscarriage in six months. The first time I found out about our missed miscarriage at 12-week scan, in January, I had a D&C within the week.

I really hated the hospital experience though, especially since they made my husband go home (from north shore all way to west Auckland) rather than wait for me, and they didn't ring him to say I was okay and he could come get me until I was dressed and ready to go (after bawling alone for an hour) so I then had to wait there for another hour ... it was such a horrible and lonely experience.

So I decided to wait for this miscarriage to happen naturally. Yesterday at work at about 2pm I had a brown old-blood-looking discharge with a couple of tiny clots, and I had a really sore back, so I figured it was starting and took the rest of the week off. But nothing happened overnight, and today I just have a headache and nothing on the pad at all.

Was it a false alarm? Should I go back to work so I can take more time off later? Does a natural m/c usually start slowly? Is there anything you can do to speed things up naturally? I've been vacuuming like crazy and moving furniture and everything! I have no idea what to expect, and really want it to start now as if it hasn't by the end of the week then doc will prob want me to go for a D&C next week, which I still don't want. I'm so ready for it to start, I'm sick of waiting and there's only so much housework you can do in a day to distract yourself!

Thanks for any advice.

I found out at around 9 weeks that our baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. Ironically the same day we had the scan and saw a heartbeat. I started spotting two days after the 7 week scan and by 9 weeks when we found out there was no heartbeat I was still spotting and cramping. Continued to do this for another week and still nothing! Clearly the little soul wanted to hang around a bit longer. I ended up having a D&C because I was bridesmaid for my friend and didn't want a miscarriage hanging over my head on her special day. Who knows how long I would've waiting though?

Thanks very much for your kind words. It's so comforting to hear other people's stories. There seems to be a bit of action now so am settling in with a cup of tea and hot water bottle, and silly reality TV on YouTube.

I think this little guy's heart stopped beating within a day or two of my 5.5-week scan (thought we were 7 weeks then, hence the early scan). Then he hadn't grown at all in almost two weeks, and heartbeat was gone. I don't think I'll get an early scan next time. After two miscarriages, I honestly think I know now when the baby's gone -- I felt it so strongly this time, all my symptoms just disappeared, boobs deflated, could suddenly stay awake after 9pm, ravenous hunger tapered off. Exactly the same thing happened with first miscarriage at about 10 weeks, but I thought then that maybe it was normal.

Is anyone else planning to avoid an early scan in future? Of course it's probably easier said than done. I'm pretty much guaranteed to freak out and go for one eventually!

xxx

Yes Mitten, I will have to have early scans to make sure things are going ok. I think I'd rather just know and be prepared next time round. I dont think there is much I could / couldn't do to make the next pg stress free - I'm going to be on edge for 8 months, I think everyone that has miscarried would be. I just have to be positive and hope for the best. I think that when our baby is ready for us then it will stay safe. Thats what I'm telling myself anyway!

Hi Mitten and Monkeys,
Big hugs to you both
I am also in the missed m/c boat, finding out at 12 weeks that bub had stopped growing at 7 this time last year. I decided to let my body m/c naturally and spotted for about 3 /1/2 weeks with small clots etc - by the time I would have been 16 weeks I was ready for closure and sought out an accupuncturist who was able to get things moving for me. I saw him once on a Tues to prep, then again on Friday - within an hour of my appointment I was in full m/c which lasted for approx 2 hours that day with final stage for 2 hrs on the Sat. Apparently the preg sac had continued to grow until almost 14 weeks so it was quite painful but for me was the best thing to do as my body doesn't manage General anaethetic that well.
Monkeys - the midwife at EPAC at Waikato hosp was very supportive of my decision to wait but I do think she thought I was a bit mad! Please feel free to pm if you'd like to talk or anything as I am in Hams also.

MB

My doctor prescribed me with voltaren pesseries (spelling?) which were really good. I was also taking codene. Perhaps you could go see you doctor?

Monkeys, I hope things happen for you soon. Take care...

Doctor prescribed Tramadol - wish I'd had it yesterday, but feel SO relieved to not be in pain today. Thanks for your support through yesterday, lovely ladies. So good to know that others know what it's like.

Hey lovely ladies, hope you guys are doing okay? Have been thinking of you guys today. We're here to support you if you need us.

Hey ladies,
Well my wait is still going on - and for my sanity I went to the hospital today and have booked in for the D&C for Thursday - this will be a month or so after bubs stopped growing and I need closure. Have given myself a few more days hanging onto the hope that my body may do it naturally still.
I have had a bit of a brown discharge this morning which I haven't had till now, so secretly hoping this is the start, and that with the pressure of the deadline my body will spring into action
Glad things are going well for you now mitten, i am at the point when I need to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel - I just don't feel myself still and think once it has happened naturally or not then I can focus on getting back to being the person I want to be - if that makes sense. I feel for my DP as I don't think he has seen the happy fun side of me for weeks now, and won't let him near me as as crazy as it sounds scared that if we do 'it' then it may bring on the miscarriage at that time, and can't imagine that mess in the bed (sorry if thats too much information!!) just one of the many emotions/thoughts going through my head at the moment

Hi Cerub

Oh dear, you poor thing -- it's nice to have company but so sad that so many of us are going through this. I hope you can take some time off work, it must be horrible spotting or cramping at work and wondering if it's going to happen there.

In case you are wondering about the speed of things, I think it's really different for everyone but mine started with brown discharge last Tuesday afternoon. That carried on in a minor way through Wednesday but I'd taken the day off so I stayed home, as I felt I needed it mentally if nothing else. Then I woke up on Thursday morning to quite a lot of blood, rushed to the loo and everything happened pretty quickly from that point on.

Monkeys, sounds like the process might have started for you but if it doesn't happen 'in time' then at least with a D&C you can start moving on -- and having done it both ways I now think there's definite pros and cons to each.

I still don't feel myself, couldn't concentrate at work today at all. And I haven't let my partner near me either! All in good time I suppose....

Good luck you two xox