Wet nursing and donating milk

I wouldn't have any problems with someone else feeding my child if I couldn't. I'd be more concerned about the welfare of my child. I was adopted at 2 weeks old and had a good bond with my adopted mother without breastfeeding.

I would expect with a wet nurse they wouldn't have the same emotional bond to the baby.

Especially if breast is best, then I'd be happy to find a way to give them that, then formula becomes a last resort.

I know I definitely wouldn't want another woman to BF my baby, but am not sure how I feel about using donated EBM if I couldn't produce milk myself? Maybe if I knew the woman, I wouldn't think about the milk coming from some cracked out P addict who went to a milk bank to get some cash??

On the other side, I'd happily donate EBM, but not sure I'd feel comfortable BF another baby either?

I honestly don't know... Maybe it all feels so personal just because it involves boobs?

Well, as I said in the BF ads thread, I already have given donated EBM to my DS. I struggled for 12 weeks in an attempt to BF my DS, and had a very low milk supply so couldn't give him much EBM either. He was bottle fed from day 5 onwards. It didn't really bother me whether he was fed via boobie or bottle, as long as he was healthy and happy, but I did want to give him as much EBM as possible.

We were incredibly blessed to meet another mother who lived near us, with a son just one week younger than ours, who wanted to help us out. She had an abundant milk supply and offered to give us EBM for our son, which she did for 10 weeks (an amazing feat, I owe her soooo much babysitting to return the favour ). We had only met once beforehand, which made me think she must be the most wonderful person in the world offering to do that for a total stranger.

We had the same midwife, who set the whole thing up for us - she basically just asked whether each of us would be happy to donate and receive EBM and then introduced us to each other. She talked us through the risks of using unpastuerised EBM, and we understood that AIDS, hepatitis (and apparently thrush) can be passed on via EBM [these things can also be passed on through use of second-hand breast pumps by the way - read the fine-print in the instruction book]. Since she was the midwife for both of us, she knew our medical details and therefore knew the EBM was safe. So after a few days of debate, DH and I decided we would like to use it. 

The woman who donated the EBM is a vegetarian (I'm not) and we used to joke that DS had the most varied diet of any babies we knew: he had my omnivorous diet EBM, plus vegetarian EBM plus formula . We also figured that he got a double dose of immunity.

So how did it feel from my point of view? Well, I must admit it definitely felt weird to know my DS was drinking someone elses EBM the first time I gave it to him. Kinda felt gross when pouring it into the bottle and heating it up, then cleaning the bottle afterwards. Oh, and I soon learnt not to ask how long it took her to pump a certain volume of EBM cause it made me feel completely useless for taking half an hour to produce some pathetic amount like 10 mls.  I was pretty upset about being unable to BF and my low milk supply. But anyway, after feeding DS the donated EBM for the first time I was completely fine with it.  And felt incredibly lucky to be receiving such a precious gift for DS.

Oh, and I know its completely irrational for me to think this, but I would be really uncomfortable with the thought of someone else being his wet-nurse. Part of me was curious to know whether DS would latch onto someone else who didn't have flat nipples, but mostly I didn't want to find out if he would or not. I  bottle feeding DS and does DH - it's really important bonding time for us both.

pepsi wrote: Maybe if I knew the woman, I wouldn't think about the milk coming from some cracked out P addict who went to a milk bank to get some cash??

 

From the sounds of the previous comments in this thread you wouldn't need to offer cash for EBM, there are plenty of lovely ladies that have BM in abundance and would be happy to donate.

When I was in hospital I made HEAPS of colostrum and my mother was telling me I should donate the stuff I couldn't use in time (because the hospital were having to biff the excess). So I asked one of the midwives about it and she said unfortunately new mothers wouldn't want to use it (but she wished they would).

how do you know if you have heaps of colostrum? i seem to have heaps more this time already than last time, but possibly coz i only stopped bfing a few months ago?

fair enough then