dont know what to do...

so the saga with SIL continues although has gotten much worse. Quick overview is that about a month ago it all came out that she has tried to commit suicide a few times and is not in a very good headspace at the moment. Turns out a lot is to do with family issues when she was a kid, not feelingn loved etc etc.

We finally got her to go see a lovely lovely doctor who by the sounds of it was really helpful and SIL has been doing ok last few weeks. Yesterday she finally asked her mum to come around for a chat as she hasnt talked to her since this all came out, and MIL totally said the wrong things re the family issues in the past and ended up leaving. So SIL was very upset and this morning DH got a text at work asking him to go help her cos she is stuck. Turns out she was trying to hang herself with a belt but then text back saying its ok she got it off. He went round to her place anyway and she had scissors, razor blades etc and was trying to do her wrists. So he bundled her up and dropped her off at the police station and they have got the crisis team coming over to take her to the hospital. This is what we had been advised to do originally if we were concerned for her safety.

I know we have done everything we can (me and DH are the only people she will talk to) but I know that she is so determined sometime she will succeed, and we will forever be left with feeling like... not that its our fault or anything, but maybe there was something else we could do. I dont know, it just makes me so sad that my DH has to sort all this sh*t out, and also really sad that SIL feels like her life is just not worth living (and apparently never has been).

Hug your babies close and never let them feel like we dont love them...

aww hun big hugs doncst sound like a very nice place to be in at this moment big big hugs

Aw Aimee. I really feel for ya! Wish I had something more useful I could say

xox

to you aimee, not sure what to say.

Big hugs Aimee! What a complex situation! I wish I had something profound to say, but I've got nothing. Will think on it and come back later.

Oh but I do think you guys have def done the right thing by handing her over to the crisis team and I really hope that she gets some good help from them. Mental illness is such a lonely, isolating experience so knowing that you guys care that much about her might just be enough to make a difference for her.

It's hard with MIL saying the wrong things, I don't know if it's a generational thing or what but my Mum is exactly the same, when I've been really sick with depression her attitude is always "snap out of it" which of course is the red rag to the bull, and when family stuff that's happened in the past comes up she just can't get her head around why it still matters now just coz SHE's over it. Not that she doesn't care, she just doesn't know how to respond any other way.

More big hugs, am thinking of you and Daniel and SIL.

big hugs to you..wish i had some advice too... you certainly have done all you can what a hard situation:(

The thing with MIL is she has no tact and since her stroke a couple of years ago, just seems to be oblivious to a lot. I think all SIL wants is acknowledgement that what happened could have been handled better, and she acknowledges that she was not blameless, but she was a kid. She tried to explain this to MIL who basically said it was because of her (SILs) bad behaviour that it all happened. A few weeks ago SIL had said the only thing that was stopping her from actually going through with it was what it would do to her mum. and now that she feels betrayed by her mum, she figures theres nothing to stop her now.

DH popped into police on way home for lunch and spoke to one of the MH team who had come over to pick her up and filled them in on what had been happening and the help we have been trying to get. They are taking her over to the hospital to see a psychiatrist who hopefully will admit her. She was begging them for help, but I am very worried they will just send her home. I have no idea what we will do if that happens cos as much as I would like to help I cannot have her living here with us, when I already have my own two kids to look after.

Am also worried cos DH is being 'a man' about it all, so am not looking forward to when this is all going to hit him. Not just this, but the four funerals we've had as well.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, it makes me feel a lot better to have people to talk to.

Aimee I'm sorry you and your poor family are going through this. I don't have any words of wisdom but sounds like you guys are doing the best you can and what really more can you do except your best.

Aimee - I think that under the MH Act a person can be committed to the hospital if they are a danger to themselves. They can be put on a "hold" for a set period of time, which they can do voluntarily, or I think the family can do it as well. I am just going off to search the web and see if I can find the info for you. I will PM you too.