Weddings - who pays?

Our groomsmen etc are paying for their own stuff. I'm too cheap/our budget doesnt allow for hundreds of dollars of clothing for people. Just talk to them about it :) I'm sure they'll come to some sort of arrangement - or something cheaper for you.

How bout saying to them. "yep, no problem to use our car, but how about you pay for the suit!"

Maybe you need to be completely honest and say that you are on a tight budget and can't afford it and perhaps your Dh will have to pass up on being a groomsman.

We paid for our bridemaids and groomsmans suits and dresses as well. But then we also got some very generous gifts from them.
BTW $110 isn't too bad, we paid $150 for our suits.

Agree with the others if he's using your car for nothing, then the couple getting married should pay for the suit.

Or don't be a groomsman, just go as a guest.

Our groomsmen paid for their suits and the bridesmaids paid for the dresses to be made (but we paid for the material). We were on a tight budget and it is pretty standard for the wedding party to contribute to the costs. It is also standard for the bride and groom to give special gifts to the party though.

I will be matron of honour at a wedding next Feb and am expecting to pay for my dress then.

Having said that I think there is nothing wrong with asking them to pay since you are loaning the car (but in which case I would probably include the gas).

I also think there is nothing wrong with being up front and saying you can't afford the costs. I think if I were a bride I would be horrified if I knew that someone had overextended themselves on our account.

and I don't think 2 days is enough notice.

Edited by Bobbie

RachandJack wrote: Ok some friends of ours are getting married and asked Ben to be a groomsman. A couple of days ago they told Ben he had to be somewhere today to get a suit and would cost him $110, is it normal for the groomsman to be expected to pay for the suit? and is this a standard price for suit hireage?

Usually (in my little world) the groom covers it as it goes with the price of the bar tab as something the Grooms family covers (being that the best man represents them and all). But if it is unaffordable then yes it would fall on them to cover the hireage of their own suits and IMO perfectly acceptable.

RachandJack wrote: Also they have decided they are going to use Bens car (decided they never asked just told Ben) is it rude to expect them to pay for gas?

Nope, I would insist on it if it is cutting you dry, not a whole tank full mind you but maybe $20 wouldn't go astray!

RachandJack wrote: We are on an extremely tight budget and it just annoys me that we are having to pay for their wedding and because of that our kids are missing out on stuff.

I think that responsibility falls directly on your (as a family) own shoulders. When you sign up to be in a wedding party you sign up for the deals that they break as it is their day, not your own.

RachandJack wrote: I don't want this to ruin our friendship but its getting quite hard. Ben doesn't like saying anything to his friends but this particular one has used Ben a few times for his own gain. If its not right I'm going to have to say something to my friend (the girl getting married).

If it is financially crippling you then SAY SOMETHING!! Two of my bridesmaids just couldn't afford their wedding shoes and dresses (which they were meant to buy themselves) so we bought them for the girls who couldn't afford it and the paid them off in HP. If worst comes to worst just don't get them a wedding pressie either and just make them dinner one night instead.

I cant believe after selling his car he is still on talking terms.
DH groomsmen paid for their suits. They were $65 each and we paid the $200 deposit on them (paid once as a group, not individually). They were told of the cost when they were asked so they knew from the beginning and could pull out or discuss it with us if they werent comfortable with it. That was the only cost to them. We also gave them a gift as our way to thank them for being part of our day.

I would tell them that you are on a tight budget and its one or the other not both!

oh yeah I should add we didn't expect or get pressies from the bridal party either.

Ben is quite trusting and lets his friends do whatever the want because he thinks they would do the same for him. It drives me mad but if I say anything he gets mad at me. I can't stand this particular friend I have soooo many stories of him basically ripping us off for his own gain. They have been friends since they were small so Ben can't see it.

Seems we got the wrong end of the stick, the suits don't need to be paid for for quite a while but just needed to be fitted yesterday. The bride and groom are also puttig in some money. So We are just going to let that one go and pay for the suit.

I will be saying something about the car. Its Bens baby hes already had one stolen (this one is a tribute to his first baby) so it will be him driving it (I'm not even allowed to drive it) and it will be going straight home to his garage after. I will be saying this to them because they don't seem to understand every part of his car is brand new (apart from the shell lol). Its a V8 so uses a lot of gas and they live a good 30 mins (along 100k roads) so will cost a bit of gas. I might just sit down and talk to my friend because shes a bit more reasonable.

Thanks for all the advice, its been really helpful.