Would you speak up?

As you all know there are quite a few cases of child abuse (and abusive partners etc) and sometimes when you read through the articles neighbours are quoted as saying that they noticed odd behaviour or they were shocked to see a toddler wandering the streets unsupervised or they heard screaming etc.

These people come forward and mention these things in hindsight but didn't alert authorities at the time.  I guess we live in a society of "what we don't know doesn't hurt us" and "it's better to keep our nose out of things that don't involve us".

What would you do if you suspected abuse in one of your neighbours homes?

I'd really like to say when push comes to shove I'd step in and call the police.

I've never been in an extreme situation but when I was preg we lived next door to a couple who were always fighting and I woke from one of my afternoon naps because he was throwing objects across the room and they were banging against the bedroom wall behind me.  I did nothing, just waited for the tirade to stop.

Later on we got a neighbour that screamed at her 8yo son and called him awful names.  Not all the time, sometimes they seemed to get on really well but other times she was a real b!tch.  Again I minded my own business but when he was being ultra noisy late at night I got into the habit of tapping on his bedroom window and asking him to be quiet rather than talking to his mum, so he wouldn't get yelled at.

  Well done Neoshasmummy.  I think you definitely made the right decision.

When you look at it that way - weighing up the inconvenience of moving compared to a childs life - it's not a tough choice really.

I don't hesitate to call the police if I know what I can hear is someone being hurt - done it before, plenty of times.  We have a habit of attracting abusive neighbours in the houses surrounding ours.  The family who used to be right next door were the worst - he was a big, strong, very violent man who took it all out on his partner, and there were kids who lived with it all.  When I heard them starting up (he got really very violent), I'd go over there and bang on the door until she'd come out, and I'd call the police.  The last time it happened, we heard all the shouting and banging, SIL was staying at the time and she sat there terrified listening to him, we called 111, and then the kids arrived at our house, saying that he was holding a large knife against her!  Thankfully the police arrived just then and dealt with him quickly, but nothing any of us did or said got her to shift away from him.  It was really heartbreaking.  They moved away, and sometimes I wonder if she's still alive... she seemed the loveliest lady, and there was something so special about those kids.  We've got neighbours now who fight violently and loudly on occasion - I don't feel stink about ringing the police.  I'd hate to think that I'd been part of letting someone get away with treating a person so badly. 

I was thinking about this some more over lunch and thinking about what you said Roskana about your DD screaming her head of just because her nails were being cut.  To tell the truth I'd rather have police knock on my door to check up on Michaela if the neighbours heard her screaming than the knowledge that my neighbours wouldn't do anything.

Part of the issue is that many of us don't get to know our neighbours so we can't differentiate between a neighbour who's kids screaming because they're having a tanty as opposed to a neighbour whose kid's screaming because their being repeatedly violently abused.